


Au

by ShipersAnonymous



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Chemistry, Childhood Trauma, Comedy, F/M, Family Drama, Fluff, Psychology, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2020-05-20 19:57:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 51,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19383661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShipersAnonymous/pseuds/ShipersAnonymous
Summary: Worth more than goldIris West is a multi billionaire and heiress who's emotionally scarring childhood has made her shut herself off to all possible emotional relationships.Her life takes an interesting turn when her adoptive grandfather passes away leaving her in charge of his fortune, including a share of S. T. A. R. Labs. While in Central City, she meets Barry Allen, an innocent and charmingly clumsy kind of guy with a high EQ who's trying to climb his way up the science social ladder to become a recognised scientist. Can you guess his lab of choice?Your average, every day, girl meets boy kinda story with a rags to riches twist, a dash of family drama, lots of angst and a love worth more than Au.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A-hoy there shippers!
> 
> So...I'm going to take the weekend to update Frozen Hearts (cause I won't have access to the Internet till Sunday and it will take me till then to actually finish the chapter) but I didn't want to leave yall without anything so here's a taste of what's to come.😍🤭
> 
> This is the first chapter of my next fic and yes it's called Au. If you didn't get exactly why from the summary, the story will explain it. 😂💜
> 
> As for Frozen Hearts I've decided to compromise. I'm taking the short route but I'll be using longer chapters so everyone is happy 😍💜 (I hope) 🤭 
> 
> For now enjoy the story and as always please let me know what you think 😍😍💜
> 
> XOXO  
> 💜🖤

Her hand rested on the cool glass of the floor to ceiling window as she overlooked the nightly view offered by her million dollar apartment. The sky was clear, not a single cloud concealed the sparkle of the stars that were dimmed only by the ever present Parisian city lights. The moon was full and white, its iridescent light bathed her naked body creating a picture out of shadows on her bare skin. Iris took a sip from her glass, the semi-sweet wine burning her tongue with a pleasant ardour before she swallowed and it heated her body from the inside out. Her latest boy toy came up from behind her, his body just as bare as hers, and wrapped his arms around her waist. He proceeded to leave a trail of kisses down her neck, savouring in the feel of her warm chocolaty skin against his lips and she simply took another sip of her drink, completely unfazed. 

 

"You're so beautiful," he whispered on to her shoulders but she seemed unmoved by the compliment. With her stare trained on the cityscape bellow she simply said, 

 

"It's getting late." Eddie knew what that meant, it was time for him to leave. It didn't surprise him but even after months of this back and forth ritual between them it still hurt him to know that to her he was nothing more than a sex toy. He quietly moved away from her and made his way up the stairs to get dressed. As always he didn't bother saying goodbye, he couldn't say goodbye, not to her. She was like a drug to him, no matter how much she hurt him he'd always come running back when she called. That's why he couldn't say goodbye, he wasn't done with her yet. 

 

Iris waited until she heard the door close to let her guard down. She didn't do that often but today she made an exception. She had too much on her mind to keep her walls up. With a partially full bottle of red in one hand and her glass in the other she made her way up to her suite. She showered, washing away the tension from her stressed muscles along with the sweat of her late night activities. Wrapped in nothing but a satin robe, she settled down in her bed and drank her way through half the bottle without so much as a minor buzz. She opened her side table drawer and from it took out a black, rectangular picture frame. Her fingers caressed the glass that held a picture of a younger less, damaged version of her, standing next to a kind faced older man. Grandpa West. The only reason why there's still any shred of humanity left in her. She smiled, as happy memories played out in her mind and this time she didn't stop the tears from flowing.

 

This was her one moment of vulnerability. The only minute of grief she would allow herself to have before she withdrew back into her safety shell and locked away her emotions from the world. This world that had chewed her up and spat her out on countless occasions and now it took away the one person that made her life livable.

Elvis West was a type of hero to her. He saved her from the crippling grasp of the foster system she was under and gave her a life fit for a princess. Now, like everything and everyone else in her life, he was gone. No wonder she didn't open up to the possibility of new relationships. Her father didn't want her, her mother died giving birth to her and every foster family she went to, succeeded in making her feel less than human. Grandpa West was the last person she ever showed genuine affection towards and nothing on Earth could ever make her open up again. Love wasn't worth the pain it caused.

 

She fell asleep with that picture held tight against her chest, the empty bottle of wine rested on the nightstand and her pillow was bathed in her tears. The next morning she took the family jet to Central City for the memorial. The man was sentimental and his birth town held a special place in his heart. As she looked out the window at the tiny town below she remembered the countless stories he'd shared with her at bed time about how he met his one true love. Grandma Esther. Iris didn't get to know her all that much. She had recently passed away when Grandpa West took her in so the only impression she had of the woman came from the many tales he'd tell. He spoke fondly of her and when he did she noticed that his eyes had a certain quality about them as he stared into oblivion completely lost in thought. As a girl she'd dreamed that she'd find someone who would look at her with those same eyes but time and knowledge wiped away that childish fantasy. True love was just a myth that man kind made up to silence their fear of being alone and make their animal like desires less shameful. It was an excuse used to answer the existential crisis of the more gullable who believed that a cerebral chemical reaction was good enough a reason to live. Pathetic.

 

She'd made her peace with it and found a new reason to live. Pleasure. Whether it lie at the bottom of a six thousand dollar bottle of champagne, at the end of the endless zero's in her checks or a really good night of sex, she would have it and no one could convince her otherwise. No one could tell her that this wasn't the way to live life. The only person who's opinion she cared about was currently six feet under ground. The rest of the world was just a stage and she was the director.

The jet landed and she took a minute to touch up her make up before she catwalked her way out. As soon as she entered the airport she was showered with a billion flash lights. You'd think she was a movie star or big shot music sensation but all she was, was rich.

She owned shares to five of the worlds most prominent media outlets varying from magazines to newspapers and that doesn't count the old money she was raised in.

 

Linda walked up behind her and huffed under her breath.

 

"Mon Dieu (My goodness)." she exclaimed frustrated. 

 

"Que s'est-il passé? (What happened)" Iris questioned with her shaded eyes still trained straight ahead. Linda was the closest thing to a friend Iris would allow herself to have, mostly because she was a good assistant and Iris found herself enjoying her company. 

 

"Nous sommes entourés d'idiots. (We're surrounded by idiots)" she explained and Iris let out an amused chuckle. Remembering that she needed to ease her tongue back into the English language she responded,

 

"That I already knew." Her accent was still pronounced but she knew that after an hour or two it would soon fade. She might have been raised and educated in France but she was brought up by Americans so English was more like second nature than it was a second language to her.

 

"What do I have to do today?" she asked, her step never faltering and her face never turning to acknowledge the curios glares. Her security detail walked a safe distance ahead, already accustomed to her need for personal space and fast walking pace.

 

"Uh...d'abord (firstly)-"

 

"En anglais Linda. In English." she interrupted. 

 

"Oui, I mean yes. Sorry. Firstly you have the will reading with Monsieur Wells and then a share holders meeting at some sort of laboratory." Linda listed out, her accent much more noticeable than that of her employer. 

 

"Great, just what I needed today. A sit down with a bunch of old mouth breathers who think they know about science because they invested in a laboratory." It was all she could do not to slap her own forehead in exasperation. Not that she knew much about science herself but S. T. A. R. Labs wasn't her baby, it was her grandfather's and being his only heir, with his passing it automatically became hers. 

 

The limo was waiting outside for her surrounded by reporters and a growing crowd all waiting to catch a glimpse of her. To the public and the press she was basically anonymous. They knew her face and envied her net worth but they couldn't pin a single rumor on her. As scandalous as the life she led might have been Iris West knew how to be discreet and the mystery surrounding her life is the very reason why she wasn't just another person apart of the wealthy minority. 

 

She stepped inside the lavish auto mobile without so much as a wave in the on-lookers direction and as soon as the doors were closed she drove off with her security detail riding in a black Land Rover behind her. 

 

"Why on earth do we need a will reading exactly? I mean my grandfather had no one but me to leave his estate to and I've already taken care of all the charity's he was associated with." 

She'd spoken to all the parties concerned and guaranteed that all her grandfathers monthly and yearly donations would remain on schedule despite his untimely departure. She was an anti-social socialite not an emotionless bitch. 

 

"I don't understand the logic behind it either but Dr Wells insisted that you attend." 

Iris huffed out a frustrated breath and massaged her temple's with her thumb and middle finger. 

 

"I'm gonna need a pain killer." 

 

They made a brief stop at the towering black gates and once an armed guard confirmed the identities of all the people in both vehicles they were let through. They drove through the perfectly groomed garden, that was split in the middle by a cobblestone drive way, and pulled up to a gigantic structure. It was a massive building, with just enough floor to ceiling windows to allow for the right amount of privacy. She stepped through the door and made her way up the stair case. 

 

"Where are you going?" Linda asked, her voice alert. 

 

"Les toilettes (the restroom). I need a bath," she answered taking a short turn to the right and climbing up the remainder of the way. 

 

"But Monsieur Wells will be here any minute."

 

"And I pay him handsomely for his time. He can wait." 

Iris shut the doors to her suite and took a moment to breathe before she walked to the bathroom and striped off her travel clothes. Her bath was already waiting for her (the servants knew the drill, they kept track of her whereabouts because as soon as she stepped through those doors she needed to have her bath). She stepped into the scalding hot water, the steam rose all around her in twirling wisps carrying with it the unmistakable smell of coconut. Coconut oil did wonders for her skin. She sank into it up to her neck and closed her eyes completely allowing her body to relax. 

 

Her moment of bliss was short lived, however, because a few minutes later a knock came at her door. She cursed under her breath before she told the person to enter. 

 

"Mademoiselle West? Monsieur Wells is here," came Linda's voice from the room. 

 

"I'll be down in a minute," she huffed out and waited for the sound of the door closing before she sank deeper into the tub, not worried that her hair was getting wet. She resurfaced and elevated her body from the bath tub. Without bothering to towel down she wrapped her self into a satin black robe that was decorated with yellow, orange and green flowers at the hems. The fabric stuck to her bare, moist body and her hair left droplets of water in her wake as she exited her room, making her way downstairs. 

She found Wells seated in the office with a small cup of coffee in his hands. He stood when he noticed her at the door, ever the gentleman. 

 

"Ms West. Always a pleasure." he greeted and she walked into the room, slapping on her most convincing (yet neutral) smile. 

 

"Wells. Wish I could say the same but unfortunately the sentiment is not shared." 

 

She took the seat behind the desk and leaned back into it, crossing her legs and arms in the process. 

 

"Can we speed up the process?" she asked looking far from amused. 

 

"Unfortunately not," he said. 

That response was not what she wanted to hear and after the night she had and the long flight Iris found herself losing her composure. 

 

"And why the hell not?" she demanded. 

 

"Because we're waiting for someone." Wells answered, loosening his tie as his discomfort grew. 

 

"Who?" Iris asked confused, as far as she was aware she was her grandfather's only heir. She didn't have to wait long for an explanation because seconds after she uttered the question the door bell rang. 

 

"I believe that's him right now." Wells said standing up to greet the mystery guest. Iris followed suit, her confusion clear on her face. 

 

"Him? Him who?" she asked and the new comer stepped into the room. 

 

"Me." he said. He was a tall, dark skinned man that looked like he was somewhere in his late forties. Iris gave him a once over before she folded her arms across her chest and shot him a suspicious look. 

 

"And you are?" She sassed out. 

 

"Joe West. I'm Elvis's son."

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates, one day! Yesss I feel accomplished. This is an early "I'm sorry" cause I have two other fics that I have to get ahead on so I might be a little late with Frozen Hearts. BUT! After todays chapter I think we all need some time to take it all in. 😂💜
> 
> I hope you enjoy this one.  
> XOXO  
> 💜🖤

"Get out!" She screamed, throwing a vase at both of the defenseless men. Her aim was as bad as her temper and the fragile ornament hit the wall, erupting in a tragically beautiful display of shattered glass.

Angry.  
Betrayed.  
Used.  
Alone.

Iris felt all these and more after a birth certificate and his name on Elvis's last wil and testament proved that the stranger was telling the truth. As much as she wanted to deny it, the facts were irrefutable. But her rage didn't stem from the fact that he had a son nor from the fact that the inheritance would be shared. She could care less about his filthy money, because at 18 she made her first investment and by the time she was 21 she had enough investments and shares to set her up for life. The inheritance was cheap change in comparison.

So what bothered her wasn't material. It was emotional. It was the fact that this new and fundamental bit of information was sufficient to make her question the past 16 years of her life. It made no sense to her logic based brain that she could be raised by a man and not know that he in fact had a son. Just like that, the one person she held in her damaged heart, the one person she trusted blindly and the only person in this world who could make her care about matters that didn't concern her. Her grandfather who was the only true object of her love and affection had suddenly become a complete stranger to her.

"Ms West. I beg you please. Contain yourself." Wells tried but his pleas fell on to ears deafened by heartbreak.  
"Get. The fuck. Out of my house!" she screamed.  
"But the will..."  
"I don't give a rat's ass about the fucking will. You can take it and burry it with the son of a bitch who wrote it!"  
At that Joe stepped forward and despite his towering over her, Iris stood her ground, directing a heated glare up at him.

"I understand that you're upset Iris but that in no way gives you the right to disrespect my father."

"Oh save your sentimental crap for some one who gives a shit. I was the one who had to make sure he took his meds every day. I was the one that sat with him every Christmas and every New Year and every Birthday listening to the same old playlist over and over again. I was the one that called an ambulance when he had his first stroke and I was the one that had to pick out a suit for him to get buried in. So don't you tell me what I do and don't have the right to do, Mr West." she spat out.  
"And don't call me Iris. I haven't given you that luxury yet." hatred dripped from her every word like poison from a serpents fang and with that final remark she stormed out of the room and back up to her bedroom. Once she was safely behind closed doors, she took a deep breath as her mind shifted into auto pilot then proceeded to make herself look decent. Hair pulled up into a pony tail. White blouse and black pencil skirt. Red lipstick and a dark smoky eye for dramatic effect. Then with a determined stare she marched out of the building. Each high heeled step ringing through the mansion with a vengeful promise.

The men had left by the time she was done getting ready and the servants were clearing out the after math of her little out burst. But that was just a warm up. She stepped into her red, two door, Audi A3 convertible and sped off in the direction of the city, stopping briefly at a bottle store before she made her way to the cemetery. The sky had grown cloudy and the sound of her slamming her car door shut was emphasized by the rumble of distant thunder. Her heels clicked across the cemented ground mimicking the steady rhythm of a battle drum, before she stepped onto the grass. She came to a hault infront of a freshly covered grave. The name etched in stone was that of the man she once considered as family but now meant as much to her as that of an anonymous John Doe.

"Who are you?" she asked, tears stinging her eyes but she held her ground. He didn't deserve the grief she felt.  
"Who the hell are you?! Huh?!" she screamed and her voice echoed around the morbid city of the dead.  
"Why did you take me in?! Was I one of your charity cases?! Is that it? Was I just a live puppet you could keep around to distract you from you're miserable and pathetic existance?! Was that it?!" she yelled, straining her voice in order to hold back her sobs.  
"Well jokes on you old man cause I got the last laugh! You hear me! I'm here, I'm alive and I'm going to take over everything you've ever built while you rott away in a wodden box!" she screamed.  
"I hope you burn in hell!"

She let out a frustrated scream then fell to her knees, unable to keep her tears in any longer.  
"How could you?" she whimpered. With the exhaustion of her anger came a place for heartache to set in and the betrayal she felt was unfathomable.  
"I thought you loved me. You told me that you loved me." she corrected.  
"Then explain to me how could you lie to someone you love? How could you not tell me that you had a son Papa? Were you that ashamed of me? Did you not trust me enough with your secret? Was - I - not - family enough - for you to let me know?" she sobbed, her cries growing more desperate with each insecurity that bubbled to the forefront of her mind.  
"Do you have any idea what it's like? To be given a nurturing home, a sence of security, a family then have it all ripped away. To grow to trust someone enough to let them fix you only to have them break you even more once you're all patched up?" she questioned and her voice trembled with the force of her sobs. Inside her a phoenix was rising from the ashes of her shattered dreams. Each sob brought her closer to closure. Each tear cleansed her body of pain. Each strained breath brought her back to herself until slowly her cold demeanour crept back in.

"Well that's exactly what you've done Elvis." she affirmed, dabbing away at her tears and rebuilding the walls she had around her heart. Her calling him by name signified the cutting of their ties, she was saying goodbye to her childhood farytale for good.  
"Have a nice death." she hissed then spat on his grave and turned around to leave. As she walked to her car she made herself a promise to never return.

"Are you OK miss?" the question came from behind her, stopping her in her tracks. It was a shy, barely there whisper and for a second Iris thought that she had imagined it but the voice persisted.  
"I didn't mean to scare you. I just...I saw you crying and all, not that I was spying on you I just...."  
"Oh for the love of Gucci would you please shut -" she whipped around and was taken a back, swallowing her words as she drank in the sight before her. Piercing green eyes with the faintest hint of gold stared back at her from a dashingly concerned face, rendering her speechless and making her stomach turn with a feeling she'd never experienced before. The feeling of nervous butterflies. The clouds roared as they met and so it began to rain. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While we await yet another Frozen Hearts chapter here's a little love letter from yours truly just to show you that I care. Nothing major happens in this chapter I just thought I should add it so that you can see the differences between the characters and to give them a little depth ☺️💜
> 
> Hope ya like it 😍 and Ship-ya-later💜  
> XOXO  
> 💜🖤

Earlier that day...

 

The alarm went off and Barry flung his hand out from underneath the covers towards the screeching device. One tap, two taps, three taps later and it finally grew quiet. As he drifted back to sleep the sound of a dragged shuffle grew louder as it got closer to him. A yawn sounded followed by a sleepy muffle that carried in it a message along the lines of

"Dude, we're gonna be late".

 

His roomate shuffled out and Barry listened to his retreat before returning his attention to the task at hand but unfortunately it was too late. The need to sleep had left him. Like a brainless being he rose from his bed, tripping over everything before him (including air) and walking his way to the bathroom. As soon as the cold water hit his face his sences came to life. He awakened completely and with his new and alert state came a radiant smile that seemed to be permanently plastered on to his face. A quick shower and teeth brushing later and he was back in his bedroom, dancing around in nothing but his jeans and a pair of socks while he picked out a shirt.

 

"You can't find a partner use a wodden chair, let's rock. Every body lets rock. Every body in the...." a knock on his door stopped him mid lyric and he turned away from his cupboard to give the new comer permission to enter.

Cisco popped his head in through the door with a liquorice stick (his breakfast of choice) hanging from his mouth.

 

"Yoh Elvis Presley, can you hurry up with the sequens we're gonna be late."

 

"Late for what?" Barry asked settling on a plain white t-shirt and throwing a navy blue cardigan on over it.

 

"The investors meeting at S. T. A. R. Labs? The people who are funding our internship are gonna be there so they want us to be there too? Any of this ring a bell?" he asked swinging the half eaten piece of candy in the air like a magic memory wand.

 

"Oh right," Barry recalled and Cisco shook his head, holding back the urge to slap his forehead. The house phone chimed and he left with a final "speed up" warning. Barry took a brush to his easy going patch of hair that caved to each gentle stroke without protest then made his way out to kitchen.

He entered just as Cisco put down the phone.

"That was Dr. Snow. Seems like there's been a death amongst the investors. The meetings been pushed up to later in the afternoon so we're going to have a late night," he informed while slumping down into a chair and reaching out for the TV remote. Barry shrugged to no one in particular, dismissing the information as unimportant and moving towards the cupboard for some turtle mix.

 

"Hey there buddy. You hungry?" he cooed as he unloaded a scoop of food into the medium sized glass case that housed their pet turtle.

 

"I honestly don't know why you talk to that thing. It's not like it's gonna answer back. I mean all it does is sit there and look ancient." Cisco remarked with his attention still trained on the ever changing screen.

 

"Don't listen to him Mc Snurtle, you don't look a day over a hundred." Barry responded with a goofy pout as he reached in and rubbed the turtles hard shell with his finger. He watched for a while as the reptile feasted at his usual languid pace and Barry just smiled, inexplicably entertained.

 

"You know maybe we should get McSnurtle a girlfriend. He looks lonely." Barry observed and Cisco snorted in response.

 

"You can barely get yourself a girlfriend and you want to get one for the world's tiniest dinosaur?" he asked and Barry rolled his eyes in response but his roomates eyes were too glued to the TV screen for him to notice. Barry made his way to the other couch in the cozy apartment and sat down to join Cisco in his latest TV binge. They ended up debating the many scientific faults and accuracies in the show with a passion only mastered by stereotypical (and this is meant in the best sense of the word) nerds.

 

The clock struck noon and Barry grew stir crazy.

"I'm gonna head out for a bit." he said but when his revelation was met with no answer he directed a questioning glance at Cisco and found that he was fast asleep. A very soft thunder rumbled in the distance and deciding that he would make it home before the downpour he left without an umbrella.

 

The sky was a light grey that darkened in hue towards the east where the storm, undoubtedly was coming from. Barry walked lazily down the street towards the cemetery. He could have gotten a cab but the weather was at the perfect interim point between sun shine and rain so a five block walk felt necessary. He took deep breaths in through his nose, enjoying the earthy smell of the coming drizzle that fluttered toward him on the back of a pleasant breeze. He passed by a group of high school girls taking a group photo and offered them a charming smile. That picture, it's safe to say, became a collage of varying shades of crimson cheeks.

 

He walked through the gates of the cemetery and the familiar feeling of nostalgia infused sadness crept into his heart as he neared his parents resting place. The graves laid side by side, an image of their devotion to each other that even in death their love carried on.

 

"Hi mom. Hi dad." he greeted once he'd reached them then exposed his pocketed hands to caress the cool stones, simultaneously wiping of some of the collected dust. He crouched down infront of them and continued his solo conversation. 

"Sorry its been a while, I've been busy." he blushed, hearing his parents condemning tones in his head. 

"I know, I know that's not an excuse and I promise I'll try to do better. I'm just really tired and I miss you both, a little more each day." The back of his throat burned with tears but before he could hang his head and cry he heard a distressed scream from somewhere near by. Ever the model citizen, his ability to sympathise and his need to help kicked in and he left his parents graves to go in search of the troubled soul. Barry didn't have to walk far before he came a cross an enchanting woman, beautiful even in her state of emotional turbulence and made more charming by her complete vulnerability. The wind blew her ebony hair in all manner of directions, concealing her facial features and adding to the mystery that seemed to draw him to her. He stepped in her direction just as she turned on her heel and made her way to him. She seemed to be leaving. Barry ducked behind a grave and waited for her to make her exit, convincing himself that she probably didn't want to be disturbed. 

 

The mesmerising stranger stormed past him without noticing his presence and for the brief moment in which he watched her walk away he found himself running short of air. It was almost as if each step she took away from him decreased the levels of oxygen around him so finally he gathered up his courage and as he stepped out of his hiding place, he asked if she was alright. When she turned around to express her annoyance, their eyes connected and hers, he realised, were an intoxicating shade of brown. She drank him in and he felt himself grow afraid at the intensity with which she analised him. His face began to flush as he traced each detail of her feminine features, committing each line and curve to memory. The world around him seemed to dim in comparison and so when the rain fell, to him it looked like a painting being drained of its colour. All else washed away and there was only her. 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still working on Frozen Hearts (it's going to be a bit of a loaded chapter, fair warning) so not to leave you high and dry for the weekend heres a little Au magic.
> 
> Enjoy Comic-Con weekend everyone!!!   
> Ship-ya-later  
> XOXO   
> 💜🖤

They both ducked into a nearby mausoleum to shelter themselves from the roaring downpour. They were strangers to eachother, tied together by nothing more than unfortunate weather conditions and an undeniable attraction to eachothers physical appearance. A silent corpse stood between them, blissfully at rest beneath layers of wood and concrete that had been embellished with a black and white marble finish. On one side of the room stood Barry with his arms folded against the wall and his head resting on the impromptu cushion they formed. His breath came out in short breaths, a side effect of his running towards safety though the frantic hammering of his heart suggested otherwise. It showed that he was nervous and he asked himself how could he possibly not be giddy when he was trapped with a Goddess of beauty for who knows how long. He lifted his head up cautiously and turned it ever so slightly but at the sight of her drenched self he tore his gaze from her and faced the wall once more. Shutting his eyes, Barry tried, in vain, to control his speeding heart but with the presence of the darkness induced by his lack of sight the image of her burned fervountly in his imagination, allowing him to clearly see each perfectly drawn detail of her curvaceous figure.

His heart beat picked up, fueled by the arousal based adrenaline, and his wind pipe seemed to contract becoming smaller which each ragged breath he took.  
* _Not this. Not now._ * he pleaded just as his chest began tighten.  
On the other side of the anonymous deceased, stood Iris. She, too, was in the process of regaining her breath but her attempts were glazed with a certain amount of grace and finesse. Her arm was out stretched in front of her, the hand facing up and the palm pressed into the cool wall. The other hand resided on her hip, a gesture that spoke of her inner sass.  Her eyes were closed and her head bowed, moving only due to her short intakes of breath. Rain droplets dripped from her curtain of hair that hung forward obscuring her flushed face. The sounds of the storm echoed through their sombre sanctuary and in the moment of calm Iris seized to opportunity to try to make sence of what was happening inside her.

Try as she might she couldn't bring herself to conjour up a single instance from her past in which she'd ever felt an emotion akin to the one that consumed her at that very moment. Each fleeting thought last a little under a second before it was replaced by the image of the strangers sea green eyes. The world around her seemed to change and Iris found herself comparing the vibrancy of the earths colours to the mixture of hues depicted in his stare. No patch of grass could be that green, no drop of ocean that blue, no ray of sunlight that golden. The sound of painful heaves broke through her thoughts and she turned her head towards the sound to find the young man reduced to a helpless pile of desperation on the floor. His chest rose and fell violently and his wild eyes formed perfect orbs, distress was clear in his gaze. The creamy lightness of his skin was tinted with a feverish redness, signalling his ongoing struggle to breathe. With her mind trained to remain calm in the presence of panic, Iris rushed into action. In four short strides, limited by her wet skirt that clung to her hips, she reached the poor boy's side and kneeled next to him.

"Hey, it's OK. You're alright. Calm down. Just breathe." She prompted, her voice taking on a softer tone that, till then, had been reserved for caring conversations with her grandfather. With no trace of her usual hesitation or need for personal space, she placed her hand on his shoulder tenderly and scooched closer.  
"Come on. You can do this. Close your eyes and listen to my voice. Just breathe." Barry obeyed and let the sweet sound of her voice wash over him like the rain that still fell outside with no promise of retreat. Unbeknownst to him, his body was reacting to her, listening to her, almost as if under the throws of a witches spell.

"Breath in," she instructed and his lungs willingly expanded, allowing the air to fill them.

"Good. Very good. Now try to hold it." His air passages closed, but not in an uncomfortable way. Rather in a calming manner that reintroduced his limbs and organs to the presence of oxygen.

"That's it. Now exhale gently." came her delicate coe and all at once his body allowed the air to rush out, a sensation that can only be discribed as liberating.

He began to regain control, as she repeated her prompts and he obeyed without protest. Her hand left his shoulder  to push back a single strand of damp hair and he turned towards her touch, his eyes languidly fluttering open. Somehow his cheek ended up nestled in the soft palms of her hand. Palms that had seen nothing but the most luxurious moisturises for 16 years. His gaze traveled along the path of her hand, seeing the glow and softness of her skin that his hand dared not explore. Though he did not realise it she was inspecting him too. Each pair of eyes traveled up the length of the others body as they acquainted themselves to eachothers silhouettes.

The firmness of his chest was made more apparent by the moist condition of his clothing.

Her unsupported breasts showed through the flimsy material of the blouse that had become almost transparent with the introduction of water.

His flustered face was returning to its original hue and his tempting pink lips rested partially open.

Her chocolaty skin seemed to beg for his touch and her voluptuous red lips were like a beacon drawing him in.

Their wondering eyes neared their final destination. His cheek, her cheek. His nose, her nose. His cheek bones, her cheek bones. Then all at once the universe dissapread as their eyes locked and they're gazes remained still. In hers he found the warmth he had been looking for his entire life. In his she rediscovered herself in a way she could never have imagined. Lured in by the curiosities contained in eachothers stares, they unconsciously began to lean into eachother. They drew closer and closer and closer. The distance decreased, their heart rates soared. Their eyes fluttered shut. Their lips met.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ask and you shall receive!  
> Hey there shippers 😍 I see Au is picking at your interest bone and I am here to deliver. This chapter explores alot of conflicting emotions and I am sorry in advance if it gets a little confusing. I will gladly clarify any doubts you have after this and any other chapter 🙈💜💜
> 
> Little word of advice (for those of us who really can't wait) if you have Wattpad you can check the story out in advance there. This was my Wattpad exclusive and they're about three chapters ahead of you right now 🙈😂💜
> 
> OK. Enough said let's get to the good stuff. Enjoy 😍 and...do I really need to warn you about the cliffhanger? I'm assuming you already know. 😂💜💜💜
> 
> Ship-ya-later 😍  
> XOXO  
> 💜🖤

A meeting of the lips, a subtle peck, a tender show of possible affection. That's all it was at first but that was not all it was meant to be. The rain became a distant worry as their ears rang with the almost perfect silence that seemed to take over. It was like something out of a dream or a well crafted movie scene. Barry's previous distress seemed to melt away and his lungs no longer ached with the need to breathe. The entirety of his nervous system was suddenly possessed by an unfamiliar need for _her_. That hypnotic stranger with her spell binding eyes and addictive lips took over all his sences, seducing him with an infatuation so forceful that it seemed almost impossible.

The butterflies inside Iris seemed to have fluttered away and her body and mind were working through an array of emotions and sensations simultaneously. An influx of stimuli so magnanimous that the over all effect was all consuming. She was deeply confused because for the first time in her life she had no idea what was happening inside her. From a very early age she had to learn how to control her emotions and act according to them in order to avoid getting hurt. Control meant power and power meant that nothing could ever hurt her. Yet there she was, with her lips pressed against a total stranger and her mind in such a state of disarray that she couldn't tell her left from her right.

_Pull away!_ , came the small whisper from inside her but something else had taken over. An instinct she hadn't quite realised was there. Something raw enough to be considered premitive yet intricate enough to be the product of human intelligence. It was a sensation made up of a perfect blend between passion and comfort. Between animal like desire and warmth. Between the physical and the spiritual. Her body obeyed this instinct and its need to get closer to him so without breaking their kiss she lifted herself slightly off the ground and threw her leg over to the other side of him before sitting back down, straddling him in the process.

The scent of her floral perfume invaded his nostrils like a toxic fume yet he couldn't find the strength to pull away. Instead his hands found her petite waist and pulled her closer. She gasped at the strength contained in his grip, parting her lips momentarily. Desperately yearning to taste her, his tongue darted into her mouth and instantly intertwined with hers. The action became more brutal, more emphatic, as they both began to submit to their desire for a connection. Iris leaned into him, pressing her chest to his and barely recognising her famished self. Barry's hands travelled south, cupping her plump derriere and giving it a forceful squeeze. She moaned and a chill ran through him.

_What is she doing to me?_ he asked himself. He was usually a complete gentleman and generally shy. He would never invade a woman's privacy like that, nor dare to touch her without her expressed consent. Yet with her he felt a sort of possessiveness, a drive to have her, hold her, explore every inch of her. Like she belonged to him and he to her. He was losing himself to a sinful darkness that he could never have imagined rested within his romantic heart. He didn't recognise the beast that was erupting from his usually prince like self. It was terrifying yet oddly exciting and as much as he told himself to stop, his body wouldn't obey.

They were both losing control. He of his innocent and gentle nature. She of her emotional walls and dominating demeanour. She held the key that freed his inner savage from its moral cage and he had the power to make her want to fall in love. They were equally helpless against eachothers charms and unaware of the power they held over the other. It was, in a way, a perfect balance. An encounter between two needy souls where one had exactly what the other needed. A sort of paradox: a situation that at first glance appears to make no sense yet when further analysed contains the deepest of  truths. A truth about the laws of attraction. A truth that both Barry and Iris were just beginning to comprehend as they lost all sence of who they were before the encounter.

They could both feel themselves slipping away. The essence of what made them,  _them_  seemed to be climbing up a steep heel with each stolen breath and pleasure filled touch. Getting closer and closer to a precipice from which there was no return. The end drew nearer and as the distance decreased, their fear increased. Their heart rates spiked and then suddenly...   
They both came up for air. Their eyes were still closed as they readjusted, bringing their minds back to the moment. Their breaths where strained and harsh, a clear indication of their exertion. The sound of the rain came back into focus, roaring louder than before. Simultaneously, yet without planned intention, they opened their eyes and faced eachother. For the longest of time they merely stared. They stared in an attempt to gather some sort of gurantee that the other person was in fact real. That it wasn't all just a dream or a mere hallucination brought on by grief.

Barry reached out his hand tentatively, driven by a need for reassurance, and placed it on her cheek. She gasped, just as shocked by his touch as he was by the feel of her. Her eyes widened in astonishment. It was all real. His touch was tender, loving and that scared her. It scared her because it went against everything she ever believed in. It disproved every theory and conclusion she'd ever drawn regarding life and love. That sort of human emotion, in her mind, was dangerous because there was only one way in which it could end: heartbreak. Not even those who lived a long life together could escape it for as nature would have it one of them would perish first and the other would be left to wallow in the misery of living without their beloved till that loneliness ultimately consumed them and they too were forced to take their last breath. Love was an eternal prison disguised with an illusion of choice and made pretty with beautiful words and romantic gestures. It was a prison that she promised never to be locked in again. A prison that she saw in the dephts of his eyes.

Ironically enough, to Barry, the key rested in hers. The key to unleashing this great mystery that gave the noblest of men their strength and made the most villainous of evils tremble. The key that would unlock the door to a world of ever lasting joy, of inexplicable beauty and total completion. In her he found what he had been looking for, what he had been longing for: love. The sort of love that gave him the courage to risk everything. The sort described in ancient poetry and tear inducing lyrics. The only emotion capable of healing any shattered soul and freeing any helpless mortal from the chains of mortality itself. In her. In him.

In each other, they found a basis for love.

Once again her heartbeat quickened. Fear washed over her like a tsunami drowning out all forms of reason and replacing them with an impulse to flee. He felt her aura change, her eyes grew wild and she began to hyperventilate. The moment was breaking and as afraid as he was of what she ignited in him, he was even more afraid of losing her. He opened his mouth to say something, anything that might help him track her once they parted but before he could get a single word out she leaped up from his lap and ran. She stopped for a brief second at the entry way to take off her heels before she darted into the rain. He ran out after her, going as fast as his long legs could carry him but she was faster. Her chest flooded with relief as she reached her car. She was soaked through and would probably catch a cold but she didn't care. Her only concern at that moment was getting as far away from the unknown boy as she possibly could. Before it was too late.

Iris stepped into the vehicle and turned on the engine. A last glance out her window showed a blurry image of the young man standing a few feet away from her. He was still, just observing her, and although she couldn't see his face she knew that those haunting green eyes were pleading for her to stay. In deed they were but he knew that there was no use in running after her anymore. So he simply watched, helpless, as she drove away and out of his life forever.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK so I'm delayed with the latest chapter of Frozen Hearts. I'm super sorry. I've been ill this week so typing has been a struggle but Au is still available and I'm sorry to those who have caught up on Wattpad 😭 I'm working on it I promise. 💜
> 
> This chapter has a slight psychological base to it but the rest is kinda made up so please don't quote me on it 😂💜 I tried to add an image that I put together to give you a visual of the theory that is depicted in the chapter but it isn't working so I'm sorry for that. 🙏🏾💔
> 
> Again. You know the drill if something gets a little confusing let me know 😉 I'll explain it 💜💜
> 
> Enjoy! 😍💜  
> XOXO  
> 🖤💜

The rain beat down on him with no mercy but Barry didn't seem to care. He walked the five block distance to the apartment, completely drenched and with a blissfully oblivious smile on his face. He'd stood in that rain for an hour simply looking into the horizon with hopes that the melanin coated beauty would return and run into his arms. He had no such luck. As his standing in the down pour alone pushed forth questions regarding his sanity, he began to walk in the general direction of his apartment building. The streets were deserted and the sun had just begun to set. The weather was dipping towards cold but Bartholomew was warm from the inside out so he barely shivered.

_Who is she?_

_Where does she come from?_

_Will I ever see her again?_

_Do I ever want to see her again?_

He kept asking himself and his mind was a whirlwind of doubts and hopes that refused to be silenced. Yet deep down, he was scared. He was down right petrified. Never in his short and uneventful dating life had he felt a fire burn inside him so intensely. He'd never craved any woman as much as he did her and that terrified him because in that moment he lost all notion of himself. He forgot who he was, who he wanted to be and who he was meant to be. An animal escaped from the hole it had been buried in, drawn out by something about her, with in her, that called to it. Barry recked his brain for an explanation. For a reason why he felt the way he did. Why that demon existed within him without him having any knowledge of it yet no explanation surfaced. Subconsciously however a memory played out.

Him as a young boy chasing after a helpless pup one stary night many summers ago. The frightened creature backed itself into a bush and Barry reached out for it. He was angry, he was hurt, he'd just been moved into a home where no one talked to him or stayed around him for long periods of time and all he could do not to cry was lash out at the world in any way possible, including terrorising poor defenceless creatures. At his last attempt at a grab the pup fought back, sinking its tiny yet sharp teeth into the meat of Barry's hand and he howled in pain. Tears sprung into his eyes and he retreated, holding his bleeding hand as he ran back to the house he was meant to call a home. That night he was tended to, spoken to, held and shown sympathy and something inside him shifted. From that day on he refused to be consumed by anger or hatred. Instead he smiled, he helped where he could and he was always ready to offer a comforting hug.  
So why now, that he had finally found a girl he was inexplicably attracted to, had all his aggressive tendencies resurfaced? How was it possible that he could feel two conflicting emotions simultaneously, both hope and fear? Happiness and emptiness? Love and anger? He turned the keys in the door and opened up the apartment while in a state of total confusion. He stepped inside with a saddened smile on his face and shut the door behind him.

...

Leaning against the recently slammed door, Iris was wide eyed and breathless. She'd driven like a race car driver, under dreadful conditions and with her heart nearly escaping through her throat. The floor beneath her bare feet was cold and quickly becoming a watery portrait painted by the rain droplets that still fell from her soaking wet body. She shivered though it was still unclear whether from cold or fear and as she closed her eyes her mind took her back to the events that occurred in the cemetery. A warmth filled her heart and she sank to the ground. Tears streamed down her face and mingled with the rain drops already on her cheeks. She was confused and emotional and craving the strangers touch. Seeing him panicked, on the mausoleum floor had stirred up a side of her long forgotten. A whisp of an emotion fleetingly coursed through her, an emotion she'd oppressed for so long that it's sudden rise had left her too weak to fight off her tears. An emotion known as affection. The simple act of caring for another.

That kiss had shattered through all her walls, broken each and every layer and left her emotionally naked and exposed. That's why she ran, because she'd lost control. Because the feeling of his hand on her cheek had made her soft inside with a longing to press her head against his shoulder and let him protect her. That's when memory kicked in and the pain of each and every instance of abandonment she'd ever gone through drenched her in a  piercing shower of ice, extinguishing the fire he had ignited. She ran towards safety, towards the isolation that for so long had kept her free of heartbreak. Yet as she cried on her bedroom floor, in her chest she felt a longing to be with him. A longing to know his name and hear hers pronounced in his voice.  
_You're pathetic_ came the voice from within her mind and she screamed, picking her self up and stomping towards the nightstand from where she picked up a lamp and hurled it towards the wall. Her defence mechanisms kicked back in and once again the heartless shell of a human took over. She striped herself of her soppy clothes and stepped into the shower, washing away any residual form of weakness that still lingered.

Both parties were confused. Both fighting an inner battle with themselves. Both trying to stablize emotions that, much like hyper active chemicals, had been activated to form a dangerously reactive solution. A perfect example of the theory of infinite love.

Imagine that who you are, resides in your heart and who you let the world see resides in your mind. In your soul, both heart and mind are connected and reside in a state of harmony. This creates a balance between the ultimate truth and a lived truth in order to form a personality that is both true to who you are but adaptable, circumstantial and influenced by experience. Your personality then becomes a tool for surviving in a world where rules are made, broken and changed with varying consequences and little time to dwell over them. Trough it all the minds main aim is to protect the heart by whatever means necessary, whether it be by becoming completely socially acceptable to avoid rejection or by putting up a wall against society and completely ignoring all its rules and regulations.

Barry chose the former and Iris the latter. Barry became a humble, sweet and basically good person to garner affection and prevent rejection. Iris shunned the world that seemed to shun her and created an outward persona that had left her prone to isolation but gave her control.  
In essence her mind called to his heart and his mind called to her heart. Thus, with the balance within them connecting both mind and heart and each aspect of one's personality calling to the other, they formed a sign of infinity. The junction in the middle, that had drawn them together and made this possible, is love. They were not yet aware of it but in that brief moment in which their lips touched their souls exchanged a message that they had found their other half. They were linked, indefinitely by a force neither could understand nor fight. The theory of infinite love.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So 😍 Frozen Hearts is one chapter away from closing and so my focus on Au is increasing. For the Wattpad readers I will update Chapter 9 within this week so fear not! 💜💜
> 
> For you, my darling AO3 readers here is Chapter 7. Hope you like it 😍💜
> 
> XOXO💜

* * *

 

"Dude, what the hell? Are you trying to get sick?" Cisco questioned looking worried, puzzled and annoyed. 

 

"Cisco. I think I'm in love." Barry announced his features indicating that he was clearly dazed. Cisco silently regarded him for a moment, trying to understand whether his roomate was joking or accidentally high (because Barry was to straight an arrow to voluntarily or willingly consume any illegal substance, the man barely drank).

 

"Barry? Did you hit your head on the bakery sign again? I think you may have a concussion," Cisco suggested while still staring at the disoriented figure with an uncertain expression. 

 

"She had the most beautiful brown eyes, and her skin? It...it smelled like honey and she was so soft. So soft," Barry reached his hands out into the air as if he were touching an invisible person that only he could see and Cisco raised his eyebrows in skepticism. 

 

"OK Gene Kelly. Now that you've gone out and danced in the rain let's get you into a warm shower." Cisco grabbed hold of Barry's hand and pulled him towards the bathroom. 

 

"I swear it's like living with a child," he mumbled under his breath when he closed the door behind him on his way out. 

 

The shower sprayed hot water on to Barry's back, warming his frozen limbs and relaxing his muscles. Slowly he began to come down from his cloud of infatuation and as he got closer to becoming his usual self again he grew increasingly frustrated. He was still trying to comprehend what force had controlled him when he was with her but that was a struggle that he was unfortunately never going to fully understand without the help of a trained eye. You see to some degree, Barry was aware of the emotions he had pushed down during his child hood. The pain over having lost his parents so suddenly, the anger at the world for having taken them away, the paranoia that sprouted from the fear of being alone. 

 

However, what he failed to realise was that somewhere during the formation of his gentle, loving and warm persona he had caged all negative emotions, refused to feel them, pushed them down and forgot their existence. Amongst those emotions was lust. A feeling branded by society as shameful, as a sin, and yet it was an undeniable part of human existence. This was the very part of her that Iris embraced. Having done the exact opposite she let herself be driven by all her anger, and insecurity and paranoia leading to a personality that was cold and borderline narcissistic. Like opposites they attracted eachother, however they also triggered those hidden emotions buried within one another. For him the negativity resurfaced as lust, as an untamable desire to physically dominate her. For her he triggered longing, a need to be close to him, to emotionally connect with him. To love him.

 

She closed the taps of the shower and wrapped her damp body in a towel before stepping out. With a soft thump, she sat on the bed, the mattress sinking beneath her with a silent protest. Once again her mind brought back the image of his eyes and slowly her body came to life as it relived each instance of their kiss. The taste of his lips, the feel of his hands on her skin, the desperation in his embrace. She felt her sex quiver with need and did the only thing she knew was true to who she was: took measures to ensure that her carnal needs were met.

 

"Well Bonjour there madam," came Eddie's voice from the other end of the phone. Her predatory nature kicked in, rebooting her system and shocking her back into her old self.

"How fast can you get here?" she demanded.

 

"I'm on a flight back from Paris babe, I..."

 

"I need you," she whined, knowing exactly what to say to get her way.

 

"Babe..." he started.

 

"Please," she whispered seductively and that was all it took.

 

"We're landing in 20 minutes. I'll be there soon after." he answered.

 

"I'll be waiting," she flirted then ended the call. With her body moisturised and perfumed, she waited in nothing but a satin robe (what seemed to be her casual attire of choice). She heard the door bell and a devilish smile crept over her rosy lips.

*Sepcial delivery* she thought and stood up to take her place at the foot of the bed. The door opened and in walked a flushed Eddie, his breaths quick and short.

Confidently, Iris un did the belt around her waist and shrugged the piece of clothing off her shoulders. It fell to the ground, pooling around her feet and as expected Eddie merely stared back at her naked body in awe.

She walked over to him, slowly, incidiously and once infront of him she shoved him against the closed door and attacked his lips with hers.

No words of greeting were exchanged, no "welcome home" nor "I missed you". No pleasantries expressed for they were not lovers, merely two people engaging in a natural and necessary act of pleasure. Yet, something felt odd. His hands no longer sent chills down her spine, his lips no longer made her shiver with desire, his thrusts no longer took her over the edge. She derived no pleasure from the act and thought of no one else but the stranger through out the entire ordeal. Iris didn't feel any better. Instead her longing only grew, leaving her empty and cold inside.

 

"Hold me," she asked as they laid side by side on the massive mattress beneath soiled sheets. The man's surprise reflected in his blue eyes. It would have been normal for her to kick him out, she'd gotten what she wanted and that was all he ever was to her, an object to be used and discarded. He never fooled himself with fantasies of where he stood with her no matter how much he may have wanted to. The heart ache would be too great.

 

"What?" he expressed his puzzlement with out disguise and as a response she drew close to him and curled up to his side.

 

"Hold me," she repeated then added, "Please."

 

A flutter erupted in his chest and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and drew her close. Daringly, he pressed his lips to her head and a sigh escaped her. It wasn't the embrace she was seeking but it would have to do, and so she drifted off to sleep. She awoke with a knock on her door. The afternoon had given way to night and she was somehow dressed and alone.

"Come in," she croaked and an apologetic Linda stepped inside.

 

"Excusez-moi Madame, you are late for your meeting with the share holders, I've postponed as much as I could, should I cancel?" Linda asked and Iris simply stared at her blankly.

 

"Est-ce que tout va bien madame (is everything alright)?"

 

Iris felt herself grow teary eyed with out any explanation as to why. Swallowing the lump in her throat she answered,

 

"I'm not myself today Linda, apologise to the gentlemen for me and reschedule the meeting. Any other day will do."

 

Linda nodded and turned to leave but looked back in concern and asked:

"Is something wrong?"

 

Iris shook her head 'no' but answered:

"I don't know Linda. Je ne sais pa."

 

On the other side of the city a warmly dressed Barry sat before the TV with a steaming cup of tea and a saddened expression. On the screen Tony courted a blushing Maria and he felt him self sigh. In his minds eye he was Tony but he was still in search of his Maria. She was his Maria, his leading lady in his very own romantic musical.

"Where are you my love? Who are you?" he whispered to himself as he watched the scene unfold.

 

"West Side Story? Seriously? Haven't we had enough musical moments for one day?" Cisco asked, though his tone lacked its usual sarcasm.

 

"You should have seen her Cisco. She was breath taking. Like an angel, like a...a muse. An angelic muse," he marveled. 

 

"An angelic muse?" Cisco chuckled,

"That's the cheesiest thing I've ever heard." He teased with a hint of sympathy and Barry simply sighed. His heart had been captured by a girl he might never see again and the thought of living out his life without atleast knowing her name made the coming years look grim.

 

"Alright Romeo, put away the exasperation and go get ready. We need to go or we'll be late." Cisco patted his shoulder.

 

"You go a head I'm staying in." Barry informed.

 

"Nope. No can do big guy. It's a shareholders meeting and Dr Snow requested that we all be there. I am not gonna be the one to tell her that she couldn't make a perfect impression because you got struck by cupids arrow at the cemetery," Cisco said as he reached for the remote control on the couch and turned the TV off. Once again Barry sighed, only this time it was in defeat.

 

"There you go," Cisco patted his back as Barry dragged himself over to his bedroom and got dressed. He was feeling hopeless, like all his dreams no longer had meaning and his existence lacked all worth. Like nothing in the world would ever be exciting again unless and until he met her again. The possibility seemed unlikely but as fate would have it, he would see his 'angelic muse' once again. Sooner than he thought. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taking my sweet time with Frozen Hearts. I want the final chapter to be utter perfection. 😭
> 
> I'll be out of your hair for about a week so here's a little Au in the mean time to keep you busy. My Wattpad readers, Chapter 9 is up and ready for your curios eyes 😍💜 as always cliffhanger warnings apply. 
> 
> Enjoy this little breath of air before it gets hectic 😘💜
> 
> XOXO  
> 💜💜

S. T. A. R. Labs was a perstine establishment. Nothing but the latest technology and state of the art equipment. Barry and Cisco walked in with their passes hanging around their necks and flustered expressions. They were fifteen minutes late, cold from the rain and already dreading the lecture they would get from Dr Snow.

She wasn't a bad woman she just ran a tight ship and everything had to be precisely as planned or else her brain short-circuited and anyone responsible for the anomily would feel her rath. They power walked down the corridor, both running short of breath. After a quick turn to the left they stopped dead in their tracks for down the hall waited a stern looking Dr Snow with her arms folded and  an expression that communicated how far from amused she actually was.   
Their strides slowed in pace but were still urgent as they closed the short distance to the inevitable.

"You're late," she said shortly and Barry offered her a goofy smile.

"We're really sorry. I'm really sorry, it was all my fault, I...."

"Enough Allen," she silenced him. "To your luck the meeting has been moved. Ms West, one of our newer shareholders, seems to be ill and the shareholders, thought that given the circumstances it would be best to post pone the meeting." She explained.

"Wait for are you saying we didn't actually have to be here?" Cisco pitched in with an annoyed expression that he soon retracted once he saw the dangerous look  on Dr Snows face.

"Get to work before I use you as human test subjects," she snapped and turned on her heal to walk away. Barry felt a sudden burst of anger boil up within him but he knew better than to lash out so (as he always did) he breathed it back down and put a smile on his face as made his way to his work station.

The night seemed never ending and he couldn't bring himself to focus on his work because * _she_ * continuously invaded his thoughts. He wasn't the only one who was having uncontrollable thoughts. After waking up alone Iris couldn't find sleep. She rolled around in her bed for hours to no avail and eventually decided that she needed to have some fun. Then she walked into her closet and realised that the usual feeling she had, the excitement over a night out, the need to look breath taking and sexy, the adrenaline rush at the prospect of living dangerously and flirting with random strangers, it wasn't there. That feeling was but a distant memory. She walked over to her mirror and looked at her reflection.

"What is wrong with you?" She asked herself.

"Why are you acting like a helpless and emotional bimbo with no back bone? Because you met some dreamy eyed stranger who's kiss is about as orgasmic as any other man's touch?" she challenged.

"Well I'm not gonna lay there and see you destroy the shell you've built over some love sick puppy of a boy who probably couldn't tame you if he tried! You are Iris Anne West and you will forget about this imbecile if it kills you!" She commanded herself and before she lost her gumption, Iris stormed out of her room to meet with Linda.

"Linda!" she called and her conserned assistant came running.

"Oui madam?" she asked.

"Get Leo on the phone now! I need a party planned for this weekend for 200 people. While you're at it tell the driver to get me some meds, I'd hate to catch a cold. Let Leo know that I need the invitations done by tomorrow, not personalised this party is only semi private. Dress code is all black." She listed and poor Linda typed frantically in order to keep up.

"Uh ma'am, pardon my asking but, would it not be too soon? Your grandfather was just buried in the early hours of this morning, no?" Linda pointed out and for a moment a quiver of guilt fluttered through her chest but as soon as it came it was gone and her steel exterior returned with a vengeance.

"I have no grandfather Linda. Elvis West lied to me and so from now on I am simply a person who bares his name and nothing more," she said coldly.

"Now see to it that the party is arranged. I'll be waiting by the pool when the medication arrives," she instructs.

Meanwhile, back at the lab, Barry was trying to analyse a suspicious looking substance when Patty walked in.

"Hey Bear." She greeted cheerfully and Barry looked up at her and smiled.

"Hey Pat, what's up?" he asked.

"Oh, you know, clouds and air and the ozone layer. The usual." she fumbled over her words, unable to retain eye contact with him. She was always so shy around him and he found it cute. It's one of the reasons why he considered her one of his greatest friends.

"I meant with you Patty." he clarified and she gave him a goofy chuckle.

"Right. Sorry. I'm...uh....good. I'm good. How, how are you?" she stuttered.

"I'm great Patty," he lied with a smile then right after asked,   
"How can I help you?"

"Help me? Oh right! Sorry, uh Caitlin needs someone to deliver these documents to the West estate. Some sort of mix up with the mail and they got sent here." She answered while handing him a large, yellow envelope. He took it and read the address, it was atleast a twenty minute drive away.

"Great. I'll get right to it. Oh and tell Dr Snow that I'm taking the van." He said and Patty looked at him with a dumbfounded expression.

"You, you, you, never take the van." Her stutter worsened, a clear indication that she was either confused or nervous.

"Yeah I know but I got trapped in the rain today and I might be getting sick so walking this distance in this chilly weather wouldn't be a good idea. I'll bring her back tomorrow OK?"

"But, but, but..." he offered her a kiss on the cheek before she could finish that sentiment and set off. Barry was changing. He might not see it but those around him were slowly starting to take notice. They just didn't know why as yet.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there shippers!
> 
> I won't lie to you, typing has not been a dream this week. I've had the worst block! But all the bad juju is gone now so here's an update. My fellow Wattpaders you, too, will be getting a new chapter a little later on today so just hang on tight ❤️
> 
> I can't thank you all enough for the patience you've had with me. I trully do appreciate it you are all stars!! 🌟🙏🏾
> 
> Now on to the good stuff. Cliffhanger warnings apply 😊💜
> 
> XOXO  
> 💜🖤

 

 

It was mid evening when Iris lowered her self into the heated, indoor pool. Instantly, her muscles began to relax and she closed her eyes, willing herself to forget what had happened. And she just about managed except for one, tiresome detail. The shade of green that encompassed the strangers eyes. Once again she found her thoughts trailing off to deep and dark places. Conjuring images of romatic nights filled with candle light and picnics beneath the stars. Picturing his arms around her as they swayed in time to a slow tune. Delusionaly savouring the taste of his pink lips. Her thoughts became so vivid that she could almost sence his presence, as if he were standing in the room or somewhere near by.

And he was. Iris might not have been aware of it but her body was drawn to his and it senced his presence when he stepped out of the van and walked into the ellustrious building.

"Qui es-tu(Who are you)?" a petite Asian woman asked. She was pretty and her hair was up in a bun that was casually held in place by chopsticks. She scrutinised him suspiciously through her spectacles, making him uncomfortable enough that he took a step back.

"Uh, I think you just asked me who I am, in which case, Hi I'm Barry Allen and my knowledge of French ended after my last year of high school so..." he offered her his hand and when she didn't take it he fumbled around with it for a while before deciding that it would be best to simply rest them at his sides. The drive had proved to be immensely therapeutic and he was slowly easing back into his old self. That is until he stepped inside the grandiose structure with its high ceilings and marble tiles. Something about the place called to him and gave him that eddgy, firy sensation he'd felt earlier that day, he just couldn't quite put his finger on what it could possibly be.

"So Mr. Allen. What can I do for you?" she asked in an audibly superior tone, her accent undeniably pronounced.

"Right. I, um. I have some documents here for a Ms Iris West. There was a bit of a mix up at the..."

"Hand them over." she cut him off sternly and he shut his mouth immediately, cautiously handing her the envelope he had come to deliver. She snatched it away from him and turned on her heel, walking away without a second glance in his direction.

"Au revoir monsieur Allen. You can show yourself out." She called out over her shoulder while going up the stairs, her hips swaying a little too seductively in her black pencil skirt.

"You're welcome," Barry whispered under his breath as she dissappeared into the top floor. Normally he would have listened to her orders and taken his leave but something inside him begged him to take a closer look. His curiosity was at it's peak, for some odd reason, and he couldn't fight it off so he just gave in and looked around. The place was intimidating and large. Everything from the floors to the decorations sparkled with a glass like fragility that made him petrified of touching anything. The doors seemed antique, but the kind that was well kept to the point of looking new and all the knobs and fixtures were polished to perfection.

Barry shoved his hands inside his pockets as he roamed around, navigating his way towards the back of the mansion. A pair of sand blasted glass doors stood infront of him and one of them was pushed in allowing him a partial view of a glorious indoor pool. Miniscule waves rippled in the stunningly blue water, looking inviting despite the cold weather. The giddy feeling at the pit of his stomach increased the closer he got to it and his heart began to pound so hard that he found it hard to catch his breath. Through the sandblasted image of a dancing mermaid on the other door, Barry could just about make out the silhouette of a swimmer on the other side. His heart began to pound in his chest as he got closer to the door.

"Qu'est-ce que tu fais(What are you doing)!" came a shrill voice from behind him and he turned around startled to find the petite woman from before rushing towards him.

"Linda? Qu'est-ce qui ne va pas (What's wrong?)" came a familiar female voice from inside the pool area.

"Rien madame. Ne vous inquiétez pas, j'ai tout sous contrôle (Nothing madam. Don't worry yourself I have it all under control)!" Linda called back as she pushed Barry back towards the main entrance.

"Are you crazy!" she scolded him as she opened the door and Barry hastily stepped out.

"I'm - I'm - I'm sorry," he tried to apologise but Linda slammed the door in his face and furiously clickidi-clacked away. Barry stood there for a minute and blinked. He had no idea what had just happened, what could possibly have possessed him to explore a strangers house.

"You're losing it man." He told himself as he took the short flight of stairs down and made his way to van. He shook the feeling off as he put the car into gear and sang along to the radio as he drove home, pushing the uneasiness to the back of his head. It had been a long day and all he needed was a good night's sleep. Or so he thought.

Meanwhile back at the West Estate, Linda helped Iris slip into a bathrobe after her swim and accompanied her to her room where the cocktail of medication awaited  
As they walked, Linda listed out the details of the party.

"Uh Snart will be here tomorrow morning to look at the space, the caterer has been booked - I requested the usual menu - and the invitations will be ready for delivery in the morning. Where would madam like them to be delivered?"

"Uh, five to STAR Labs, five to CCPN, five to CCC and the rest can be distributed amongst my usual guest list." Iris answered with the ease of someone making an ordinary grocery list.

"All elite or bearable guests only?" Linda questioned and Iris pasued for a second before answering :

"All elite. I'm probably going to be too drunk to notice anyway."

"Oui madame I will get right to it," Linda assured her as she turned on her heel to leave.

"Oh and Linda," Iris stopped her "Don't forget: no media."

"Ofcourse miss. Security will be reinforced and all camera like devices checked in with the coats." She recited and Iris nodded satisfied, before stepping into her bedroom to take a shower and get some sleep. It had been the longest day and quite frankly she was more than ready for it to end.

...

The next day both Barry and Iris woke up with a renewed sense of self. Her walls were at full capacity and his smile was ready to disarm and charm. The thoughts and memories they had of eachother were still there but they were more like distant voices rather than deafening cries.

"Bonjour madame West." Linda greeted as she came in to the dining room with her tablet poised neatly in her harm.

"Goodmorning to you too Linda. What's on my agenda today?" she asked while calmly sipping a cup of tea, her focus on the newspaper article she was scrowling through on her cellphone.

"Well firstly you have the meeting with the shareholders at STAR Labs and then your appointment with Snart. Also, Mr West has been calling. He insists that he has to see you."

Iris paused for a moment, her mind flodding with confusion as she tried to piece Linda's last statement together. A distant recollection of a tall man that looked very much like the younger version of her gr - Elvis bubbled to the surface of her mind and slowly things began to painfully fall into place. In a matter of seconds, her mood was foiled.

"What on earth does he want?" she scowled.

"He would not say miss. He simply insists that he must speak to you in person." Linda repeated and Iris set her cup down, suddenly annoyed.

"Well if he won't leave a message then I won't hear it. Quite frankly I have nothing to say to him. He's just a stranger I'm sharing my inheritance with." she threw her cloth napkin on the table and briskly stood up, clicking her way towards the stairs.

"Get the car will you Linda and tell the driver to set a course for the lab. I want to get this over and done with."

"Oui madame. Uh should I come along?" Linda asked after her.

"No that's alright Linda. I need you here making sure that the details of the party are taken care of. If Snart gets here before my meeting ends you already know the drill." Iris answered over her shoulder just as she reached the stairs and climbed them with a practised grace.

"Ofcourse miss." Linda said before excusing herself to get the car ready. Iris touched up her lipstick, dampened her neck with a little perfume then grabbed her hand bag and made her way back down towards the exit.

On the other side of the city Barry rushed out of his apartment with a slice of toast in his mouth and one arm still unsleeved by his cardigan. He'd woken up feeling slightly feverish and snoozed his alarm resulting in a (not so surprising) tardiness. He hopped into the van and sped down the street, driving like a complete maniac on a mission. The tyres squealed in protest as he came to a complete hault in the parking lot and in a frenzied rush, he ran towards the doors while haphazardly slipping on his lab coat. Just as he got inside, the elevator doors dinged shut and he cursed under his breath at his lack of luck.

Iris casually sipped from her on-the-go coffee mug as she waited for the elevator to take her to the intended floor. She was scrowling through her Instagram feed dismissively. None of the pictures were of any interest to her because there was nothing on them she envied. That is until she came across a celebrity engagement announcement and for some irrational reason her heart softened and a smile crept over her lips. The picture depicted a teary eyed actress with one hand over her mouth as her soon-to-be fiancé slipped the ring on her finger and made their relationship official and eternal. She found herself getting caught in the moment and walked out of the elevator absent minded. Rushed footsteps echoed towards her and she only realised once it was too late. She collided with the runner, showering them both with coffee.

"Imbécile!" she cursed as she looked down at her rapidly staining blouse. Infuriated she looked up and immediately swallowed her words as she came face to face with those familiarly haunting green eyes.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!
> 
> Ladies and gents I really trully am sorry about the delay with the last chapter of Frozen Hearts. I keep on trying to find the perfect way to end it and it just doesn't seem to be working but I'm trying I promise. If all else fails I'll consider Chapter 26 the last chapter (please don't be mad at me) 😩
> 
> Now on to Au. This story has been getting quite a few good reviews (one or two bad ones, can't please everyone) and I am so so so happy that you're all enjoying it so far! 😍💜 Thank you all for reading and for interacting with me it trully makes my day when I hear from you 😭😭💜
> 
> Now lets get down to business (I don't blame you if you started singing Mulan after that). Here's chapter ten. CLIFFHANGER warnings do apply!! And Wattpaders your update is up as well.
> 
> Enjoy!  
> XOXO😘💜

* * *

Their eyes met in a moment of recognition and disbelief reflected in both their faces. Barry opened his mouth to apologise but not a single word came out. He was much too stunned to speak. What on earth was she doing here? He kept wondering as he tried to make sense of the situation.  
Iris was in much the same predicament. Speechless, shocked and confused. Silently, they let their eyes travel down eachothers still figures, taking every feature in like body scanners. He was just as she remembered. Same green eyes, same disarmingly charming face, same innocent demeanour and most of all he was real. Lab coat and all. Completely real.

So was she. Barry felt his palm itch with a need to touch her. His eyes glazed over her perfectly shaped curves that were neatly (read tragically) tucked away in her rapidly staining blouse and black high waist pants.

"Ms. West?" came a voice from behind her, interrupting their stare-off and crashing them back into reality. Blinking away her disorientation she whipped around to find an auburn haired woman in a lab coat looking at her with partial concern. The name on her name tag was 'Dr Snow' and somewhere deep in Iris's puzzled mind she knew that this was the woman she'd come to meet.

"Oui? I mean yes?" she stammered. That was unusual. She never stammered. Dr Snow's eyes darted to Iris's blouse and she opened her mouth to respond but before she could utter a single word Iris cleared her throat and asked more forcefully,

"Where are your restrooms?"

Thrown off by her question, Snow blinked twice and simply gazed at her.

"Uh, th-this way Ms West." Barry offered softly, his nervousness taking over his shock. Snow also seemed to regain her senses and in a poor attempt at establishing authority she barked out.

"Yes Allen, show Ms West to the restroom then wait for her and escort her to the meeting room." The tone of her voice while she addressed Barry left a bitter taste in Iris's mouth but she restrained herself from snapping at the doctor. There was a time and place for everything and if the doctor were as arrogantly annoying as Iris pictured her to be then she needed to be put in her place in a much more public setting. Over the years Iris had learned that private settings allowed for a degree of intimacy and vulnerability making it easier for her opponent to best her. That setting was strictly reserved for threats and the ocassional business flirt. Public shamings seemed to be alot more effective when dealing with attitude changes, making of points or simple emposing of respect.

Her train of thought was derailed as they reached the restroom. Barry silently kept his head down, his demeanour timid, and Iris thought he looked cute. As she walked past him into the restroom she caught a whiff of his deodarant. It was a minty, cool kind of scent and she felt an urge to lean into him and take a deep breath but she contained herself (somehow) and walked inside.

Completely shaken and with her body desperately craving his touch, Iris attacked her innocent blouse with a tissue and only succeeded in ripping a few buttons from it. She turned to inspect her image in the mirror and she was an absolute mess. The front of her blouse was completely stained and enough buttons were now on the floor that her lacy bra was in full view. Irritated she screamed and Barry rushed into the bathroom to aid her. Upon seeing her state of almost undress he turned his back to her immidiately and stuttered,

"I'm - I'm sorry Ms West. I - I heard you scream."

"It's alright." She sighed out suddenly drained.  
"I'll just have to reschedule my meeting." she decided.

"No!" Barry yelled, louder than he intended to, while turning around to face her then turning back around flustered.

"I mean. Please don't. Dr Snow would have my neck." he explained.

"I can give you my lab coat. It suffered the least in our little accident. Might help cover the stain." Barry suggested while shrugging the white piece of clothing off of his shoulders. Something about the undressing nature of the action made Iris's body tense up. She was simultaneously aroused and afraid. She wanted to cover up her exposed lingerie and ask him to leave like a shy little virgin. But that wasn't her. She wasn't a shy little virgin. She was a woman who knew her worth and used her sensuous prowess to get what she wanted. She was a seducer, a preditor, a charmer. That's who she was, so when he came closer to drape the coat over her shoulders she stood her ground and faced him head on. That was a mistake.

His eyes bore into her and drew her soul out. She felt exposed yet safe, like she could trust him. He kept his eyes trained on hers out of respect and as a feeble attempt to control his inner urge to undress her and carefully desipher each riddle her body had to offer.

"Not to, uh, over step but already doing so. Um wouldn't it be best to take the blouse off?" he asked and when she looked at him surprised he rushed to add,

"Again I, don't mean to impose its just- the blouse is still wet so it might stain the coat, not that I mind the coat being stained. The coat is the least of my worries, but..."

She interrupted him with a chuckle and Barry's eye's widened at the sight. The smile reached her eyes and her face lit up, his heart skipped a beat. She was beautiful. With a smile still on her face she began to undo the surviving buttons on her blouse. Barry felt his face flush and averted his eyes though a different part of him was screaming for him to stare on. She cleared her throat, signaling that she was ready to be dressed and Barry allowed himself to gaze in her direction. With his eyes trained on hers, he helped her slip her arms into the lab coats long, white sleeves and pulled it over her shoulders. With the care of a parent tending to a child he reached for the buttons and did them one by one, concentrating excessively on the task to divert his mind from its indecent thoughts.

Iris was dumbfounded. She'd never had anyone besides a servant help her get dressed, not even as a child yet there he was. This stranger who barely knew her, caring for her like he'd know her all his life. Like he'd felt for her an emotion blossoming along the grounds of love. The moment was deeply intimate for them both and they were both comforted by the closeness despite the irrationality of the feeling.

"There. All done." He exclaimed taking a step back once he'd helped her into the garment. It fit her surprisingly well a little long at the arms and legs but nothing that a good fold and her heels couldn't fix. She regarded her image in the mirror once more and found it much more appealing the second time around. She was slowly looking like her old self, if she worked in a lab that is.

"Thank you Mr Allen." She said as she turned around to face him. As much as she wanted to adopt her boss lady persona around him for some reason she couldn't and instead of her usually cold expression she offered him a warm smile.  He smiled back, sheepishly, and Iris surprised both Barry and herself by leaning into him and planting a soft and uncharacteristically timid, thank you kiss on his cheek. Her warmth spread through him from their small point of contact and suddenly he craved more. More of her on him.

Something inside him snapped and when she brushed past him on her way out, his hand shot out to grab hers, stopping her in her tracks. Before Iris could protest she was pulled back towards him and pushed up against the cold wall. His lips came down on hers with a contaminating hunger that rendered her defenseless within seconds. The savage within him roared with satisfaction as he felt her give in to his advances. Craving for more, he cupped her face and deepened their kiss, further sedating an already disoriented Iris, then he let his hands roam down her body. His hands explored down her figure as thoroughly as a security card doing a body check. He measured the stretch of her shoulders, coming down from her neck to the sides then pulling his hands back to the center at which point they began to roam south. His fingers tickled her collar bone. Her breasts felt firm against his palms. Her waist dipped in, in the most tantalising of ways and her hips were perfectly round.

If Iris were coherent enough to think she wouldn't have recognised herself in that moment. She was completely bent towards his will, this strange boy with an innocent smile that turned out to be a hungry man with a devilish tongue. Her eyes remained closed when his lips left hers to venture down her neck. She was afraid that if she opened them she'd be trapped in a vertiginous world that spun as much as the inside of her head. But the darkness of sight was replaced with a heightened sense of touch, allowing her to feel each heated kiss and moan inducing lick. Her body responded to his in such a natural manner that it was as if they'd known eachother forever. Like a sensory memory being recalled and simultaneously rediscovered. She gasped as his tongue dipped into her cleavage and her hands responded by grabbing onto his hair. His taste buds came to life with the bitter taste of her spilled drink along with that ever present, subtle hint of _her_. His fingers moved towards the first button of the lab coat, wanting to decrease the fabric between them, desperate for more of her to taste.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A-hoy there shippers!
> 
> Here's another chapter of Au. This one goes out to all my feminists and lets get one thing straight, yes I am a feminist, no I am not radical to the point where I think all men are trash. Now that we've got that out of the way hope you all enjoy the chapter 😜💜
> 
> XOXO   
> 💜😘

* * *

~~~~"Ms West?" came Dr Snow's voice from outside the restroom, shattering the moment and clearing their minds of its lusty fog. Barry backed away almost immediately. It was as if she had suddenly caught on fire and burned him. He looked at her wide eyed, his face completely flushed and Iris was trying to fully regain control over her body. Dr Snow poked her head into the room.

  


"Ms West?" she asked yet again then upon seeing Barry there she yelled, 

  


"Allen! What on earth are you doing here?! I'm so sorry Ms West..."

  


"Its alright Dr Snow. Mr Allen was just lending me a hand. I asked him to come in. It seems my blouse is beyond saving so he offered me his lab coat." she explained, trying to keep her tone on a normal range. 

  


"I see. Once again trully sorry about that mix up, we'll do our best to replace the blouse." Dr Snow assured her. 

  


"That won't be necessary thank you. Would you give us a moment alone please Dr Snow? I'll be right out." Iris requested and Snow nodded before she left the room. 

  


Barry, who had been quiet the entire time, kept his eyes on the floor. He didn't want to risk summoning what ever demon had taken over him and made him attack one of his bosses like an animal on heat. 

  


"Do you have a first name Allen?" Iris asked, tentatively stepping towards him. He nodded and responded, 

  


"Bartholomew ma'am. But everyone calls me Barry." 

  


"Barry. I like it." she said, standing right infront of him but he still kept his eyes trained on the ground.

  


"Aren't you going to ask me what my name is?" she flirted. 

  


"I - I wouldn't want to impose ma'am." he stuttered and Iris laughed. How quickly he'd changed from a dominating beast to a scared little lamb. It seemed surreal. 

  


"I think after the way you just handled me asking my name is the least you could do." she said kindly. This new gentle aura that she seemed to be exhibiting was nothing like the Iris the rest of world knew. If she weren't so distracted trying to charm a bashful Barry with small talk, she might have realised it herself. She placed her fingers beneath his chin and lifted his gaze to hers. 

  


"Go on. Ask me." she said though it seemed less like a demand and more like a gentle request. 

  


"What's your name?" he whispered, suddenly mesmerised by her eyes. 

  


"Iris," she whispered then leaned in and planted a soft, lingering, good-bye kiss on his lips. They parted. She looked at him for a second longer then without another word she walked out of the restroom, leaving Barry confused, scared and guilt ridden.

  


Iris followed Dr Snow to the meeting room, still a little flustered by what had just happend between her and Barry, but the little exchange they had at the end restored some of her feeling of control and she was quickly getting her head back in the game. 

  


"Here we are Ms West." Snow announced. 

  


"Thank you." Iris said as she opened the door and walked inside. Casting her eyes around the room she felt like she'd just walked into a meeting of the patriarchy. The table was filled with white, middle-aged, heterosexual males with the occasional late twenty year old in training. They were all seemingly occupied either on their communication devices or reading the paper, none of them paid her anymind as she stood in front of the room. Iris cleared her throat loudly and the room slowly grew quiet. The faces around her looked confused, as if they were trying to place her there but couldn't quite find where she fit. At the opposite end of the table a tall man with a partially chiselled jaw and well kept hair looked up from his smartphone and said, 

  


"Sweetheart, be a dear and get me a coffee. Black, no cream, no sugar." 

  


Iris felt her blood begin to boil, her previous disoriented state forgotten, and with one violent movement she threw her hand bag onto the seat she was supposed to take, jutted out her hip and placed her hand over it as her other hand remained fixed on the chair. 

  


"You seem to have two working hands so get your own damn coffee." 

  


The man's face flushed with anger and he put down his phone. She'd finally won his full attention. 

  


"Who the hell do you think you're talking to?" He asked rudely. 

  


"I don't give a fuck who you think you are. But you sure as hell should know who I am." she answered just as forcefully. 

  


"I'm Hunter Zolomon you bitch. I'm the largest shareholder in this room." He countered cockily, standing up to try and intimidate her. Iris smiled triumphantly at him and folded her arms infront of her. 

  


"You mean second largest shareholder in this room because last time I checked Elvis West was the largest shareholder in this company."

  


"Sorry to burst your bubble princess but Elvis West is dead." 

  


"Well then I'm glad he left a will. I'm Iris West. Elvis's heir. Also known as, how did you put it? Oh right, 'the largest shareholder in this room'." Zolomon's mouth fell open, but he closed it soon after and took his seat. 

  


"Apologies Ms West, we weren't acquainted as yet I just assumed that...."

  


"Yes you just assumed that since I'm dressed in a lab coat, don't have a penis and don't see the perks of tanning lotion then I must be the coffee girl." 

  


The men around the table fell silent. 

  


"Next time don't assume Hunter. Get your head out your ass long enough to find out who your dealing with. A simple 'can I help you' would have sufficed." she lectured on. 

  


"I'm sorry." he said through gritted teeth. 

  


"No don't be sorry Hunter. Be careful. Now lets get this meeting over with cause I trully do not have the whole day."

  


The men all stood as she took her seat at the head of the table. Now this was more like it. 

  


"First and foremost Ms West, please accept our deepest condolences for your loss." said one of the older members. He had a kind face and seemed respectful. 

  


"Thank you Mr..."

  


"Garrick ma'am. Jay Garrick." 

  


"Thank you Mr Garrick. Gentleman I'm not sure if you've been made aware but my grandfather does in fact have a son but despite this turn of events, judgiging by the transfer of ownership papers that were delivered to my door yesterday, it seems he's passed the entirity of his shares to me. Now I'd like to make one thing clear right now. I may have trusted my grandfather's judgement with his finances but I am not him. For now the investments on behalf of the West's will remain the same until I get a feel for how exactly the funds are being used. If at any point I am convinced that changes need to be made then I will make them. Is that understood?" 

  


The men addressed eachother in puzzlement and one or two nodded, not at all a satisfying response. Iris grew irritated. 

  


"I'm sorry gentlemen but is there any part of what I just said that you need clarified?" she asked. 

  


"Ah yes Ms West, if you please," answered a mousey, boyish gentleman with round rimmed glasses.

  


"State your name and your concern please." she commanded like a sergeant in the army, but with a little less volume and aggressiveness. 

  


"Rathaway ma'am. Hartley Rathaway. We were lead to believe that you would be selling your shares. Todays meeting was set with the soul purpose of negotiation." he explained.

  


"I see. And who exactly lead you to believe that I would be selling my shares?" she asked and Mr Rathaway looked around seeming a little tongue tied. A strong jawed man with a 6' o clock shadow came to his aid. 

  


"What Rathaway was trying to say is..." he tried but Iris cut him off asking, 

  


"Pardon me and you are?" 

  


"Samuel Scudder miss." he answered. 

  


"Okay, do you mind if I call you Sam? I'm gonna call you Sam. Listen Sam, I asked Hartley a question and I would really appreciate it if you'd let Hartley answer. As much as I believe that we're all a team I also believe that individual competence is important and it would be highly incompetent of him to offer up such a ludicrous statement without knowing all the facts." She explained while rising from her chair, her muscles tense with irritation. 

  


"Now Hartley, if you please, who led you to believe that I would be selling my shares?" 

  


"I did." responded Zolomon, his finger tips joined to form a diamond infront of him. 

  


"Ah Hunter. Why am I not surprised. And where, may I ask, did you get this piece of information?" She asked then, without waiting for a response, added, 

  


"Or was this another one of your brilliant assumptions?" Zolomon remained quiet and simply stared her down. Iris felt her last shred of patience burn out but tried to keep a neutral tone as she said,

  


"Well truth be told I had intended to wash my hands of this lab but this meeting has proved to me that I am clearly needed around here."

  


Hunter Zolomon began to laugh. A hearty, husky sound. 

"Well that's rich. Why on earth would we need you? We've been doing perfectly fine without you." He stated. 

  


"You wanna know why you need me?" she challenged, then began undoing the buttons on the lab coat. She pulled the garment open, her bra on full display, and placed her hands authoritatively on her waist. 

  


"This is why you need me," she addressed the open eyed crowd with an air of cool confidence, almost as if her exposed chest were as normal as pens in an office. 

  


"Because I've got something, that you don't have." she added. 

  


"What? Boobs and a few more millions?" Zolomon asked arrogantly.

  


"Try a few more billions, and a brain that can still function with the presence of the opposite sex." she countered. 

  


"Our brains are working fine and you're here. Half naked might add." he challenged. 

  


"Doesn't look like their working fine to me Hunter. Half this room is trying discretely not to look at me, the other half is blatantly staring and to top it all off when I mentioned something you don't have you're first thought was boobs." She faced him down head on. 

  


Hunter Zolomon opened his mouth to respond but Iris beat him to it. 

  


"Don't try to fight me Zolomon. I don't back down from a challenge and I'm a sore loser so I make sure that I always win." She walked towards him slowly, circling the table like a lioness stalking her prey. 

  


"I'm smart enough to out scheme you and rich enough to buy you out. And if that weren't enough..." she paused for effect infront of him, bent down to meet his eyes and placed her hands on either arm of his chair, simultaneously trapping him and allowing him a full view of her cleavage. Iris leaned into him and whispered in his ear, 

"...if that weren't enough, I'm a woman and that's a superpower in its self."

  


She heard him catch his breath and knew that she had him right where she wanted him. Point made. 

  


"Well then gentleman," she said as she straightened back up and walked back to her place in the front of the room while buttoning up the coat. 

  


"Are there anymore rumours that I need to straighten out or anymore objections to my keeping my shares?" she asked and a collective "no" echoed through the room. She smiled, pleased at the improvement in response and said,

  


"Well then I guess this meeting is over. I look forward to working with you gentlemen. Now if you'll excuse me, I must get going." With that, Iris grabbed her handbag from the chair and walked out of the room, her every step commanding attention and screaming power. She was making her way to the exit when she heard Dr Snows raised voice call out, 

  


"Honestly Allen!"

  


The mention of Barry's name peaked her interest and she migrated towards the sound to investigate. 

  



	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did somebody order some Joe with a side of love struck Barry and a little Iris being naughty for dessert?💜💜
> 
> Well then here you have it 😂💜 
> 
> Enjoy your meal 😍💜

* * *

Barry stood in the bathroom like a hypnotised puppet. A marionet under the control of a charming enchantress. 

 

Iris

 

Her name rang through his mind like a delicate melody from one of the musicals he so loved to watch. Subconsciously, he let his fingers glide over his lips as he lost himself in the memory of their second encounter. His heart beat a little faster and he closed his eyes in an attempt to make the memory more vivid. She felt so warm against him, so deliciously delicate and sweet. A wave of arousal washed over him as he recalled the way she tasted, the way she smelt, the sound of her voice. 

 

A frightened yelp followed by a confused voice asking, 

"Barry?" broke him out of his trance. He opened his eyes, startled, and immediately felt his face flush with embarrassment. 

 

"Wh - What are you doing here?" a flustered Patti asked, her own face flushing for reasons unknown. 

 

"Sorry Patti. I - uh - I was helping one of the shareholders. Accidentally spilled coffee on her and she had a meeting, you know, long story." Barry tripped over his words while side stepping her on his way to the door. He had no intention of making the exchange last any longer than it had to. 

 

"Anyway, problem solved. I'll - uh - I'll see you around OK? OK, bye," with that he left, not bothering to wait for her response. His long legs took quick but lengthy strides down the corridor as he made his way back to his lab. He needed a little sanctuary, something familiar to bring him back into himself. Stepping into the lab he was greeted with a sense of relief that unfortunately was briefly lived as Dr. Snow was impatiently awaiting his return. 

 

"Dr Snow, can - can I help you with something?" he stutterd and in his mind he yelled at himself to get a grip. 

 

"Allen? Do you have any idea what your clowning could have cost the lab today?" she asked calmly. Her arms were crossed over her chest and her face was set in a coldly stern expression, a Dr Snow classic - the rigid bitch look. 

Barry cast his eyes on the ground in hopes that his humbleness would soften her frosty, possibly non-existent, heart. He had no such luck. 

 

"Answer me Allen!" she screamed, slowly losing her composure. 

 

"No ma'am." he responded without looking up to meet her eyes. He felt like a little boy in the principals office being scolded for putting glue in the teachers hair (something he had actually done at a younger age and been much less remorseful about). However, somewhere beneath all his good manners and seemingly soft nature, his old friend 'anger' knocked fervently on the door, demanding to be let in. 

 

"I didn't think so." Snow spat. 

"Honestly Allen! The West family own the largest amount of shares to this lab which means that if she says jump we say how high while our feet have already left the ground! You could have jeopardised an alliance that has kept this lab afloat for a little over a decade!"

 

"I'm, I'm sorry." he stuttered. 

 

"Sorry? Sorry doesn't cut it Allen! Why are you even here? You sit in this lab all day toying around with your chemicals and never produce anything of value. You're always late, your head is in the clouds half the time and you can barely get our coffee orders right!"   

 

"I'm actually close to a break through...." he tried to defend himself but Snow cut him off. 

 

"I don't give a damn about your breakthrough. I'm a woman of science I work with evidence and substantial theories, not dreams and fairy dust! I've had it with your shenanigans. Pack your things and get out."  she instructed. 

 

"But..."

 

"I said out Allen!" she screamed. 

 

"You're not going anywhere Allen." Iris countered, stepping out from her hiding place behind the door, and both Barry and Snow turned their attention towards her. Iris stood with her hip out and her arms crossed. Her stance mirrored Snows but had a certain level of sexiness and grace that the frosty doctor lacked. 

 

"Ms West, I was just-" 

 

"Terminating this young man's employment? I noticed." Iris cut her off meeting Snow with a cold on par with her own. 

 

"I -" 

 

"Don't bother trying to explain yourself. I haven't the time nor the patience for your excuses and quite frankly I don't really care. Mr Allen return to your post and from now on any and all terminations must be put through me first. Is that clear?" Iris spoke with a tone reserved for people in a position of power, a tone that demanded obedience without question. Yet Snow, who had a taste of what it was like to be in such a position, seemed to not be getting the picture. 

 

"Pardon me ma'am but such a mundane task is beneath you. Employee matters should not ... concern you miss." she treaded carefully but with underlying hostility. 

 

"Economically, I basically run this place which means that all matters, even the most mundane of them, concern me. Now stop waisting my time and do as I say." she instructed while turning around to make her leave. 

 

"But -" Snow called after her. 

 

"Good day Dr Snow." she called out over her shoulder as she exited the lab. Caitlin Snow was left dumbfounded, her eyes were bulging out of her face and her mouth hung open. Her shoulders were, for the first time, slumped forward in defeat and Barry couldn't help but smile in silent thanks to Ms West. A shuffling behind her broke her out of her state of shock and Dr Snow turned around to find Barry walking towards his station. 

 

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she asked, slipping back into her chiefly persona. With a smug smile Barry answered,

 

"I'm asking how high."

Iris (who had strategically hid outside to witness how the story unfolded) smiled at his response. Her job there was done so she walked towards the main hall, satisfied. Back in the room Snow's milky skin grew red in frustration and with an insulted huff she stormed out. Cisco stepped in just as she left and narrowly avoided being run over by the fuming train. 

 

"Woah. What'd ya do to have her that worked up and how are you not fired?" he asked and Barry laughed. 

 

"I bumped into an angel." He said. Cisco rolled his eyes and sighed. 

 

"Oh brother. Not this again." he exclaimed and slumped down into his office chair. 

 

....... 

 

The cream-white Bentley parked infront of the mansion's main entrance and the driver opened the door for her. Her eyes never leaving her cellphone screen, Iris stepped out of the lavish vehicle and made her way inside. Her heels announced her arrival and Linda came rushing to her side. She was pink in the face, a clear indication that something was not right, but Iris was too preoccupied to notice. 

 

"Linda. I need you to personalise an invitation for me," Iris stated as she walked towards the stairs.

 

"Uh, mademoiselle..." came Linda's weak and worried voice but Iris appeared to not have heard a peep. She started up the stairs while still giving out orders. 

 

"Then get S. T. A. R. Labs on the phone and ask for any information regarding a Barry Allen. Have the invitation delivered to his address." 

 

"Mademoiselle West..." she tried again and yet again her cry went unheard. 

 

"Oh and any update on Snart?" Iris asked stopping midway up the stairs to finally face her assistant. 

 

"Goodness Linda you look like you've seen a ghost what's wrong?" she asked and Linda opened her mouth to answer but a male voice responded instead. 

 

"I believe Linda's unease is partly due to my presence," Joe West announced and Iris looked over her assistant to see her grandfather's son standing at the door to her office. At once her body tensed, her shoulders rolled back and her face was set on a stern expression. She was preparing for battle. 

 

"Thank you Linda that will be all. Please make sure that the invitation gets delivered by today," Iris instructed coolly as she weaved around her assistant and calmly descended the stairs. 

 

"I don't think invitations will be necessary, and regarding your planner I dismissed him when I got here." Joe clarified and Iris froze mid step. She felt her blood begin to boil, anger bubbling just beneath the surface. 

 

How dare he! she thought but was determined to remain composed. It was essential that she studied her enemy first before deciding on a plan of attack and the only way to gather enough information was to abide by the ancient saying and keep her enemies close. She took a deep breath to steady her emotions and offered him a mediocre smile. 

 

"Mr West can I offer you a drink?" she asked, trying to hide the tension in her voice. 

 

"No thank you I won't be long Ms West. I just came to discuss the will with you and found out that you plan on throwing a party. This would be highly inappropriate given the circumstances, I do not approve. I did think about coercing you into cancelling but seeing as how I met your event planner when I got here I took matters into my own hands." He explained while standing casually with his hands in his pockets. Iris laughed. Hysterically. A loud and incredulous guffaw. 

 

"Forgive me Mr West," she finally spoke while trying to catch her breath. 

 

"I'm afraid I've given you the impression that I am a person who is easily persuaded and moreover that you are in a position to do the persuading," she continued between chuckles. 

 

"Well I..." Joe tried to explain but Iris wouldn't let the man get another word in. 

 

"With all due respect Mr West, you and I are nothing more than strangers sharing an inheritance so what you do and don't approve of me doing is none of my concern. As for the will you can handle it as you see fit, as long as I get my share I don't much care for the old man's last words. Now if you'll excuse me I have an event to plan, I trust that you can see yourself out."

 

Joe opened his mouth as if to say something but seemed to think better of it and closed it once again. He looked at her for a moment, a flash of what looked like curiosity and pain registered in his eyes for a brief second before he offered her a silent nod and made his way out. Something about the look he had just given her made Iris uneasy and a shiver ran down her spine. Her gut told her that it wasn't the last she'd seen of Joe West but she pushed that unsettling feeling down and whipped around to face a still present, Linda. 

 

"Linda, get Snart on the phone..."

 

"He's already on his way mademoiselle." Linda offered her a flustered smile and Iris smiled back, her assistant's efficiency helping her recover from the shaky encounter. 

 

"Merci Linda, (Thanks Linda)" she smiled back. 

 

"De rien Madame (you're welcome madam)." Linda answered before adding. 

 

"Pardon my intrusion mademoiselle but uh...the lab coat?" 

 

She regarded Iris with a quizzical look and Iris looked down to inspect the garment. She'd completely forgotten that she had it on. A light bulb went off in her mind at that moment and a devilish grin creeped over her features. 

 

"It's nothing I got some coffee spilt on me that's all, uh Linda, are the none personalised invitations here?" she asked. 

 

"Oui madame, they're in your office." Linda responded. 

 

"Perfect. Don't worry about getting one personalised and get Mr Allen's address for me. I'll deliver that invitation myself." Iris grinned while making her way back up the stairs to her room, her body re-energised at the prospect of seeing him again.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick side note, unrelated to the story 😂  
> If you guys and gals ever want to get a hold of me and find that Wattpad and AO3 aren't quite working I'm also on insta - twitter and tumblr. Drop by for a convo, leave your suggestions or if you really need to rant about the show (or anything else) and one comment isn't enough, we'll I'm all ears 💜💜 all handles are ShipersAnonymous so it shouldn't be that hard to find me 😘💜
> 
> Be back next week with another update (well I'll try) 😂💜
> 
> Enjoy your week everyone  
> XOXO  
> 💜💜


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there everyone!
> 
> So, I know this chapter has taken longer than usual and I apologise for that. I was taken ill and it took longer for me to type but it's here now and my dear wattpadders your update awaits you too. 💜💜💜
> 
> I'm not sure how many of you have read the fic Her Worst Nightmare by dysfunctional_scribe but that fic has had me all over the place for a little over a month now. Its inspired me to write a similar fic and I've started (much to the happiness of some of my friends). I wasn't sure about sharing it but a few of you shippers seem to want a peek at what I have up my sleeve so at the end of this chapter I'll post a snippet of what I'm working on and I'd really like to hear your feedback.
> 
> I highly recommend the original fic, though be warned its not for the soft of heart. 😅  
> OK enough said. Let's get down to the good stuff.   
> XOXO  
> 💜🖤

* * *

Giddy. Nervous. Butterflies. That's what Iris felt as she sat at the back of the car with the file containing Barry's information on her lap. It was a new experience for her. She never felt nervous. The only time her heart beat that fast was when she was either angry or aroused. This nervousness was different. It was a form of anticipation, a need to see him. To be held by him. To have him want to hold her and never let go. To make him be as nervous as she was. The more she tried to shake it off the more she realised that she didn't have any control over it. That unsettled her further. The car stopped at a red light and she watched the hustle and bustle of the city outside the window. 

 

Her hand subconsciously stroked the folder, as if he would somehow feel her caress wherever he was. Before she got it he was just a face with a name. Barry Allen, the green eyed hottie from the cemetery. Somehow learning more about him like where he lived, who he lived with and what his passions were made all the emotions she'd been trying to ignore real. He wasn't just a realistic fantasy anymore. On the contrary he was fantastically real. When she sat by her vanity and touched up her make up in preparation for their meeting, her grand plan was seduction. She wanted to finish what they'd started in the miniscule restroom. Her curiosity was sensory, she wanted to know what it would feel like to take him all the way. To let him explore her, inside and out. But as she sat in the car waiting for the light to turn green and drawing nearer to her destination, that plan seemed to fall out of focus. It was as if the folder were a blurb to a book she couldn't wait to read. Now her curiosity was emotional, a want to get to know him on a personal level. What made him smile? What made him tick? What was his favourite colour? What type of woman was he into? Did she fit that mould? 

 

Those were the questions rambling through her mind. 

 

She opened the folder for what must have been the fifth time and read through his job application form. At the very bottom was the question, 

"What do you hope to achieve at S. T. A. R. Labs?" 

His reply : "To discover the impossible." 

She smiled as she read over it, she'd practically memorised all the information on that form but seeing it all written down made it more concrete. She was confused, a little scared that she didn't understand what she was feeling but also inexplicably happy. The light turned green and she was once again in motion. Her heart beat quickened, she was getting closer. The driver stopped outside a moderate looking building. The paint on the building was chipping and darkened by one too many rany days. The streets were packed with parked cars and the sound of children's laughter echoed through it on occasion. It wasn't a lavish neighbourhood but it was brighter and more full of life than hers. However, that was to be expected because her estate was located miles away from civilization.

The driver began to leave the vehicle so as to open her door for her but Iris stopped him, 

 

"That's alright John, I'll get it myself, I just need a minute." She said softly and he silently complied. 

 

Iris took a deep breath, preparing herself to go in, but her hand froze on the handle when she spotted Barry across the street walking into the building with, who she assumed was his roomate. He was smiling and his eyes sparkled with the action, making him a little more charming than she remembered. She waited for him to go inside then sat back in the car seat and stared at the ground. For the first time in 16 years she second guessed herself. She wondered whether delivering the invitation in person was the right choice. Closing her eyes against the turmoil of emotions stirring within her, she took deep breaths and pushed it all down. It took a lot of will power but she managed to calm her self and only then did she return her hand onto the handle of the door. With one final reassuring nod to herself she opened it and stepped out of the car. 

...

 

"Dude, whatever drug it is that you're taking you seriously need to stop." Cisco warned as he unlocked the door to their apartment and walked inside with Barry following behind him. 

The love struck scientist had a concrete smile on his face and raved about Iris all the way back to the tiny apartment. 

 

"You should have seen it man. I've never seen Snow that disoriented. Not even when Ronnie switched the chemicals for her first presentation." They both laughed. 

 

"Man, she did not look good with singed eyebrows. I'm so glad they grew back. Taking her seriously was a nightmare." Cisco exclaimed, while filling a glass with water for himself. 

 

"But hey, Ronnie was doing it to get her attention so you never know. Maybe this mystery lady of yours has the hots for the frost monster." Cisco took a sip from the glass and walked over to the sofa.

 

"Her name is Iris OK? And I don't think she's interested in Snow. Not after the way she kissed me today. Well I kinda kissed her first - but she kissed back. You get the point." Barry answered and Cisco stopped mid drink. 

 

"Wait a second, you kissed the shareholder of shareholders?" He asked sceptically and the blush that spread over Barry's face was all the answer he needed. 

 

"Duude! How the hell did that happen?" he asked, not like a frat boy looking for details to get himself off but rather like a friend confused and concerned at his roomates sudden change in behaviour. Barry was the type to hold doors open for girls and trip over his words the minute they offered him a compliment. Kissing a girl, as powerful as a shareholder, in a place he holds as sacred was way out of character. 

 

"I... I don't know. I just saw her there and we were so close and she smelled so sweet and I just, something inside me just pushed me towards her and before I knew it we were all over eachother. It was surreal."

 

"OK mister. No more "The Notebook" for you." Cisco said, turning back around in his seat, still highly confused but chalking it up to chance. 

 

"I don't know Cisco. I'm starting to believe that not everything we see in the movies is a lie." Barry said and Cisco scoffed with an eye roll. Seeing that he wasn't going to be able to convince his friend, Barry gave up and walked towards the corridor. 

 

"I'm gonna go take a shower," he announced. 

 

"Have fun! If you see another goddess scream, I'll come save you." Cisco called out after him and Barry shook his head and chuckled. 

 

Cisco heard the water go on and Barry's stellar vocals echoed towards him. 

 

"Oh brother. He's gonna be a while." he mumbled to himself and turned the TV volume up. A few minutes later a knock sounded at their door and Cisco eyed it confused. 

 

"Who is it?" he asked, as he looked through the seeing glass and was even more baffled when he saw an attractive young woman waiting on the other side. He opened the door without waiting for an answer and took her in. His first thought was Did Barry order a striper? She stood infront of him, supposedly wearing nothing but a lab coat and heels. Yet, upon further inspection he decided otherwise. She had a certain quality about her, an air of rich poise and grace. Definitely not a stripper. His eyes landed on the name embroidered on the lab coat and widened with realisation. That was Barry's lab coat so this must be Iris. He put two and two together, and though the proof was right infront of him he was taken a back by disbelief. 

 

At first she seemed just as shocked and shaken as he was, but something inside her flipped right before his eyes and her entire demeanour changed. She smiled at him, flirtatiously. Not in a way that suggested they get a room together but rather in a commanding sense that told him to obey without question. She took one step inside, despite the lack of invitation to do so, and was standing right infront of him. 

 

"Cisco is it?" she asked, having memorised his name from the information Linda had managed to aquire. He nodded, too shocked to speak, a rare feat for he always had something to say. 

 

"Do me a favour will you?" Iris slipped a $100 bill into his hand and said,

 

"Go out and have some fun for a few hours. My treat." 

 

As realisation dawned on his face, his eyes widened further in wonder. The trouble she must have gone through to get their address, learn his name and drive all the way here to bribe him out of his own apartment for a few hours with Barry? Had the world gone mad? Barry's singing stopped and Cisco blinked out of his own thoughts. He cleared his throat, growing increasingly uncomfortable and (as her smile would have had it) obeyed without question. 

 

"Sure thing. Uh Thank you. Make yourself at home." He answered before he grabbed his coat and keys and left. For all he knew she could have been a serial killer on the hunt for her next victim and he had just signed his friends death certificate, but Cisco found that hard to believe. The conspiratorial look she had given him suggested a danger of a different kind. 

 

....

 

Barry toweled himself down and briefly dried his hair before stepping out of the tub. He was happy, not in his usual way but with a little something extra. He couldn't explain it but he hoped the feeling never faded. He knew that it was because of her, Iris. His face flushed at the mere thought of her, he was like a teenager with a raging crush on the schools resident socialite. Barry took in his image in the foggy mirror, from his wet hair to his goofy smile and for no particular reason he started to laugh. 

 

"Iris." He said, conjuring up her image in his head. 

 

"You're so beautiful, and fiery and sensual and..." he hit a blank.

 

At that exact moment Barry realised that he didn't know anything about her. Besides the fact that she was gorgeous, rich and commanding, he really didn't know who she was. His heart sank at the thought. Suddenly all the happiness faded and the goofy smile slipped from his face. He was in love with a stranger. That's all she was, a beautiful stranger. He sat at the side of the tub, his shoulders slumped in defeat. What was he going to do? How was he going to approach her? Sure he knew where she lived but he couldn't just barge in there and demand to speak to her. And even if he could what was he going to say? 

 

"I know you're my boss but I really like you and would like to take you out on a date"?

 

He sighed. One look into her eyes and he'd barely be able to reintroduce himself. Then there was the issue of his little perverted friend that crawled out of him everytime she so much as brushed up against him. It was like he lost control of his own body and all he could think about was how to make her scream with pleasure. The blush on his face deepened at the thought and he quickly shook it out of his mind. 

 

"Get a grip Allen." He told himself, standing up and facing the mirror once again. He'd have to come up with a plan, but for now there was nothing he could do but fantasize about seeing her again. About being her Prince charming and whisking her away into the sunset. About being the Don Lockwood to her Kathy Selden. The... 

 

Barry walked out of the bathroom and heard the main door shut. 

 

"Cisco?" He asked and was met with silence. Unphased he shrugged it off and assumed that what he had heard was just his roomate probably going out for takeout. That is until he entered his bedroom and found both his lab coat and an invitation with his name on it neatly resting on the bed. His eyes widened and his senses came to life. If the lab coat wasn't sufficient evidence the sent that lingered in her wake was enough of a confirmation. She had been there.

* * *

 

**Tears She Shed**

"Home". The word feels foreign. She hasn't felt at home in a long time. Not at the loft, not in their bed, not in his arms. Especially not in his arms. Those arms that at first enveloped her and swept her off her feet into a dream. That saved her time and time again and kept the monsters at bay. Now he is the monster and out of all the nightmares she's faced and could have possibly pictured herself facing, this has never been one of them. It's by far the worst. They pull into the parking lot and she feels her heart sink to her stomach. The drive wasn't long enough, she's still not ready. He takes a deep breath beside her and her eyes begin to well up before he lays a single finger on her. She wants to apologize, to explain that she couldn't wait for him any longer, that to keep Scott waiting for another hour would have been unprofessional but she knows better. She knows that saying anything before he speaks will only make matters worse. So she sits silent and unmoving. Her throat grows scratchy from the effort of holding back tears. Maybe if she behaves this time, if she pretends like she isn't even there he will let her be. As if hearing her thoughts, he opens the door and gets out, slamming it in his wake.

* * *

 

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there shippers!
> 
> So sorry that the chapter is late but I think you might like this one. It's longer than my usual chapters and digs into some of the issues that will be resolved through out the story. I hope you all like it. The revelation might come as a surprise to some though I think most of you have put it together by now. 😂😂💜
> 
> I just wanted to give you a heads up that I'll be offline this week so your next chapter might be a little late and my responses to your comments will be delayed but I promise that I'll be back before you know it! ☺️💜
> 
> Have a great week and enjoy the chapter everyone 😊❤️
> 
> XOXO  
> 😘💜

Her breath came out in short huffs and her heart raced in her chest as she slammed the car door shut. She hadn't been able to do it. Going into his room, being in his personal space without his knowledge, it all felt wrong somehow. Like she was violating his privacy. When she sat down on his bed and looked at the picture of his younger self beaming out at her while being crushed by two people who she assumed were his parents she knew that she'd made a mistake. She shouldn't be there. That's when Iris started hyperventilating and panicked. She left the lab coat and the invitation on his bed and rushed out like the intruder that she was. For reasons she couldn't quite explain, tears began to form in her eyes and she blinked fast as the car pulled away. Looking back she saw him tumble out of the building and look around frantically. He was looking for her. 

Barry noticed the expensive vehicle pulling away but didn't run after it. Partly because he knew it would be a useless act and partly because he fully intended to see her again. He had made up his mind about going to the party despite his fears that he might not exactly belong in her world. It was a necessary discomfort. He had to see her again. To talk to her, get to know her, prove that his love wasn't just infatuation nor unfounded. Prove that she was in fact his soul mate. 

 

The rest of the week seemed to tic by at a snails pace as the young lovers waited anxiously to be reunited. On the long awaited night Iris received her guests with a jovial sparkle in her eyes: a consequence of her nervous afternoon drinking. She wasn't tipsy but she was a little happier than usual. Eddie was one of the first guests to arrive and she kept herself entertained with her boy toy while she waited for her main man to arrive. 

 

Minutes turned to hours and soon not even the copious amounts of champagne were enough to make her ignore the feeling that something was missing. 

 

"Excuse me gentlemen, despite your near perfect behavior I do believe that my lipstick is in need of reapplying. I'll be right back," she flirted before leaving behind a group of well dressed men who shook their metaphorical tales after her like "good boys". Iris couldn't surpress the impulse to role her eyes as she walked away towards her bedroom to reapply her make up. It was a much needed recess from all the smiling and greeting and hosting. She slumped down infront of her vanity and took in her own miserable expression. This was meant to make her happy not make her feel like she was stood up at prom. 

 

"Pull yourself together West," she told herself with a quick reminder that all she needed was concrete, un questionable and fulfilling pleasure. Emotions were for the weak, for children who still had a life ahead of them to discover the bitter truth. 

A knock at her door brought her back from her depressing thoughts and she blinked away the tears she hadn't realised were forming in her eyes. 

 

"Come in!" she shouted over the rumble of the music and chatter and Eddie walked inside. 

 

"Hiding from your guests?" he asked as he approached her and placed his hands on her bare shoulders.

 

"No. That would be rude, you know me better than that," she smirked at him. 

 

"Then what on earth is a gorgeous woman such as yourself doing all alone in her room with so much great company out there?" 

 

_The company I'm waiting for isn't here._ She thought but responded, 

 

"Just reapplying my make up. I can't afford to look washed up in any of the photos." 

 

Eddie walked around to her side and kneeled beside her. She felt his fingers trail around her chin to her cheek and gently turn her head so that she faced him. 

 

"Well don't bother with the lipstick," he said, his face so close to hers that his breath tickled her lips. She watched as he leaned in, the scene familiar but the emotions connected to them foreign. She no longer felt attracted to him and she expressed this by turning her face away. 

 

"Like I said. I can't afford to look bad for the camera," she stood, straightened her floor length dress and prepared to leave. 

 

"Have I done something wrong?" Eddie asked, looking completely baffled. 

 

"No, ofcourse not. I'm just tired is all. Between the funeral and the party plans its been a long week. I just want to let loose for a while. Forget the world exists," she lied. Unfortunately for her, he wasn't one to back down easily so he walked towards her, pulled her to him by the waist and grinned. 

 

"Well why don't you let me take your mind off of things?" he asked flirtatiously. 

 

"Maybe later OK?" she answered unamused and pecked his lips before sliding out of his embrace and leaving the room. Puzzled once again, Eddie blinked away his confusion and followed behind her. 

Iris straightened her back and prepared to plaster her most convincing smile on to her face when an emerging image stopped her dead in her tracks. 

He was finally there. 

 

Dressed semi-formaly in black skinny jeans and a blazor Barry fumbled with his hair and adjusted his glasses. In his hurried attempt at getting ready he'd lost one of his contacts and had to bring out his specks or risk bumping into things the entire night. It took him a mere minute to spot her at the top of the stairs and just like that the air rushed out of his lungs. 

She was dressed in a body hugging, floor length white dress that shimmered with sequens beneath the light. Her shoulders were left bare by the lack of straps and her clevage accentuated by the sweet heart neck line. A slit that ran up to her mid thigh allowed for a provocative glimpse at her toned leg, a feature she unknowingly emphasised as she desenced the stairs to greet him. 

 

"You came." She said in a tone of voice that was a little more high school than she intended. He simply stared at her. 

 

"Are you alright?" she asked, a wrinkle of worry grazing her brow. 

 

"You look beautiful," he blurted out without thinking and his face flushed immidiately after. Iris chuckled, finding his blush adorable. Almost as if all the alcohol she had consumed through out the night bubbled to her head, she gained a meter of courage that replaced the butterflies in her stomach and made her brave enough to grab onto his hand. 

 

"Dance with me," she told him while taking him with her to the hall where the dance floor was situated. The live band slowed things down and Iris stopped right in the middle of the floor. Couples began to pair up around them and she smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck and stepped closer. The proximity finally jolted Barry out of his dream-like state and he wrapped his arms around her nervously. 

 

His hands rested just above her waist and they swayed in tune to the slow melody. They were dancing chest to chest and her heels allowed her just enough height to whisper in his ear :

"Come on Barry, you know your hands can go lower." 

 

His eyes widened and his cheeks burned with her request but he obeyed none the less and shifted his hands down a tad. Just enough so that they now rested on her waist. 

 

"Lower," she whispered, so close that he could feel the heat of her breath on his neck. His heart began to race in his chest and he lowered his hands yet again, this time they rested just above her ass. 

 

"Lower," she whispered once again, this time planting a kiss on his neck, just below his ear. A pleasant shiver ran down his spine and like a well trained pet he answered her request and slid his hands over her derriere. 

 

"There," she whispered planting yet another kiss on his ultra sensitive neck. 

 

"Isn't that better?" 

She nibbled on his earlobe and he shuddered. Gazes were being cast in their general direction but the sultry lovers were too deep in their own sexualy charged world to notice, though they probably should. Iris's new found confidence was nothing like the giddiness she'd felt during her failed attempt to surprise him at his apartment. Some would blame it on the bubbly, she thought that it was a matter of power. He was in her turf now and she called all the shots.

 

Barry knew he was in trouble from the second he laid eyes on her. He didn't belong there and he knew that but somehow holding her in his arms made him feel at home despite his nerves. The song ended and the crowd began to disperse, Iris gave Barry a whispered command for him to follow her and without question he let her take his hand and lead him to the office. She opened the door and ushered him inside before closing it and turning around to face him. He stood there, with a face as innocent and surprised as that of a lost toddler and something about his little pure act turned her all the way on. 

 

"Uh - Ms West. Sh-shouldn't you be with your guests?" He stuttered. He could feel the turmoil happening within him between his usual angelic self and the beast that fought to be released. As always it frightened him, making him even more nervous than usual. 

 

"Oh come on Barry, no one will miss me, they're all too busy having fun to even notice." She answered in a tone so seductively low that Barry instantly felt his pants tighten. She walked over to him slowly, like a cheetah prowling before her pounce. 

 

"Will you do me a favour Barry?" She asked, taking a few final steps and eliminating the space between them. 

 

"Sure Ms. West." he whispered uncertainly. 

Iris leaned in and slowly slid the glasses from his face as she whispered, 

 

"Say my name." 

Her champagne infused breath tickled his lips and he opened his mouth to answer but she was too close for him to muster the courage to speak.

"I -" he chocked and at that exact moment the doors burst open and Eddie stormed in. 

 

"What the hell is going on here?" He asked enraged and Iris let her head fall in annoyance. 

 

"What do you want Eddie?" She asked without masking her irritation. 

 

"I want to know why the hell you're in here smothered against some nobody!"

 

"Watch it," she snapped her voice dangerously low. She turned to Barry and offered him an apologetic smile. 

 

"Excuse me Barry, I'm going to step outside to handle this. Don't go anywhere," she finished her command with a wink and Barry simply nodded his response. She pulled Eddie outside and stared at him, anger hidden in every corner of her face. 

 

"Is that why you've been acting so weird towards me?! Did you find yourself another pet?!" He yelled. 

 

"Listen to yourself Eddie. Honestly. You just admitted to being my pet," she pointed out and he opened his mouth to answer but closed it upon further reflection. He was making a fool of himself. 

 

"I never once fooled you into believing that what we had was more than just pure fun and I have never implied that we should be exclusive. Now if you'll excuse me, I have better things to do then stand here and explain the dynamics of our none existent relationship to you," she explained before walking past him towards her office. His hand wrapped around her arm and he pulled her towards him. 

 

"He'll never be man enough for you. He's a kid, he doesn't have what it takes," he said before forcing her up against the wall and slamming his lips on hers. At that precise moment Barry stepped out of the office to see if she needed any help and upon seeing the other man kiss her, his inner darkness was unleashed.

For every other person and in every other instance in his life he'd been able to surpress his emotions, his mind was strong enough to fight of his urge to lash out but not with her. She was his and he was hers and the possibility of losing her was too great, the pain too painful, the heart ache too intense to be ignored. 

 

Emotion won over rational thought but his anger permeated through him in waves of chilling calm. He didn't give her a chance to explain, he simply walked up to them, pulled them apart and landed a single blow to the other man's face, rendering him unconscious. Iris watched wide eyed and stunned. He turned to face her, with fury still burning in his eyes, and slammed her up against the wall. Her mouth flew open as she gasped with the impact and he swallowed her protest by crashing his mouth to hers. He kissed her deep, rough and hungry. His hand traveled down her waist and with their lips still pressed together he kneelled down slightly, hooked his hand on her knee through the slit and lifted her up. His fingers caressed her exposed thigh and a soft moan escaped her when he grabbed a hold of it and squeezed. Suddenly he broke apart from her, teased her cheek with his lips then pressed his lips to her ear and in a flirtatious tone he whispered "Iris."

 

She shivered at the sound of her name on his voice before he abruptly dropped her back onto the floor and simply walked away. 

She was left dumbfounded and staring after him in stunned confusion. She hadn't realised it as yet but he had just left her with an unquenchable yearning for him. Given her a small dose of his venom, not enough to satisfy but enough to get her addicted. 

Barry slammed the door behind him, scaring Iris out of her daze and once she managed to partially regain her coherence she ran out after him. 

 

"Barry! Wait!" she shouted but he had just stepped into a cab that had inconveniently just dropped some of her guests off. She screamed, her night was completely ruined. Thunder rumbled in the distance, expressing her emotional state and to make matters worse she noticed a familiar figure storm out of a car and march up to her in angered determination. 

 

"Iris Anne West what on earth is this!" Joe shouted as he climbed the short flight of steps to reach her. 

 

"What does it look like Joe? It's a damn party!" She yelled back. Iris was not in the mood to deal with him at that moment so she turned around to walk back inside but his hand closed around her arm and stopped her. 

 

"I explicitly told you that a party this close to the funeral was unacceptable! What were you thinking?!" He carried on his lecture. 

 

"You know what? I've been man handled one too many times tonight so if you don't let go of me right this instant I will land you in hospital." She threatened, not intimidated by the man's large size. Joe let go of her arm and sighed out frustrated. 

 

"I know that you don't know me but we are a family and this, it doesn't look good for you. I'm just trying to save you from people's assumptions. I know you're hurting but there are other ways to handle it that don't involve exposing yourself," he tried to explain. She turned back arround, annoyed that there was yet another man trying to tell her how she should live her life. Trying to control her. She was sick of it. 

 

"OK listen Joe. Firstly a piece of paper and a shared last name doesn't make us family alright? Secondly, my father abandoned me before I was born and I sure as hell didn't ask Santa for one this year so if you'd stop trying to fill that male role in my life I'd appreciate it."

With that Iris turned around once again to leave but what Joe said next paralysed her.

 

"I didn't know Francine was pregnant." 

 

A lump formed in her throat at the mention of her deceased mothers name and Iris swallowed it back down as the alcohol seemed to evaporate out of her instantaneously. She mastered the energy to turn around and look at him once more and his face was cast down in sorrow. 

 

"What?" she croaked. 

 

"I didn't abandon you Iris. I didn't know you existed. I only found out this week when Wells gave me a letter from my father explaining everything." He sighed, his voice heavy with regret. 

 

"It's really a long story and I'd rather we talked once you're sober and can process everything. I just... I want you to know that I'm sorry. I..."

 

"Stop," she interrupted with a whisper, her voice tremulous with the emergence of tears. She couldn't breathe and her body was suddenly consumed by an unexpected chill. It felt like the world was closing in on her, dragging her down into a lonely darkness where she'd have nothing to distract her from the emotions she'd been running from her whole life. She looked up at him and her eyes managed to pick up similarities between them, her heart shattered. She couldn't stop the tears from falling this time. 

 

"Iris," he said softly coming towards her with his arms outstretched but she refused. She wouldn't be fooled by his act. This was all just a plot to bring her down. The universe was just playing a prank on her. He couldn't be her father. Her father abandoned her before she was born. He couldn't be. She took off running towards the garage and rushed into her car before starting it up and speeding away. In the distance she could hear him call out her name and her heart constricted. He couldn't be her father. He just couldn't. She carried on driving with no particular destination, partially blinded by the tears that stung her eyes. Soon it began to rain, robbing her completely of all her sight so she stopped the car in the middle of no where and let herself cry. Her screams of agony mimicking the tempestuous roar of the storm. 

 

 

 

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay everyone 🙏🏾 but here it is.
> 
> Just a quick update for those of us who have read Tears She Shed, I'm happy to say that thanks to all your feedback I will in fact be continuing with the fic. Heads-up because of my schedule and with Au I'll only be carrying on in November. This will give me plenty of time to put the story together and give you a thought through fic instead of something rushed (rushed ain't my style).
> 
> Thanks for all the support I trully appreciate it and I can't wait to go on that journey with you. For now enjoying something a little less dark. Here's Au💜
> 
> XOXO😘

* * *

_Her little legs swung playfully from the edge of the park bench. She was just across from the school and it had been hours since the last student was picked up. Most of her surroundings were dark and she didn't dare look in any other direction except straight ahead. She was terrified. Her foster father should have picked her up at the end of the school day but as always he'd forgotten. Most of the other kids in the home were old enough and close enough to home to walk their way back, leaving her at the mercy of a man who had the memory of a goldfish. Night had fallen and a chill had taken over the streets. A flimsy fog began to rise, giving the park a sinister aura and poor little seven-year-old Iris was terrified._

_A figure stumbled out of the shadows towards her and she kept her eyes trained on the drunken silhouette, afraid to be caught off guard. It was a teenager with a messy mop of curly blonde hair, baggy clothes and a creepy smile. He slumped down next to her and she shifted a little, turning her head to face the school once more. He smelt of smoke. Not cigarette or fire but something else. Chemical and strong. He slurred his words when he spoke._

_"Hey, there little girl. How you doin?"_

_She didn't bother looking at him, praying that if she ignored him long enough he'd stumble on his merry way._

_"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?" He asked yet again and yet again she didn't legitimise his question with an answer._

_"You just gonna let me talk to myself?" He persisted, inching closer towards her. With her discomfort growing and her fear intensifying, Iris finally broke._

_"I'm not supposed to talk to strangers," she answered, naïvely hoping that the answer would satisfy the young man enough for him to leave her be. She had no such luck._

_"Oh, but we don't have to be strangers. I'm Fred. What's your name?"_   
_The stranger placed his large hand on her tiny thigh and Iris felt her heartbeat quicken. She froze, paralysed by her fear and simply sat there trying to remember how to breathe. His hand felt heavy and dirty on her skin and she felt a sudden itch originating from their point of contact. She wanted to scream, to get up and run, to wack the stranger over the head with her backpack but she was too afraid to move._

_"You're really pretty you know?" He whispered into her ear before leaning in closer and smelling her hair._

_"Please leave me alone." She managed to croak out with a small and shaky voice._

_"Don't worry. I won't hurt you." He told her while sliding his hand further up her thigh. She began to hyperventilate. She had no idea what he was doing but it felt wrong. She needed it to stop. Where was her foster father? Why wasn't he there to save her? Tears started streaming down her trembling cheeks and she closed her eyes, wishing that her body would listen to her mind and start moving. That her legs would jump off the bench and run, that her vocal cords would loosen up a bit more and allow her to scream._

_"Don't cry baby girl. This is gonna be fun. You'll see," he said before planting his grimy lips onto her cheek._

_"Iris!" The voice echoed through the still night, startling her. Her eyes shot open and she could just about make out two headlights in the distance. He'd finally come. She was saved. Reawakened by the proximity of safety she opened her mouth and screamed._

_"Daddy!" her cry rang through the air. Her assailant was taken aback by her sudden outburst and in his surprise, he let go of her. That 30-second window was all she needed to get up and run the hell out of there. Despite being blinded by the fog she sped out of the park, crossed the street and into the school parking lot. The blurry form of her foster father came into view and she was overcome by a wave of relief. She ran into him, hugging his legs as tightly as she could. The tears flowed more heavily and her body trembled from all the adrenaline._

_A normal parent would have hugged her back, told her that everything was OK, that they'd come to make it all better. But he wasn't a normal parent. Instead, he yanked her away from him and land a marking slap across her face._

_"How many times have I told you not to wait in that park? You know who hangs around there? Drunks and drug addicts. You wanna get hurt huh?" He asked while aggressively grabbing a hold of her arm._

_"I'm sorry daddy," she sobbed, with a hand pressed against her still burning cheek._

_"Cut the daddy bullshit, I'm not your father," he snapped and thrust her forward._

_"Get in the car," he ordered and without another word, she did as she was told. As they drove to the house Iris kept hearing his words over and over again._

**_I'm not your father_ **

_He wasn't her dad. Her dad didn't want her. Why didn't he want her? Why didn't he love her? Why did he doom her to this life? This life of constant hiding and change and loneliness? What had she done to push him away? All she had were questions and despite the positivity of her youth, she had no hope of ever having those questions answered._

* * *

 

He woke up slowly, his eyes adjusting to the lack of lighting. Lazily he turned his head to the side and read the time off of his digital alarm clock. 6:00 am. Barry sighed out in frustration. It was the third consecutive morning that he had woken up an hour before his alarm and it all started after the party. After he saw her in the arms of another man. A man he assumed was her boyfriend. The realisation shattered something within him and all rational thought flew out of the window. Barry couldn't explain it but he knew that she was his and he was hers. They were meant to be together.

Weren't they?

If they were meant to be then wouldn't she feel it too? Maybe she did feel it and that's why she kept making all of those advances. But then why kiss someone else? Why be intimate with another man? Why allow yourself to be protected by another's arms? Once again he sighed. He needed to clear his thoughts, get her out of his head. Just as he'd done the previous days he got dressed for a workout and hit the streets with a gentle jog.   
The sun was just peeking through the horizon, painting his surroundings with a faint yellow-orange light. The air still smelled of fresh rain, a residue of the nightly downpours that had been happening. He sped up from a jog to a run, enjoying the feel of the wind blowing in his face. His breath was strained but he kept pushing, going faster and faster, running from his thoughts.

Before he knew it Barry found himself at the cemetery. He stopped and took a moment to catch his breath. His eyes stung with ghostly tears that he blinked back. He wouldn't cry over a stranger. Instead, he walked in and made his way towards his parents. A sad smile spread over his lips when reached their tombstones. He brushed them with his hand despite the lack of dust present. The rain had washed them clean.

"Hi mom. Hi dad." He greeted with a hint of longing in his voice. He needed his mother's comfort, her warm hug and contagious smile. He craved his father's wise words, delivered in a tone rich with affection. He missed them. He felt their loss more strongly that day because he needed someone to talk to. Someone to listen to him as he poured out his soul and admitted out loud that he felt like he'd lost something special. Something real, and that loss made his heart particularly vulnerable to the losses of the past.

"I miss you," he whispered under his breath then fell into a deep silence, staring at the square shaped cement slabs before him. His hands rested on top of each one as he searched for some form of comfort but his usual method didn't seem to be working. With one last stroke at the cold stones, he sighed and made his way out. He took the long way as he wanted to stop by the mausoleum to make peace with what happened and close that chapter of his life once and for all. It wouldn't erase the memory of her permanently but it would help him begin his journey to moving on.

Not for the first time, it hit him how ridiculous it all was. He barely knew the woman and how could he. They barely spent enough time greeting each other before attacking one another like wild animals during mating season.

_It was never meant to be_ he decided, chalking it all up to his own insanity. He was marked by the unusual and powerful nature of their first encounter and his brain made it out to be something more than it actually was. The structure seemed to gleam beneath the sun's morning rays, newly cleaned by the evening showers. He stopped in front of it, remembering that day with crystal clarity. The damp smell of wet earth only helped emphasise his experience.   
_It was magical,_  he thought to himself.   
_But it was only meant to be a one-time thing_.

His heart didn't believe it, but Barry was convinced that if he rolled the thought around in his heart eventually it would be true.

"Time to mo..." he stopped mid declaration, interrupted by the sound of what seemed like a whimper coming from within the mausoleum. He stayed still, listening attentively. Seconds later it came again. Definitely a whimper.

"Hello?" he asked as he took a step forward, chilled to the bone with fear. The dead didn't whimper so what on earth was he walking into? Reluctantly, Barry climbed the short flight of steps that led to the mausoleum and stepped inside its dark interior.

"Is anyone in here?" he asked, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting. He didn't see anything at first but after a few seconds he could just about make out the shape of a crouched figure hidden deep in the shadowy darkness of the left corner. He approached with caution.

"Uh? Hey there, are you, are you lost? Can I help you with anything?"

The closer he got the more he could make out and silhouette became vaguely familiar.

"Da-da-daddy," the person stuttered with a  tremulous voice that made Barry abort his slow approach and hurry to her side.

"Iris," he called out as he sank to his knees and pulled her into his arms. She was still dressed in her party gown but it seemed like it had been through war. Her hair clung to her forehead with perspiration and she shivered in his arms.

"Daddy," she whimpered out again in her feverish delirium.

"Oh my God you're burning up," he exclaimed.

"We need to get you to the hospital."

Barry placed her limp arm around his neck then with one hand under her knees and the other pressed to her back he lifted her off of the cold floor. The sound of keys hitting the ground echoed through the small room and he looked down to find her car keys. Barry bent down gently and grabbed them before making his way out, his previous grievances forgotten. He found her car park close by and thankfully she'd risen the top of her convertible which had protected the vehicle from the downpours she seemed to have gotten caught in. He sat her down gingerly in the front seat, buckled her in and reclined the seat then hurried around to the driver's side. Trying to stay calm he started the car, put it in gear and sped away towards the nearest hospital. The thought of losing her permanently put the thought of losing her to another man into perspective. At least she'd be alive and happy, even if it wasn't with him. Iris whimpered once again and Barry reached out and held her hand.

"Stay with me Iris, you're gonna be OK." He pleaded.

"Barry," she quivered out while turning her head towards the sound of his voice.

"Don't leave me," she pleaded, her words shaking with each shiver that rocked through her. Barry gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and said,

"I'm here Iris. I'm not going anywhere."


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!😍
> 
> Just a fair warning, this one is short and semi-sweet 💜🙏🏾 hope you still like it though 💜
> 
> XOXO💞

* * *

Barry bounced his leg furiously on the white linoleum floor. It had only been twenty minutes since the doctors and nurses had rushed Iris into an examination room but it felt like an eternity. He was worried beyond explanation and it showed through his tense posture. Back hunched, chin resting on fisted hands that were held up by arms firmly planted on his thighs. His elbows dug into his legs but he barely seemed to notice. Footsteps hurried his way and he turned his head in that general direction to find Linda running towards him followed by two men. One he didn't recognise though the man had a certain resemblance to Iris and the other made his skin crawl with anger. It was the same guy he'd caught with his tongue down Iris's throat three nights prior. The blonde mans eye was still visibly red and the look he directed at Barry showed that he was equally displeased. 

 

"What the hell is he doing here?" Eddie spat once the small group had reached Barry. 

 

"He found her," Linda snapped in a tone that said 'shut up or get out' before she turned to Barry and asked how Iris was. 

 

 "I don't have any news yet. They've been in there for twenty minutes already. I'm starting to get worried." He answered, ignoring Eddie's violent advance. 

 

"What do you think's wrong with her?" the older man asked.

 

"I think it might just be a bad cold. Atleast I'm hoping so cause that can be treated. She looked soaked through and had a really high fever so I'm really hoping she's OK. Oh and I'm Barry Allen by the way." Barry offered his hand for the man to shake. 

 

"Joe West, Iris's father. Thank you so much for bringing her hear and alerting us."

 

Barry's mouth suddenly went dry. _Her father_ he thought. It felt weird, like he'd skipped a few fundamental steps of the dating process and went straight to meeting the parents. Never mind moving too fast, this was just out of order. Before he could say anything (which would most likely embarass him with how nervous he was feeling) the doctor walked up to them. 

 

"Are you all here for Ms West?" he asked and they all nodded. 

 

"Well then all her symptoms indicate that Ms West has the flu it's nothing that can't be cured and as it is we've managed to get her fever under control. Timing was an essential factor, if you hadn't brought her to us when you did this might have been a very different conversation." 

 

The miniscule crowd visibly relaxed, all releaved that everything had worked out fine. 

 

"Can we see her?" Joe asked. 

 

"She's currently asleep but you can indeed see her. I'd suggest keeping a fair distance, however, due to the contagious nature of the disease and Mr Allen seeing as how you found her and had close contact I'd suggest you get a shot for preventative measures. We're keeping her in over night for observation and if all seems normal in the morning she can go home." 

 

They thanked the doctor who then gave them directions both to Iris's room and to where Barry could get his flu shot. He wanted to go with them to see her but decided it would be better to get the shot first, maybe then he'd be allowed to touch her. 

As he sat in line waiting for his turn he thought about the ulternate scenario. One where the doctor approached them with a grim face and said that there was nothing that could be done to save her. Chills shook his body and his skin erupted in goosebumps. He could have lost her and that truth hit him like a hammer on the head, solidifying what he'd already come to terms with. He cares for her, deeply, and not having her in his life was not an option no matter how many boyfriends he had to punch in the face. The nurse called his name, snapping him out of his day dream. He proceeded to the room, got his shot and then quickly made his way to Iris's room. He arrived just as the others left the room. Joe closed the door behind him with a hurt expression on his face. Barry's heart quickened with worry. 

 

"What's wrong?" he asked once he was within ear shot.

 

"Nothing. You should leave," Eddie spat and Barry willingly ignored his remark.

 

"Hush!" Linda ordered before turning her attention on to Barry. 

 

"Mademoiselle West is awake. She wishes to see you," she said. Barry blinked in astonishment then stuttered:

 

"Oh-Okay."

 

He paused with his hand on the handle and took a deep breath before turning it and stepping inside. Her head was turned away from him, her hair splayed across the pillow in wavy ebony swirls. The sun had risen and shone on to her face from the window she was staring out off. He approached with caution, not out of fear but out of consideration. He didn't want to startle her, but she was aware of him all along. He stopped a short distance from her bed, not wanting to impose on her personal space, and waited.

 

"You don't have to stand so far away," she said, her head still turned towards the window. He stepped closer, stopping right by her and tentatively placed his hand on her arm. 

 

"Are you ok?" he asked and she simply nodded. She lied. She wasn't OK and not because of how sick she felt but rather because of how out of control her emotions were. She had so many questions but she was afraid of every answer. There were only two possibilities. Either Joe was lying to her or her entire life had been a complete fabrication up to that point and she didn't know which one was worse. The first option implicated a miserable future and the second left her with a none existant past. Both left her lost, broken and without an identity. 

 

"Do you want anything? Are you in any pain or discomfort?" Barry asked and she shook her head no. They stayed in silence for a while. Her watching the window and him watching her. She looked fragile and weak, but not even that could dampen her beauty in his eyes. He let his hand roam down her arm then held her hand and squeezed gently. She seemed bothered and he wanted to ask her what was on her mind but he also felt like that wasn't his place. Not yet anyway. They barely knew eachother. Still he couldn't help but notice the distant shimmer of tears that rested just behind her eyes and he wanted to help in whatever way she would allow him to. 

 

"Iris I - I don't know what's wrong but whatever it is, I want you to know that-" 

 

"Will you hold me?" She interrupted his speech, her voice weak and shaky, and he simply looked at her for a second, shocked at her request. 

 

"I'm sorry what?" he asked, unsure if he had heard correctly. She turned to face him for the first time since he walked in and he could see the desperation in her eyes. She needed to be comforted. 

 

"Will you hold me Barry? Please?" she asked again. This time he heard her loud and clear. 

 

"Yeah, of course," he answered and laid down next to her as she scooched to make room for him. She rested her head on his chest and curled up against him, feeling protected as his arms wrapped around her. He felt her tremble with each breath she took, her body weak from the illness. 

 

"Is this OK?" he asked, unsure if it was exactly what she had in mind and afraid that she may be uncomfortable. 

 

"It's better than OK. Thank you," she answered. 

 

"You're welcome," he said with a goofy smile on his face. They fell back into a comfortable silence and Iris allowed herself to forget about her problems. In that moment all she wanted was to be in his arms and pretend like that's the only place she needed to be. In her state of relaxation her eyes grew heavy and soon she was fast asleep. By midafternoon she came to and was pleasantly surprised to find that Barry was still by her side. He'd fallen asleep himself and she watched him sleep, her heart fluterring at the innocence pronounced in his state of rest. He was beautiful. His long lashes grazed his cheeks and his tiny lips were partially open as he breathed steadily. She reached up a cautious and weak hand and brushed a stray strand of hair from his face then let her hand linger on his cheek. A sweet smile spread over her lips. 

 

Iris didn't quite understand what exactly it was that she was feeling but one thing was made very clear to her in that moment. She cared about him, deeply, and for the first time in her life she didn't push those feelings away. Perhaps it was the loss of her grandfather or the medication or her sudden reunion with her long last "dad" or a combination of it all that made Iris decide to embrace her new emotions with open arms. All those disturbances made her feel powerless and out of place but in the little time she'd spent with Barry, despite the chaotic run-in, being by his side made her feel like she belonged, like she was safe. Like she was home. 

 

Iris moved up slowly and gently pressed her lips to his. He woke, but kept his eyes closed and kissed her back. Soft and sweet. 

They broke apart and she looked down into his groggy eyes. He smiled up at her and caressed her cheek. She smiled back.

 

"What are you thinking about?" she asked.

"I'm thinking that I'm glad I got that flu shot before I came to see you." he answered and the both of them laughed. Something was different between the two of them. There were no internal battles, no past issues that needed resolving, no questions of why what was happening was. Simply two people sharing each other's company with at ease hearts due to their acceptance of their attraction and affection for one another. 

 

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> So sorry for the delay but life's been hectic 😩  
> Unfortunately because of circumstances I'm gonna have to take a break for a while but don't worry I'm not giving up on the story. I just need some time to get my ducks in a row ♥️💜
> 
> I hope you enjoy the chapter and don't miss me too much 💜😘  
> Wattpaders your chapter's up too 😍
> 
> XOXO  
> 💜🖤

"You were right. Hospital Jell-O is alot better than hospital chocolate pudding," Iris confessed as she put her empty dessert container on the tray. It was early evening and she'd just finished her dinner. Barry smiled at her, satisfied that he'd won yet another discussion. What had started off as a friendly debate about the best ship on FRIENDS (they agreed to disagree with Iris being team Chandler and Monica and Barry being team Ross and Rachel) ended up becoming a continuous stream of debates that lasted till well after the sun had set. A nurse came into the room to take Iris's tray away and gave her, her medication. Soon the pills began to take effect and Iris settled into her hospital bed, preparing to sleep for the night. 

 

"It's getting late, I should probably leave." Barry announced, standing up from his spot on the single sofa and Iris grew visibly dissapointed. She loved having him around and didn't want to be left alone with her own thoughts. 

 

"Can't you stay a little longer? Just till I fall asleep?" she asked and he offered her a soft smile. 

 

"Ofcourse I can," he answered and was just about to retake his seat when she called out his name and stopped him. 

 

"Barry," she said. "Come lay with me. I want to cuddle again." 

 

He smiled and his face flushed but he somehow felt completely comfortable with her request. He walked up to the bed and was about to join her when a knock at the door stopped him.

 

"Come in," Iris answered, looking past Barry to see Joe step inside. 

 

"Barry, I...didn't think you'd still be here." He said surprised to see the young man at his daughter's bedside. 

 

"Yeah I didn't want to leave her alone but it's getting late and visiting hours are almost over so... I was just about to take off." Barry explained, feeling like he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't. He didn't mind being with Iris, he just didn't want to *be* with her infront of her dad. Not without a formal introduction. It was a matter of respect for him. Unfortunately for him, Iris had other plans. 

 

"Barry you were not leaving." She sold him out. 

 

"Iris..." he started sheepishly but Joe interrupted. 

 

"Please don't leave on my account."

 

"No, no it's not your fault. I..." poor Barry tried to justify. This time it was Iris who cut him off. 

 

"Yes it is his fault. This entire situation is his fault. I'm sorry Joe but what ever it is that you have to say to me can wait till morning. Barry get in bed." She commanded with the same ease and force that she demonstrated in every business meeting and official event she attended. Barry looked at the man opposite him and his heart went out to Joe when he saw the heartbroken look on his face. He stepped closer to Iris but instead of laying down with her he wrapped his arms around her and gave her forehead a loving kiss. 

 

"Just hear him out OK? He really seems to care about you." He whispered into her ear. Barry knows what it's like growing up with out a father and if he could clear out every argument he had with his dad as a kid he would, but that was water under the bridge. Helping Iris see that there are more important things than whatever argument she was having with her dad wouldn't bring his father back but it would help him feel better that she wasn't wasting precious time bickering with hers. 

 

He gave her a pleading look and she caved. She wasn't happy about it but for some reason the manner in which Barry made his request made her willing. She watched him leave heavy hearted and when the door clicked shut behind him she crossed her arms over her chest and stared Joe down.

 

"What do you want?" She snapped. 

 

"Iris, I'm sorry. I really didn't mean for any of this to happen. I admit that it wasn't the most appropriate way to reveal such a life changing piece of information. I let my anger get the best of me and for that I'm sorry." Joe apologised. The genuineness in his tone made it hard for her to keep her guard up. He trully was sorry and the sad part was that, despite her earlier remark, it really wasn't his fault. If he was telling the truth and he didn't know she existed then he was every bit a victim as she was. As much as she wanted to be angry and have someone to blame she was sensible to know that it wasn't him. The person she should have been angry with was six feet underground, completely protected from her hateful gazes. It was frustrating but for once she decided to be the bigger person and forgive. 

 

"You don't have to be sorry." She said, the words seeming unfamiliar despite it being her voice that sounded through the air. 

 

"You didn't know. It wasn't your fault." Inside she was a storm of emotions. She wondered if Barry was rubbing off on her. Could that be the reason why she was being so understanding of another person's feelings? Why she didn't simply put up her walls and push him away? 

Or was it the little girl inside her that still craved that fatherly affection? That was still looking for someone to call her daddy's little girl. 

 

"I didn't know. I promise you that I had no idea. If I'd known I never would have left. I..." He looked at her tired face and sighed. 

 

"That's a story for another time. Right now you focus on getting better baby girl." 

 

*Don't cry baby girl...*

 

*I'm not your father...*

 

The words came crashing into her mind and with them a miríade of traumatic memories. Her walls weren't up and she was caught unprepared so each resurfaced thought hit her full force. She began to tremble. 

 

"Baby girl? Are you alright?" Joe asked concerned as he stepped closer. 

 

"Don't touch me!" She yelled. 

 

"Get out! Get out!" She screamed.

 

"Iris, calm down, what's going on?" He pushed, trying desperately to help. 

 

"Get out!" she screamed again, ignoring his question. Barry walked in then, his eyes wide with worry. He'd been waiting outside to give her a proper goodbye after Joe left but upon hearing her screams he rushed back into the room. 

 

"What's going on?" He asked and Joe turned to him with a clueless expression on his face. Barry stepped towards Iris and wrapped his arms around her. She put up a fight at first but eventually calmed down in his embrace. She buried her head in his shoulder and started to cry. 

 

"It's OK. You're safe. No one's gonna hurt you. I got you." Barry reassured her as he caressed her hair and planted a kiss on the top of her head. He was confused and worried but he realised that she needed him more than he needed an explanation so he simply held her till she calmed down. Shaken by her sudden outburst and feeling like he was imposing on an intimate moment Joe slipped out quietly without either of them noticing. A little while later, Iris's sobs turned into silent hiccups with the ocassional cough here and there. 

 

"Better?" he asked and she nodded weakly. 

 

"Do you want to talk about it?" he questioned and she shook her head "no". 

She didn't want to talk about it because talking about it ment rationalising it and once it all made sence she wouldn't be able to deny it any longer: she was still that lonely little girl from years ago. The emotions of love, trust and belonging that she associated with her grandfather became null and void in the face of his lies. He was no better than the foster dad who forgot her at the park that night. Atleast those people were good enough to show their true colours. He filled her head with fantasies and made her believe that she meant something. All the while it was just one great big act and she was too desperate and needy to see it.

 

No she didn't want to talk about it, because talking about it meant admitting out loud that she was a nobody. 

 

....

 

Iris fell asleep in Barry's arms, grateful that he simply held her in silence. She needed the comfort. The next morning she woke up to the feel of soft lips, lovingly pressed against hers. She smiled inwardly. He was so sweet. They broke apart and when she opened her eyes her heart nearly jumped out of her chest in fright. It wasn't Barry who had woken her up, it was Eddie. 

 

"Gosh Eddie what the hell?" she exclaimed and the satisfied smile he had on seemed to melt off of his face. 

 

"What do you mean? I thought you liked it," he answered and she sighed out in frustration. There was a conversation that needed to be had between them and she knew it. She opened her mouth to tell him that his services were no longer needed when the door opened and Barry walked in with a brown paper bag. His hair was wet and he looked freshly showered and changed. 

*He probably went home after I fell asleep* she thought as her heart skipped a beat for an entirely different reason. 

 

"What the hell are you doing here?" Eddie asked in a possessive tone. Iris geared herself up to come to Barry's defence but he surprised her by snapping back. 

 

"I could be asking you the same question." Barry retorted, his voice low and dangerous. She turned around to look at him and his face was set in an expression of cool dominance, like a gladiator preparing to attack. Her breath caught in her throat. Just like that he went from cute cuddle toy to hot Greek god.

 

"Who the fuck do you think you are, talking to me like that? I've known Iris for years alright? I have every right to be here. What about you delivery boy?" Eddie spat and Iris felt herself shiver when she noticed the slow burning fire in Barry's eyes. 

 

"First of all I feel sorry for you if you think the length of a relationship is a measure of its strength. Secondly incase you forgot I was the one who found her. Any decent human being would check up on her. Thirdly I care about her so it's only natural that I'd want to make sure she's alright." 

He reiterates and steps closer to a dumbfounded Iris. He places the bag on a side table and smiles down at her. 

 

"Goodmorning," he greets then takes her by surprise by leaning in and kissing her, a show of affection that just so happened to announce to the other alpha male that she was spoken for. It was barbaric and caveman-like, she realised, but something about the way he claimed her as a prize infront of his opponent made her that much more attracted to him. Any other day and from any other man that action would have left a bitter taste in her mouth but in that situation and coming from Barry it seemed like a protective gesture of devotion. She was his and so he was devoted to her. 

 

"I stopped by Jitters and got you a little something. Hospital oatmeal is worse than its chocolate pudding." He said once they broke apart. 

 

"You son of a bitch, get off of her!" Eddie yelled before he launched himself at Barry and held him up against the wall by the collar of his shirt. 

 

"Eddie stop it!" Iris yelled agitated. 

 

"It's OK Iris, don't get yourself worked up. Eddie and I are just going to step outside for a quick second." Barry reassured her while staring the other man down. 

 

"If you care about her at all, you'll let go and follow me out so we can handle this man to man. She's still recovering and doesn't need the stress." he whispered, hoping that Iris hadn't heard. With his face still contorted into an expression of deep hatered, Eddie complied and let go of him then walked out the door. Barry straightened out his shirt and offered her a smile that said "don't worry", before following a fuming Eddie outside. 

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the patience and let me say its good to be back! I hope you enjoy the chapter! 
> 
> Unfortunately I greet you with bad news (😭for my Wattpad readers that is) 
> 
> I somehow managed to delete the entire Chapter 19 of Au and no matter how hard I try I can't retrieve it 😭 I'll have to rewrite that one but I promise that I'll try to have it for you by the end of this week 😭💜 again I'm so, so sorry for the continued delay 🤧
> 
> 😓😓😓😓😓😓😓😓💔💔💔💔💔💔

Later that day Barry would question where he found the nerve to stand up to Eddie but in that moment, as he closed the door behind him, the only thought on his mind was Iris. The look on her face as he was pinned to the wall was one of fear and he could tell by the still present pallor of her skin that she hadn't fully recovered as yet. She didn't need the stress and he wasn't about to put her through it. 

 

"Look, I don't know you and you don't know me but we clearly have something in common and that's Iris. We both care about her. She's had a rough couple of days and right now she doesn't need this." He tried to reason with the blue eyed specimen who stared him down with an unwilling gaze. 

 

"I agree. She doesn't need this. You've brought her breakfast, you've kissed her goodmorning, you've had you're fun. It's time for you to leave." Eddie stated with his arms folded tight over his chest, further enhancing his hostile demeanour. Unfortunately for Eddie, Barry was feeling especially cocky that morning so he simply addressed the other man with a raised eyebrow and a confident grin. 

 

"You honestly think that if we both walk in there she's gonna pick you over me?" he asked as he pointed behind him to the door and Eddie's cheeks flushed with anger. He faced Barry head on, not letting his insecurities show through but Barry saw them flicker in his eyes. 

 

"Come on man. Save yourself the embarrassment and go home," he suggested and Eddie finally flipped. He banged Barry up against the door, crumpling the scientist's collar once again as the veins on his neck bulged out in anger. 

 

"How about I send you in there with a blue eye huh? How's that for embarrassment? Show Iris what a wuss you really are." Eddie spat, unknowingly revealing the true source of his current state of agitation. His ego was bruised. He'd woken up on a divan with a vile of vinegar being held beneath his nose and curious eyes peering down at him, but the eyes he wanted to see (her eyes) were no where to be found. He later found out that she'd gone after Barry and left after an altercation with Mr West. She didn't even spare him a second glance. Didn't care enough to know if he was alright. That thought in itself made his every insecurity a reality. He knew Iris, he'd known her for almost three years, and she'd never been one to chase after a guy. In his heart, Eddie believed that she'd find love someday, that the right man would break down those walls and finally claim her heart, only he thought that man would be him. 

 

"What on earth is going on here!" Joe's bellow cut through the air and both men turned to stare at the father figure approaching. 

 

"Eddie let go of him this instant!" Joe commanded and though he made no attempt to hide his annoyance Eddie did as he was told. Barry neatened his appearance and turned to thank Joe for his help. 

 

"Listen I don't care what you both think is important enough that you need to send eachother to your premature graves, but whatever it is you sort your issues out away from my daughter you got that? Iris is recovering and she doesn't need to get worked up over some macho contest. Have I made myself clear?" he scolded like the parent that he was and both men submissively held their tongues and nodded. In that moment Barry saw a flicker of Iris in Joe. Something about the way he commanded the situation, speaking in a manner and tone that left no space for doubt. 

 

"Now both of you take a walk outside, get some fresh air and when you've gotten back to your senses you can see her," he ordered. 

 

"But Joe..." Eddie tried, 

 

"That's Mr West to you son, and that wasn't a request. Now get out of here before I get security to escort you out," Joe put his foot down and Barry nodded. 

 

"Yes sir," he answered and thought:

 

*She's his daughter alright*. Joe gave them both one last meaningful look and knocked on the door. 

 

"Come in." Iris called back and Barry watched as Joe stepped inside, before making his way out of the hospital.

 

...

 

Iris looked anxiously at the door, hoping that Barry would step in unharmed and her heart sunk when she realised that the person coming to see her was in fact Joe.  

 

"What do you want?" she immidietaly attacked him as she rolled her eyes in frustration. Clearly the man had trouble understanding when he wasn't wanted. 

 

"I came to see how you are and hopefully take you home." Joe responded in a tone that indicated that her attitude did not phase him. Iris sighed. When were people gonna learn to take a hint? 

 

"Listen Joe, I get that you probably feel awful that you weren't there for me and all that sentimental bullshit but here's the truth, I'm a grown ass woman and I don't need a father. So if your hopping to get close to me and some day hear me call you dad, you're waisting your time. Just pretend like you never found out OK? For all you know I'm just some random charity case your father adobted when he got lonely." 

 

"Iris, I understand that this is going to take time but you can't ask me to just pretend like I don't know you're my daughter. I - I actually care about you." Joe approached her cautiously. 

 

"You just met me!" she burst. 

"Seriously. A week ago I was a nobody to you and you were a nobody to me and I get that it wasn't your fault, I won't hold that against you. But I've been through alot in my life because I'm an orphan and having you mysteriously pop up out of nowhere isn't going to change anything. Maybe it would have when I was ten or whatever, but it's too late now. So if you'll excuse me, I need to get my doctor to sign me out."

 

"I've already done that." Joe said in a low voice, low enough for Iris to believe that she had actually hurt him but she didn't acknowledge it. 

 

"Done what?" she asked instead. 

 

"I got your doctor on my way in. He'll be here any second to do a final check up and sign you out. I've also taken the liberty of calling Linda and asking her to stop by with a change of clothes for you." He explained and for a few seconds Iris simply stared at him wide eyed. She was used to doing things herself, especially as an adult, so to suddenly have someone help her out was...unsual, to say the least. She didn't know what to make of the situation. 

 

"Um...Thank you," she said. 

 

"You're welcome." Joe gave her a sad smile then walked over to the door, but he stopped with his hand on the handle, almost as if he were contemplating something. He then turned around and said:

 

"I know you don't want anything to do with me and that you don't need a father but you do have two younger siblings. Wally and Jenna, and they would really like to meet you. We're having a family brunch this weekend cause Wally's coming home from college and it would be really nice if you could make it. Ofcourse you don't have to if you don't want to but...it would be nice." Joe extended the invite hurriedly, almost as if he could confuse her if he spoke fast enough. There was a glimmer of hope in his eyes, a silent plea for her to say yes and a very strong part of her wanted to. Her heart was racing in her chest as she digested the information. 

 

Two other people in this world who shared her DNA. Siblings, a brother and a sister. Did they look like her? Did they have the same interests? Did they really want to meet her? She was curious and excited and she opened her mouth to accept the offer but what came out instead was:

 

"I'm sorry, I can't." 

 

It was like an automatic response. No. A way for her to shut the world out. What if they hated her? How would she feel each time they exchanged knowing glances and inside jokes? What if she got attached? She couldn't do it. No matter how much she wanted to her mind was telling her that it wasn't worth the possible heart break, it was too big a risk to take. Iris watched as the little light in Joe's eyes died out and his face fell. 

 

"Alright. I understand, I'll uh, I'll leave you to it then. The doctor should be here any moment." He said and walked out of the room. Her body tilted in his general direction, almost as if she wanted to stop him but she stopped herself and simply watched as the door clicked shut. 

 

.... 

 

A few minutes after Joe left, the doctor walked in and examined her. Linda arrived just as Iris got the "all clear" and Iris tried to push all her conflicting emotions a side so as to restore a bit of normality into her life. 

 

"Flats?" Iris gave her assistant a questioning look as she regarded the choice of foot wear Linda had brought her. She didn't even know she owned a pair of flats. 

 

"Yes miss. The doctor suggested that you don't exert yourself. I did not think heels would be appropriate for your recovery." Linda explained and Iris closed her eyes so as to keep herself from snapping at the girl. 

 

"Linda, I've been in heels since I was 13. My feet have been moulded to the shape of every stiletto and wedge I have in my closet. High heels aren't an exertion, they're second nature to me." Iris explained as she reluctantly stepped into black pumps. To her surprise they were quite comfortable, despite the unfamiliarity of having her feet planted so firmly on the ground without being barefoot. 

 

"Oui madame, forgive me it won't happen again." Linda apologised before they stepped out of the hospital room and made their way down the hall towards the exit. Joe had paid her hospital bill already and on her way out she was pondering on a way to give the money back without seeming petty when someone approaching her caught her attention. She stopped and turned in that general direction to find a smiling Barry walking her way. All her worries suddenly vanished and all she could think about was how he stood up to Eddie (who was nowhere in sight) for her. 

 

She felt butterflies grow restless in the pit of her stomach the closer he got. 

 

"Hey," he said shyly once he was standing infront of her. 

 

"I'm sorry about kissing you earlier I shouldn't have..."

 

She silenced him by pressing her lips to his, reassuring him that he had nothing to apologise for. 

 

"What, what was that for?" He asked once they broke apart and she smiled up at him seductively. 

 

"Evening out the score," she said then added:

"Come on, take me home." 

 

... 

 

They rode to the estate in a comfortable silence and when they arrived Barry helped her to her room. 

 

"I need a bath," she declared as they walked inside. 

 

"OK, I'll be downstairs if you need me," Barry said as he prepared to leave the room but Iris placed her hand on the partially open door and leaned on it, closing it shut. 

 

"I have a better idea," she said in that low tone that sent shivers through his body. Iris closed the tiny gap between them and looked up into his eyes. With the flats on she had to stand on the tips of her toes in order to reach his lips. 

 

"Why don't you join me?" she whispered and her breath tickled his skin. She leaned in and planted provocative pecks on his lips, interrupting his attempts at answering. 

 

"I..." He tried but she kissed him. 

 

"I..." Yet again she silenced him. 

 

"I..." She sucked on his bottom lip, teasing him ever so slightly and Barry could feel himself losing the will power to refuse. So he reacted. 

 

He planted his hands firmly on her waist and pulled her close, claiming her lips with such fervour that it wasn't long before her knees grew weak. She wrapped her arms around his neck and dug her fingers into his hair, pulling him closer. Barry could feel his body come to life but something inside him clicked on (just as he was ready to give in) and pushed the heat away. His feelings bubbled to the surface and with them a profound amount of respect for the woman in his arms. He pulled away abruptly, leaving Iris confused. 

 

"We can't," he said and she smiled at him, turning his face back towards her. 

 

"Ofcourse we can, we're two consenting adults. There's nothing wrong with it." She tried to convince him but Barry didn't budge. 

 

"No we can't. Not like this," he said. 

 

"I don't understand," Iris confessed, looking at him with a baffled expression on. 

 

"I want to do right by you Iris. I want to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. And if we do this then we do it right or not at all." Barry paused, deciding how best to word what he had to say next.

 

"I guess, what I'm trying to say is... will you go out with me?"

Iris simply stared at him in shock. For the second time that day she found herself in a position where she didn't know what to say. She'd never had to answer that question before. Honestly, she'd never even been on a date!

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yellow yet again! 😂💛
> 
> Left yall on a bit of a cliffhanger but I'm hoping this fixes it. This chapter takes us back to the psychological roots of the fic so I hope you enjoy the inner struggles. I have a little surprise up my sleeve regarding this story and I'll let you know my plan soon enough. Stay tuned!
> 
>  
> 
> PS. It might help to revise the theory of Infinite love on Chapter 6 incase this chapter gets a little confusing! 
> 
> [BTW: I'll be posting a new fic today, that is a little... Let's say different but I hope you all like it 💜❤️] 
> 
> Now on to the good stuff 😊.  
> Enjoy! 😙💜
> 
> XOXO  
> 😍😘

* * *

“You don’t have to answer right away,” Barry filled the silence that had suddenly fallen between them. Iris was simply staring at him wide eyed and he felt himself grow nervous at her lack of a reaction. It would have been easier if she had simply rejected his offer. Would it hurt? Like being burnt alive by the sun, but at least he wouldn’t feel like his heart was being juiced in anticipation. Iris walked over to her bed and sat down, her face still expressionless. 

“Or uh, or not. You know what, forget I said anything. I’m just - gonna go.” Barry stuttered, turning around to leave but she called out to him and stopped him. 

“No, Barry wait.” She said and he turned back around, his heart beating a little more hopefully. 

“I’m sorry this - my shock - isn’t a no it’s just…” she cast her gaze on the floor as she tried to find the right words to explain what she was thinking and Barry could somehow read the inner conflict from her side profile. He approached cautiously, settling down beside her and placing a comforting hand on her knee.

“I didn’t mean to spring this up on you, I’m sorry. If you’ve just been through a bad break up or aren’t in that headspace yet I completely understand. I’ll wait for you.” He offered with a kind smile, completely misreading her hesitation. 

It wasn’t that she’d been through a bad break up, she’d never been in an official relationship to begin with. By the time she was of dating age she was too damaged to trust anyone fully with the pieces of her shattered heart and most of the guys who approached her didn’t mind being in it just for the fun. It was easier that way, she gave her body what it needed, had a good time and kept her heart safe in the process. Now here Barry was, asking her out and the idea of it all seemed too alien for her mind to process. She couldn’t understand the need of it all.

"Why?” she made her confusion known and Barry regarded her with a bewilderment of his own. 

“Why what?” he asked, unsure how to answer her one word question.

“Why would you wait when I’m offering you what you want without the expense of having to court me? Isn’t that what dates are for? A cover up for what we really want? A way to eliminate the concept of sex with a stranger?”

Barry’s eyes widened by the directness of her tone. The slight glimmer of hurt that flickered in her eyes, for a second, made him break a little. She looked like a woman betrayed, like he was selling her a dream in a bottle and taking her for a big enough fool to buy it. He found himself aching for her, wondering what happened to mark her this much, wondering who dared to hurt her. His ache turned into anger and the beast within began to stir. Barry could feel the darkness taking over and his heart beat quickened in fright. If he let himself be consumed by his anger the beast would cloud his judgement, then no one would be safe. Not even Iris. He’d been down that road before and he knew that no good would come from it. His demons wouldn’t care about getting to know her, they had no moral minds only animalistic desires. They would claim her as their own, see her as an object to be used and possessed not a person to be cared for and protected. He couldn’t let that happen, couldn’t let his lesser nature break through, so with all his might he pushed them down. 

Acting out of an impulse to keep her safe and prevent her from seeing his own inner struggle, Barry wrapped her in a bear hug and drew her to his chest. Surprised by his spontaneous action, Iris remained frozen for a while and contemplated what he must be thinking.

_He probably thinks you’re a slut._

_He pity’s you. That’s all this is._

_He knows you’re broken. Don’t get sucked in._

The voices of reason hammered away at her mind, tearing her hopeful heart to pieces but the latter refused to give up. Iris closed her eyes against the tears that bubbled to the surface. She could hear his heartbeat ringing in her ears, nervous in its fast thud-thud-thud. 

_Pull away!_

The voice inside her screamed.

_Let him go!_

It yelled.

_He’s going to hurt you!_

It hollered urgently and yet no matter how loud it screamed her body wouldn’t obey. It wouldn’t move, it felt safe. The voices in her head kept screaming but somehow in its own silent way her heart was speaking too. Each beat sent a wave of emotion through her, a feeling of faith that Barry was different. That he wasn’t like all the others who approached her with an agenda, that it was ok to let him in. Her will to fight against it was dwindling and her conscious cried louder.

_Don’t give in!_

_This won’t end well!_

_If you fall for him there’s no turning back!_

She couldn’t shut those voices out, they’d kept her safe over the years but for the first time ever she couldn’t silence her heart either. She was trapped in a no man’s land, stranded in a war in which she could pick no sides. Unknowingly sensing her dilemma within his own plight, Barry answered her question by whispering: 

“I don’t want sex with a stranger. I want romance with a woman I might grow to…” he trailed off as a sliver of doubt beat through him. At that Iris did push herself out of his embrace, just enough to be able to look into his eyes.

“You might grow to what?” she pressed on, her eye’s pleading with him to be honest with her. To give her a reason to say yes, to end her inner conflict once and for all.

_Tell her!_

His mind yelled, but his heart skipped a fearful beat. 

_You’re half in love with her already, tell her and she’ll be yours. Be her hero. Save her from whatever past is haunting her._

The voice told him but yet again his heart hammered in his ears with uncertainty. His brain wanted him to believe. It wanted him to be her knight, it wanted her to be the Daisy to his Gatsby. Yet his poor, vulnerable heart, the only barrier between him and his monster, seemed to tremble in his chest. It didn’t deny his feelings for her, but it was afraid of their intensity. Afraid of what giving in would mean, afraid that this was one adventure it couldn’t go on. An emotional dive Barry might not be able to control. His heart reminded Barry of the beast within, of what would happen if he lost control. Each thud echoed through him with a question of concern. 

_What if you can’t put it back in its cage?_

_What if you can’t protect her from yourself?_

_What if you break her even more?_

It seemed to ask and the consequences attached to each answer did little to calm his fear. His lungs started contracting and breathing suddenly became a strenuous task. 

“Barry?” Iris called out but her voice seemed distant. She pulled out of his embrace and placed a hand on his back, rubbing it in gentle circles. She was suddenly reminded of the day they met. 

“Breathe Barry, Breathe.” She prompted softly and he tried but each inhale seemed to pierce through him. His hyperventilating worsened and he grew lightheaded. Barry fell to the ground, wheezing uncontrollably.

“Barry? Barry!” Iris screamed, kneeling down on the floor beside him.  

“Linda! Call 9-1-1!” Iris cried, tears streaming down her worried face.

“Barry, stay with me! Come on Barry try to breathe.” She pleaded and in that moment she felt her heart stop, consumed by a great fear of loss. Of losing him. 

Barry saw the concern on her face and internally kicked himself for being the cause of it. He wanted to tell her not to get herself worked up, that he’d be ok but he could barely take in a long enough breath, let alone sound out words. He could feel his consciousness slipping away and the last thing he heard before the darkness took over was the sound of her worried sobs.

* * *

She held onto his hands as the paramedics came in to help him. They had to work their ways around her and all along she kept reminding herself to breathe. Repeating to herself that she needed to stay calm. With a nebulizer attached to his lower face, Barry’s eyes began to flutter open.  

“Barry? Barry are you OK?” she asked and he turned his head to look at her. A weak smile crossed his lips and she allowed herself to breath out a sigh of relief. 

“Barry is it? We need you try your best to take deep breaths. The medication should help alleviate your symptoms.” One of the paramedics instructed and Barry wilfully obliged. All the while Iris held his hand, squeezing on occasion to reassure herself that he was actually there. That he was alive. 

“Sorry, about that. It was a stress induced asthma attack.” Barry explained sheepishly, once Linda left with the paramedics. His breaths were still a little raspy and strained.  

“You don’t have to apologise. I’m just glad your OK.” Iris told him, her eyes were dry but her face was still stained. 

“I made you cry,” Barry said as he gently passed the back of his pointer finger over her cheeks. His voice had a guilty quality to it and Iris shook her head with a smile then leaned in to press a kiss to his forehead. 

“It’s not your fault. Now try to get some rest OK? I’ll be right back,” She informed. 

“I should be getting home. I don’t want to be anymore trouble-” he said while trying to get up but Iris cut him off and pushed him back down gently. 

“Don’t be unreasonable, you’re no trouble at all and there’s no way I’m letting you go anywhere in this state.” She said then added. 

“Go on. Get some sleep.” 

Barry nodded with a smile and closed his eyes. For a moment Iris simply watched him fall asleep then she let go of his hand but he squeezed. 

“Where are you going?” he asked, his voice murky, clearly indicating that he was almost asleep. 

“I just need to wash my face and change, don’t worry. I won’t leave you.” She reassured him. 

“OK,” he breathed out his eyes already closing. As she walked to the bathroom she had on an endearing smile. The last time someone needed her this much, her grandfather was sick and on the verge of death. He’d call for her every night, afraid that he would meet death on his own and she’d held his hand until the very end. The brain tumour had subjected him to vivid hallucinations and many a time she’d find herself talking him out of them. Then when he calmed down and finally drifted off to sleep she’d break down in his arms, fearing the end, crushed by the thought of a life without him. A life without her hero. 

As the memories stirred Iris simply looked down at her hand and the ghostly feel of Elvis’s hand around her tugged at her heart. 

_What would have happened if I’d known just how connected we were? Would it hurt more? Would I break further? Would I have tried harder to save you? Prayed harder?_

She wondered. The sound of rustling sheets from her bedroom brought her back from her ruminations and Iris quickly finished washing the tear stains from her face and changed into a black satin, knee length nightgown. She joined Barry in bed, keeping her distance so as not to bother him but in his sleep he drew her to him and her heart smiled at how well she fit in his arms. How naturally her body moulded to his. As she drifted off to sleep, Iris marvelled at how his embrace made her feel more at home in her own bed than ever. She wondered what it would be like to have this be her everyday and every night… 

_She felt the kisses on her back before she opened her eyes and relished in the feeling of his lips on her sensitive skin. As experienced and well travelled as she was, she could safely say that there is no better way to wake up then in the arms of that one special person that was made just for you. The arm that wasn’t beneath her, creeped under the covers and pressed onto her bare stomach. They’d been so spent from the night before that they’d barely bothered to get dressed before falling asleep, tangled up in each other. The cold metal of his wedding band sent pleasant shivers through her body, reminding her that he was hers and she was his forever._

_“Good morning,” she bubbled out in her haze without opening her eyes and he moved his attention from her back to her neck, stopping only briefly to whisper in her ear:_

_“Good morning.”_

_A_ _content smile crept over her lips as Barry carried on his advances, his hand moving from her stomach to feel down the dip of her waist to the curve of her hip._

_“How did you sleep?” she asked, trying to bring his attention back from his bout of early morning lust (not that she minded, it was the perfect way to wake her entire body up at once)._

_“With the taste of you on my tongue. Every dream was sweet.” He growled and she trembled. She’d been surprised to find that he wasn’t as gentle and soft natured in bed as he was as a person. She relished in the fact that only she got to see that side of him. His inner beast was reserved just for her._

_“You’re awfully filthy for…” she opened her eyes to gaze at the watch on her night stand and realised that she’d slept in._

_“…10 in the morning,”_

_“I’m just getting warmed up,” he answered and she chuckled, turning around in his arms to face him. His moderate case of bed head and the hazy look in his eyes made her relive the night before in sweet, hot flashes._

_“As much as I would love to stay in bed and hear you talk dirty to me, we should probably get up,” She said attempting to be responsible. He pouted and her heart fluttered. What a cutie._

_“But you’re the boss, you don’t have to go to work. And what’s more you’re **my** boss so if you tell me to stay in I have to obey,” he said, the wicked grin on his face adding some less than decent subtext to his words. _

_“Oh, you have to obey do you?” She asked flirtatiously and he nodded as he leaned in to peck her lips._

_“I do. Anything you want, anyway you want it, I have to give it to you,”_

_His offer was tempting but as he had pointed out she was the boss and setting an example was half the job._

_“Well then, I want you to join me in the shower and get ready for work before we sit down for breakfast,” She said. His eyes narrowed for a second then he suggested:_

_“How about we have breakfast before the shower?”_

_“I’m sure that could be arranged. What are you in the mood for? French toast? Yogurt? Oml-”_

_Before Iris could finish listing their options he climbed on top of her and pinned her arms down on either side of her head._

_“All I want is right here,” he said and she recognised the fiery glow in his eyes from the night before._

_“Iris for breakfast?” she asked breathlessly._

_“My favourite.” He answered and bent down to claim her lips._  

Iris’s drifted back into consciousness with the sweet memory of his touch. She kept her eyes closed, desperately clinging onto the sensation but like all dreams it soon started to fade. As she grew more awake she became increasingly aware of the lack of warmth beside her. The lack of lighting in her room told her it was sometime between late evening and early night and she reached up to her side lap and clicked it on. 

Not surprisingly, Barry wasn’t beside her and she felt her heart drop in disappointment. Iris looked down at her left hand and brushed her fingers over where her own wedding band had been. She’d never pictured herself as a married woman, never dreamed about a future with another person. Yet, somehow after that dream it felt weird not to have a ring on. Like it belonged on her finger. 

_Snap out of it!_

The voice in her mind came back and Iris shook her head, curling her hand into a fist. 

_You can’t go down that road. He just asked you out. That doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean he’s different. He’s still human. He’ll hurt you._

The lecture inside her went on and on and usually that was enough for her to put her walls back up and seal her heart behind them. Forget that it’s there, that it beats, that it feels. 

A heart that doesn’t exist cannot be broken. 

This time however, her broken heart was less compliant. It roared in her chest, refusing to be forgotten. Each thud that echoed through screamed Barry’s name. It ached for him, felt incomplete without him and despite her attempts she couldn’t get it to stop. 

This hadn’t been the first time she’d been tempted to open up. To let someone in, let them take care of her. The first few times she’d ended up disappointed and eventually she began to shut her emotions down out of her own volition. A defence mechanism to avoid getting hurt. With each failed attempt at feeling her walls grew in numbers and strength, eventually becoming an elaborate labyrinth that no one, not even she, could make they’re way around. 

The only person that had come close to knowing her heart was her grandfather and even he got lost in her emotional maze. But when Barry crashed into her life he seemed to have obliterated years of carefully crafted architecture with a single soul searing look. Each touch left her longing for him. Each kiss revived a part of her that had laid dormant for more than a decade. 

So her heart screamed, ringing in her ears with a plea that she give him a chance. It begged for her to feel, to not blind herself to the fact that she might like Barry…maybe, maybe even love him.

_Love isn’t real!_

_It’s just an illusion!_

_Don’t fall for it!_

_Just bed him and get him out of your system!_

_Don’t give in!_

_Don’t…._

The yells in her mind were interrupted by the sound of Barry’s laughter. Her heart beat faster and her stomach was an instant butterfly zoo. Barefoot, she gravitated towards the sound, each step closer filling her chest with a pleasant warmth. 

Then the scene that unfolded outside her partially opened front door froze her in her steps. Barry had on that disarming smile that had made her feel more in the past week than anything else in her entire life. The only problem was that smile was directed at another woman. A blonde of average build with specks and a S.T.A.R. Labs lab coat. The glint in her eyes as she blushed up at Barry was unmistakable.

It was the gaze of a woman smitten.

The butterflies in her stomach died out, giving way to nausea. The warmth in her chest dissipated, replaced by a feeling that can only be described as a billion tiny ants marching haphazardly across her heart. It was a feeling that had become foreign to her thanks to her lavish life and “no fucks to give” attitude. The feeling of jealousy. 

Before Iris could process an adequate course of action she forced herself to cough uncontrollably. Her pretence cut through the affair and Barry’s attention returned to it’s rightful place : her. 

“Iris? Are you ok?” Barry asked as he reached her side and led her into the living room. She nodded her head and reduced her act enough to ask for water. 

“Yeah sure I’ll get you a glass, Patty keep and eye on her will you?” he asked and the other woman nodded. Her concern was genuine but Iris couldn’t see it from beneath the film of anger that clouded her judgement. She waited till Barry was out of ear shot then turned to Patty and whispered:

“You listen to me and you listen well, cause I’m only going to say this once. Barry is mine and if I ever catch you trying to seduce him again I’ll write you a glowing letter of recommendation and have you shipped to the coldest corner of the earth. Are we clear?”

“Ye-Ye,” was all the poor girl could master in her state of shock and fear. 

“Good. Now fix your face, his coming back,” She ordered before clearing her throat loudly. 

“Here you go,” he said, handing her the glass. 

“Thanks babe,” She said and watched, from the seamed edge of her glass as his cheeks visibly tinted from the pet name. Exactly the reaction she was looking for. 

“Are you OK?” he asked once she pulled the glass away from her lips and she nodded. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry about that, I guess I haven’t fully recovered as yet.” She said, purposefully lowering the timbre of her voice to match that of a scratchy throat. 

“Nothing that a little tea won’t fix,” She added. 

“You sure?” He pressed on, squatting down in front of her and rubbing her thighs. 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” she assured him. 

“OK. But I’m keeping my eyes on you,” he said and she cupped his cheek. He turned his head to plant a kiss on her wrist and she smiled. 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” 

“Um, I’m gonna go now,” Patty interrupted their little moment, reminding them that she was, in fact, still there. 

“Oh, um, you sure?” Barry asked standing up from his perch and Iris felt her irritation grow a notch at the sudden lack of proximity between them. 

“Yeah, I’ve done what I came here to do. Um Ms West? Dr Snow asked me to deliver a new blouse along with her sincerest apologies. If its not to your liking she’d be happy to replace it.” Patty explained.

“Oh how kind of her. Please tell her I said thank you.” Iris responded with her kindest smile and a flash of shock registered on the girls features.

“S-Sure. I’ll let her know.” She stuttered.

“I’ll get going then, don’t want to take anymore of your time.” She said inching towards the door. 

“I’ll walk you out,” Barry offered and though his kind heart was one of he features Iris most liked about him, at that precise moment it was doing little to assuage the green eyed monster that was using her heart as a trampoline. Reading the danger in Iris’s eyes Patty was quick to shoot down his offer. 

“No its OK, I can show myself out. You just nurse Ms West best to health. I’ll see you at work. Bye!” She half jogged towards the door as if she couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Barry turned to Iris with a baffled look on his face.

“That’s was weird,” he observed. 

“Poor thing was probably tired.” Iris brushed it off, wanting to keep Patty out of their topics of conversation. 

“Yeah probably. Speaking of tired we should get you back to bed. Can you get up?” he asked. 

“Yeah, I should be able to.” She answered the proceeded to get up. The action was done too quickly and she slumped back down immediately as her head began to spin. 

“Woah- yeah, I’ll take that as a no.” Barry said as he moved closer towards her. She felt his arm slip under her knees and before she could protest he said:

“If you’ll excuse me,” and picked her up. She chuckled at his politeness and asked:

"You really are a gentleman aren’t you?” 

“Can’t risk milady getting hurt now can I?” he answered, doing his best impersonation of a gallant knight. 

_Milady, my lady._

The thought brought a smile to her lips and she leaned her head against his chest as he carried her up to her room. 

“There. You comfy?” he asked as he fluffed some pillows behind her and she nodded. 

“Thank you,”

“No need to thank me. Now I’ll go see about that tea, you rest up.” He said, getting up to leave but her hand wrapped around his wrist and stopped him. He turned towards her with questioning eyes and she moved from beneath her sheets to kneel before him. Iris pressed her lips to his, not in hunger or need but as a silent show of affection. As she lingered he felt a shift inside her, almost like a small part of her was welcoming him in and when they broke apart he simply looked at her, unable to describe what had just happened. 

“What was that for?” he asked uncertain and she smiled. 

“My way of saying yes, I’d love to go out with you.” The hesitation that previously haunted her eyes was gone and Barry smiled. No words could explain the joy in his heart at the possibility of a real shot with her. The chance to hold her, heal her and lover her. There was no right way to explain it so he simply stared into her eyes, expressing his excitement in his longing gaze. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just realised the similarities between this chapter and Tears She Shed. Completely unintentional. Sorry if it felt like you were reading the same thing twice 😅💜🙏🏾


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! So sorry its super late but I'm trying to juggle plus minus 14 works at the moment (not all published as yet) so it's been a wild ride!
> 
> Now I need your help in solving a bit of an organizational writing problem. You see I didn't expect to have so much to get into with this fic but I do and I'm calculating that I might have to split it into two, maybe three parts.
> 
> My question to you is can I leave it all under this fic and simply label each individual part of would you prefer it if I wrote two (or three) different fics under one collection?
> 
> I can work either way I really just depend on your comfort and your ease of reading.
> 
> Hope you like this chapter!  
> Cliffhanger warnings apply 😊
> 
> XOXO  
> 😍💜

* * *

“Linda!” She called out frustrated and her petite assistant came rushing in.

“Miss West?” she asked panicked and her eyes widened upon discovering the chaotic state of the chamber. Clothes and shoes of all types, fabrics and shades covered every inch of the room. The vanity was a mess of jewels and scarves and Iris herself stood in the middle of it all in nothing but her lingerie and a look of pure distress.

“I have absolutely nothing appropriate to wear!” Iris screamed and Linda studied her, shocked by her bosses insecurity. Iris wasn’t like most girls. She didn’t get nervous before a meeting and certainly didn’t second guess her fashion sense. But then again this wasn’t a meeting and Iris’s style was more business chic and less cute girl casual.

“Uh I’m sure a pair of jeans and  a blouse will do mademoiselle.” Linda offered and Iris slapped her forehead.

“I don’t own a pair of jeans Linda. All my pants are made from cotton or silk or whatever other fabric there is out there that can be used in an office setting. I’m a woman of business, I don’t do casual.” Iris walked over to her invisible bed and flopped down on to a pile of clothing.

“Maybe I should just cancel.” She admitted defeated and hid her face between her palms. Tentatively, Linda approached and she knelt down beside Iris with a sympathetic smile on her face.

“It is not so unsolvable a problem Ms. West. There is still time. Do you perhaps have a pretty dress that is not too – how you say it – flashy?” Linda asked and Iris looked up at her with defeat still on her face. Thinking on her feet Linda stood and said:

“What about the Ralph Lauren piece you wore to the Queen’s engagement brunch last year? I know it is a few seasons old but I don’t think Monsieur Allen will notice?” Linda suggested once again, looking around at the mess until she spotted the blue and white print. She unearthed the strap less dress and held it up for Iris to inspect. It was simple, fell till just below the knee and had splashes of blue along the white fabric. Two blue bars brought the ensemble together, one above a white bar at the hem of the dress and one accentuating the waist. The top half was body hugging with a sweet heart neckline and the skirt flowed loosely with gentle pleats.

“A little conditioner on your wet hair, a touch of deep purple lipstick and to wrap it all up some baby blue pumps and _voilà_! You’ll look _magnifique_!” Linda pieced the look together and the more Iris thought about it, the more she liked the idea.

“Alright Linda, I’m sold. Just substitute the pumps for wedge heels and you have a deal.” Iris prompted.

“But Ms West you shouldn’t…”

“I’ll be fine Linda. Now help me with my hair.” She assured her and Linda followed her boss to the vanity where she went to work defining Iris’s curls.

* * *

“OK, watch your step,” he said as he led her to some secret location. Her hands were in his, stretched out in front of her, and her eyes were blindfolded.

“Where are you taking me?” she asked relieved that he’d finally put her down and was letting her walk. He’d taken a cab to pick her up and when she tried to argue that she could have driven them both to their destination he retorted by explaining that what he had planned was a surprise. Before they left, the blindfold came on and she’d been sightless ever since. When they reached they’re destination he’d warned her that there were stares to be climbed and proceeded to pick her up and carry her all the way.

There were almost ten flights of stairs and to say that she was impressed (and turned on) by his strength and stamina was an understatement. She’d been worried that the effort might trigger his asthma but every time Iris suggested he put her down Barry would  stubbornly tell her that he’s fine and carry on.

“We’re almost there,” he promised a little breathlessly though Barry suspected it had very little do to with the flight of stares and a lot to do with how beautiful she looked. The minute he laid eyes on her at the top of the stairs his heart skipped a beat and his brain couldn’t string a coherent thought together. Her hair rested wild and shiny on her shoulders each curl begging to be twirled around his fingers. Her eyes were enhanced by the smoky eye make up she’d done, highlighted on each outer corner with a sky blue eye shadow. Her lips were red and inviting and the dress made her look girlish. During their drive he’d congratulated himself on the brilliant idea of using a blindfold. Her lack of sight allowed him to stare at her without seeming like a creep (more like without her knowing he was a creep).

She might not have been able to see but Iris felt his gaze on her the entire time and it made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. In her mind she kept replaying the whisper he’d breathed into her ear when she reached him at the bottom of the stairs:

_“You look amazing Iris,”_

He’d said softly, almost like it were a secret he wanted to keep between the two of them. Like her beauty was something he didn’t want to share. The thought sent shivers down her spine.

Barry didn’t look so bad himself. With his usual geek-cute look, he’d opted for a pair of black skinny jeans, some sneakers and a black blazer over a white button down shirt.

“OK we’re here.” He announced and she felt him let go of her hands and move behind her.

“Just keep your eyes closed till I say OK?” his breath kissed her cheek and she nodded, goosebumps erupting all over her body.

He took of the blind fold then placed his hands on her hips and said:

“OK, you can open them.”

The scene before her took her breath away. They were standing on the roof of his apartment building with an expansive view of the city spread before them. A candle lit picnic was laid out on a table that rested in the corner of the roof top. Cushions had been neatly placed on the protruding block of concrete that gave the surrounding wall a slight “L” shape.

“Did you do all this?” she asked under her breath her heart fluttering at the thought of his effort.

“Yeah. Do you – do you like it?” he asked a little nervously and she turned around to hug him.

“I love it. Thank you.” She said, her voice breaking slightly with emotion.

“No, thank you. For agreeing to be my date tonight.” He said and she pulled away enough to look into his eyes.

“Come on, you have to see the view.” He said, leading her to the impromptu sofa he’d set up. Iris sat down side ways and took in the almost set sun. Lights were going on around the city and the sight was enough to bring tears to her eyes.

“It’s beautiful.” She said and he scooted closer to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and drawing her close.

“Yeah it is, but it’s even more stunning tonight cause you’re apart of the view.” He revealed softly and she felt her heart skip a beat. Iris rested her head comfortably on his shoulder and he leaned in so that his cheek laid on the crown of her head. For a moment they simply sat there, watching the sky grow dark and the city lights come on.

* * *

“How are you feeling? Better?” he asked, regarding her beneath his eyelashes as if trying to hide his concern. He’d been particularly cautious of her that evening and was afraid his worry might come to annoy her so he tried to hide it as best as he could.

“I am, much, thank you. If it weren’t for your nursing me back to health I probably would have still been in bed.” She admitted with a grateful smile and despite the darkness she could still see the tint of his cheeks (with a little help from the ambiance setting candle light).

They’d dined on homemade noddle’s (which Iris was surprised to find Barry made himself) and were now enjoying a lemony cheese cake with succulent strawberries (yet another of his culinary achievements). The delectable nature of the dishes had spurred on their conversation and they passed the time conversing lightly about recipes and favorite foods. Barry made her a promise to bake up a batch of his special double chocolate brownies, confidently stating that she’d never want them any other way after she tried them.

“It- it was nothing really.” He tried to brush it off. Taking care of her had come naturally to him. There just seemed to be some sort of innate force that pushed him to it, that wanted her to be OK.

“No it was definitely something. I wasn’t really a sick child but whenever I did get the occasional stomach bug or cold I was waited on by two, maybe three people. But somehow having you take care of me felt different. It didn’t feel like you were doing it out of obligation it felt like it came from a genuine place of concern and af-”

She stopped herself, afraid of revealing too much at once.

“It was nice. So again thank you.” She recovered.

“I’m glad I could help.” He smiled shyly then added:

“You- uh -really did a number on yourself didn’t you? Do you mind me asking what happened?”

She looked up at him wide eyed, surprised by his question. What was even more surprising was the fact that she couldn’t actually remember much. The last thing she could recall was sobbing helplessly in her car that was parked in a semi-wooded area a block away from the cemetery. Everything else was a murky compilation of darkness, rain, soil and Barry asking her to hold on.

“Iris?” his voice broke through her inner ramblings and she blinked back into herself, clearing her throat before responding.

“Oh, uh? Sorry. Let’s, um, let’s just say I got some rather upsetting news and drove off into the night. I was, uh, a little shaken so I can’t really remember what happened. I just know that I got caught in the rain. That’s probably how I got sick.” She tried to piece it all together and he studied her. His sea green eyes boring into her with such curious worry that she was almost afraid that he would gaze the truth right out of her. A truth her mind clearly didn’t want her to know.

“But enough about me, let’s talk about you. Parents?” she changed the subject quickly before Barry had a chance to pry any further. He thankfully took the hint and answered:

“Umm, I’m an orphan actually. My parents passed away when I was ten. Car accident.” The conversation had been light up to that point but the mood shifted with his revelation. It didn’t darken, it simply grew serious and personal.

“I’m so sorry to hear that,” She said genuinely, sympathetic towards his pain. Barry chuckled sadly and she regarded him with a puzzled look.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing it’s just, I never quite knew how to respond to that. Still don’t. It seems weird to thank someone for feeling sorry for you but at the same time I can’t really just shrug if off and say that I’m over it. That would be heartless of me, and a lie.” He explained.

“Trust me I understand more than you know.” She admitted.

“How so?” he asked confused.

“I’m an orphan too,” She revealed in a matter-of-fact tone.

“You are?” he asked surprised and she nodded with a sad smile.

“What-what about Mr. West?” he pressed on, hoping that the question didn’t over step.

“He’s responsible for half my DNA and that’s it. The fact that he made me doesn’t change the fact that up until a week or so ago I was a fatherless, motherless girl who’s entire identity was formed around that depressing fact.” She pushed a few strawberries around with her fork, suddenly unable to stand their delectable sweetness.

“How did it shape you?” he pressed curiously.

“Well for one, in case you haven’t noticed, I have major trust issues. You see, at first no one wanted me cause I was just a burden they had to take care of, a disease better isolated lest I infect anyone else. Then Elvis took me in, he gave me a name and a fortune and suddenly every one wanted me. Only problem was they wanted me for the wrong reasons. So rich or poor I was always dispensable. Never human never… worth loving because – because I either had nothing to offer or I was nothing more than a few more zeros on a check.” Iris cleared her throat and blinked away the tears in her eyes.

“The fact that no one else would ever see me as anything more than a bag of flesh to be exploited made me realise that I had to value myself. I became my number one fan, my own greatest critique and my own best friend. Slowly I started living for me and solitude became home. Before I knew it I trusted no one but myself and found my happiness in the pleasures life has to offer. It’s just easier that way. Can’t hurt if you don’t set yourself up for it.” She shrugged.

It was the first time she’d admitted her thoughts out loud for another beings interpretation and suddenly (perhaps because the other being happened to be Barry) her life choices seemed questionable at best. Iris tried to shake of the instability that came with being that open and vulnerable but it was no use.

After a long silence she looked up to find him admiring her pensively. 

“What?” she questioned and he shook his head.

“Nothing, it’s just that- with the history you’ve just described it makes sense why you wouldn’t want to open up to the possibility of having a parent but at the same time… Don’t you want to know what he’s like? See where you get some of your traits, maybe build a relationship with him? I mean I’m no expert on character but he seems like he genuinely cares about you,” he explained.

Iris cast her gaze down, embarrassed that he saw right through her to her fear. The reason for her unwillingness to put herself out there. Her reservations about getting hurt.

“I can’t.” she whispered to the table but when his hand covered hers she met his gaze and found his smile encouraging.

“Yes you can. It’s OK to be afraid with all that you’ve been through. Heck it’s probably mandatory from a psychological point of view, but take it from someone who has no hope at a second chance. The risk might be worth it. At least that way if something happens in the future you’re not haunted by all the what if’s.” He advised. He contemplated his next words briefly, diverting his eyes for a second as a deep blush took over but found the strength to look her in the eye and say:

“If, if you’ll have me, I’d love to be there for you. Help you no matter the outcome. You know misery likes company and all. Maybe the burden will be easier and the happiness sweeter if you have someone to share it with. I’d really like to be that someone.”

Iris felt the moisture on her cheek before she could fully process what he had just offered her. Confused and shaky she blinked and wondered when she had started crying exactly before they both found themselves caught in a spontaneous down pour.

* * *

He busied himself boiling the kettle for tea (while she got dressed) and hummed a happy tune, contrasting with the weather outside. They’d managed to run back into the building but not before being completely drenched.

The sky had been clear during early evening and the two had been so lost in each other that they barely noticed when the weather began to change.

“You know I was thinking, isn’t it funny how almost every time we meet up there’s a storm of some kind?” she asked and Barry whipped around startled. He hadn’t heard her walk into the kitchen. His eyes widened as they took in the sight before him. Iris’s hair hung in moist locks around her shoulders and her curvy figure was just barely concealed by one of his white dress shirts.   
He was suddenly very aware of the fact that they were alone in the tiny apartment.   
Cisco had gone home for the weekend and they had the entire place to themselves. That fact didn’t by Iris either but they both chose to respect the rules and push the thought away.

Sex on the first date was like an unspoken taboo. A rule in the sacred book of dating that Iris was just starting to know and Barry hoped to live by with her. A feat that was proving to be increasingly difficult.

“Barry?” she asked and he came to, blinking away the shock. Even without the classy clothes and the thin layer of make up she still managed to look effortlessly beautiful. She still took his breath away.

He laughed awkwardly.

“Yeah, it’s either a really huge coincidence or a nasty trick of faith.” He remarked bringing down mugs from a shelf as the kettle clicked off.

Iris simply watched him work. His hair was tousled and slightly wet from the rain, making her fingers itch to glide through them. The towel around his shoulders did nothing to hide the damp state of his shirt nor the sinful way in which it hugged his surprisingly toned body. He turned around to hand her the mug and caught her staring. Her cheeks flushed as a shy (yet knowing) grin spread across his lips.

_Now we’re even._

He thought. The idea was punctuated by a distant growl. The monster was coming out to play. Suppressing his need to pin her to the wall and ravish her, Barry side stepped around her to get out of the kitchen and said:

“I should probably warm up too. Wouldn’t want to catch a cold.”

The image of Barry, naked, under a spray of hot water and only a door away was enough to make her breath hitch in her throat.

 _I might just need another shower_.

She thought to herself as she nodded and watched him walk towards the bathroom. With the door closed and his back resting on the frame, Barry took the opportunity to breathe. He didn’t want to be hasty with her, not after all she revealed to him before and during their date. Not that he thought he might hurt her, but he wanted to give her the full experience. He wanted her to know what it’s like to have someone care for you unconditionally, to experience true love the way it should be. Blinking away his ruminations he stripped out of his wet clothing and stepped under the hot shower, all the while trying to keep all thoughts of Iris being so close, out of his mind.

On the outside, Iris took her tea into Barry’s room and sat down, exploring the space with her eyes. Everything from the small collection of books on the study desk to the posters on the wall that alternated from science anecdotes to musical posters, all of it let her know a little bit more about Barry. Each wall, decoration and personal item was like turning the page of a book and discovering a whole new side to a story.

This time around she didn’t feel like an intruder. The picture of who she assumed was young Barry and his parents didn’t make her feel uneasy. Instead it filled her heart with warmth because it made her feel like she knew him a little better from having seen it. In a moment of contemplation she envisioned a picture of the two of them resting beside it and the thought made her smile.

Setting her mug down besides the photo frame, she gave herself the liberty of lying down on his bed. The linen smelled like him and she smooshed her face into the pillow, taking deep breaths.

His words came fluttering into her mind,

_“I’d love to be there for you.”_

Her heart fluttered, finally able to appreciate his proposal. He was offering her the greatest gift a lonely girl could ever ask for.

The gift of company.

Somewhere inside her that scared little her came skipping into the light, thankful to be out of the shadows, brought forward by a hope that her solitude was finally over.

Iris heard the shower turn off and thought about leaving to allow Barry some privacy to get dressed. Yet, she found herself unable to move. For the first time in her life her heart, body and mind where in sync. They wanted the same thing: Barry. To be his in every way. The bathroom door opened and she felt her body spark to life with each second that past, fully aware that he was walking closer.

And closer.

And closer.

The door knob turned and her heart stopped. She didn’t recognise herself in that moment as she waited for him to come in. The blood in her veins seemed to vibrate with anticipation and it was all she could do to remind herself to breathe.

Barry stepped inside unaware of what awaited him and when he’s eyes locked on hers he felt something within him click. The cage had been opened, but the beast wasn’t out as yet. Neither of them spoke as he closed the door behind him and she stood. Her gluttonous eyes roamed over his wet body as she walked towards him and placed her hands on his chest. The skin to skin contact sent electric pulses coursing through them both and Barry grabbed a hold of her waist and spun her around to pin her to the wall. Breath left her lungs with a rush on impact but she was given a chance to regain it as Barry suddenly became gentle and gingerly cupped her cheek with his hand. His eyes roamed from hers to her lips, lingering for a second, before roaming back up to lock with her dark brown orbs. Her pupils had dilated, making her eyes look entirely black and he lost himself in them, feeling them draw him in like black holes.

Spontaneously, he crashed his lips to hers and both took a second to savour the familiar feeling before responding. Her arms snaked around his neck and her hands reached up to dig into his damp hair. His hands tightened their grip around her waist, drawing her further to him. Without breaking apart Iris began to move forward forcing Barry to retreat backwards and fall onto his bed. The feel of the mattress sinking beneath their joint weight woke him up to the dangers of the line they were both about to cross.

“I thought we’d agreed to wait,” Barry said between kisses and Iris paused to look down at him.

“I don’t want to wait any longer.” She whispered between breaths.

“I want you.” The desperation was blatant in her request and before Barry could answer she lifted off of him and stepped back. Her fingers gingerly freed the buttons from their cells before she shrugged the t-shirt off. The fabric slid off her skin with ease, accentuating its smoothness and making his hands itch to feel it for themselves. He watched, mesmerised, as it fell to the ground then slowly trailed his eyes up her naked body. He took in every curve, bump and dip, taking mental pictures of her perfection as she stood there… bare before him. When his eyes reached hers something inside him shifted and his bestial old friend immerged from the shadows of his soul.

For the first time ever Iris felt no need to be in control, she was possessed by an unnatural calmness that whispered with in her: “Take it slow.”

It was strange because initially she expected one of two reactions from herself…   
(a) An overwhelming hunger spurred on by her anticipation of this very moment or…   
(b) A crippling shyness that had her heart racing for an entirely different reason. Insecurity.

But this? This she didn’t expect. Due to their whirlwind meeting and the speed with which they’d gotten here she didn’t anticipate feeling so comfortably at home with his greedy gaze grazing her naked flesh. She didn’t expect the warm feeling that invaded her chest as he eyed her like she was sculpted just for him. She didn’t foresee her soul taking over and finding in him a mate. 

He rose from his perch on the bed, approaching her cautiously. Less like a shy school boy, more like a predator on a hunt. Her breath hitched in her throat when he was close enough that she could feel the heat radiating from him. He looked into her eyes with a seriousness that warranted she stare back.

And so she did.

Her eyes never left him as he dropped to his knees and wrapped his hands around her ankles. She gasped at how warm they were against her burning skin, the added heat making her body tremble with feverish shivers of pleasure.

Faithfully, Iris watched him as, with a torturously slow pace, he slid his hand up her calf. Slowly, he measured her, following each turn like a car on a highway. Into the dip of her knees, up the back of her thighs, over the curve of her ass, up the smoothness of her back.

He measured her like an artist with a need to replicate her form exactly. His hands did all the talking in a language she didn’t know but somehow understood. They came around her shoulders, grazed her collarbone, paused to gently squeeze her breasts and a moan escaped her lips as sparks shot through her from their point of contact, traveling down the path his fingers had just journeyed on.

But Barry didn’t stop there.

He slid his fingers under the curve of her breasts, caressed the skin over her rib cage, felt his way down her stomach and finished at her sweet spot. Her need was pronounced when he swiped a finger between her folds and it came out coated. He shivered as the beast within howled, begging him to take her.

But it was she who made the first move.

Iris dropped to her knees and claimed his lips, suddenly possessed by a need she’d never felt before. When they parted for air, their eyes locked and the intensity of their stare communicated a single concrete message:

_There’s no turning back now._


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so Part 1 comes to an end. This part of the au focused mainly on the two of them getting together and finding in eachother a way to control or bring out their other halves.
> 
> Part two is going to focus alot on the growth of their relationship but also their growth as individuals and dig into their pasts for some much needed answers. (finally get to explain why the au is called Au 😂)
> 
> Thanks for all the support so far everyone. I really can't say how much this means to me. Hope you all enjoy it.   
> ❤️
> 
> P. S. I might be offline next week so just bare with me. I'll be back with updates soon 😍🙏🏾  
> XOXO  
> 💜❤️

* * *

Time seemed to stop as they breathlessly looked at each other. The air held a wisp of anticipation, the calm before the storm. Unbeknownst to the other, both Iris and Barry took those seconds to memorise each detail of that breach in time.

He took in how the damp curls framed her glowing skin, how her partially opened mouth seemed to cause and electrical storm inside him, how her soft hands felt right against the taut muscles of his chest.

She captured the worshipping glow in his eyes, how the strength in his grasp made her feel small but more in a protective way rather than a diminutive one, how his heart (that hammered against her palm) seemed eager to meet hers.

The light in the room flickered before going out completely, plunging them both into total darkness save for the occasional bolt of lightning that glittered the night sky. Almost as if the blackout was the cue he’d been waiting for, Barry tightened his grip around her waist and hoisted Iris up from the floor. Instinctively she wrapped her legs around his waist and their torsos melted perfectly into each other. The action saw the towel letting go of Barry’s waist, exposing just how much he wanted her.

Just how strong his desire was.

In the darkness, it was impossible to tell where the one started and the other ended. They were like two puzzle pieces that created a picture undefinable with words. An image that spoke of the bottomless depths of love, the infinite power of destiny, the certainty of fate. With their chests pressed so closely together their hearts spoke to each other, adjusting their speeds to beat as one.

Two pulsing pieces of a single whole, at last complete.

In that instant all else in the world ceased to exist. No sight was possible in the blinding darkness. No taste matched hers to him and his to her. No touch grazed their bodies except where they were skin to skin. No sound existed apart from the single beat of their hearts.

Then she kissed him, and the world came crashing back.

Her fingers ventured into his hair almost violently and he dug his fingers in to her waist. The fervent thrums of the rain on the surfaces matched the urgency of her kiss, she wanted him. She needed him.

She would have him.

Her demanding tongue invaded his mouth, dominating his taste buds with an almost toxic sweetness. Barry felt himself grow light headed and took the few steps needed to reach the bed. He sat down, holding her on top of him and she moved her hands from his hair to his chest, pushing gently so that he laid down. He fell back, supporting himself on his arms as he moved away from the edge, till his back hit the headboard.

He was cornered, but far from helpless.

As Iris kept herself distracted, savouring his mouth, Barry brushed his hands, gingerly, down the length of her arm then brought them together at the wrist behind her back. He gave her lips a final peck and Iris opened her eyes realising, for the first time that her hands were trapped behind her back. She wanted to explore him, to feel him tremble beneath her touch but he gave her no time to contemplate a protest. His lips met the delicate skin on her neck, sending hot flashes racing through her body. He teased her, sucking gently enough not to leave a mark but hard enough to get his point across. Her scent was like an old friend as it hugged him, worsening his infatuation, making him crave her more. His kisses to her neck were slow, loving, almost like a gentle massage meant to lull her to sleep but was instead making her sweet spot quake with life.

His warm lips moved lower, his breath coating her chest like steam from a sauna and making her own breath hitch in her throat. He pressed soft kisses to her breast, circling her areola before sucking one of her nipples into his mouth.

“Barry,” She gasped as her back arched, pressing her chest further towards him and spurring him on. Her whisper was like a drop of ice cold water slipping down his spine and cooling his burning flesh. The beast within roared, fuelled by lust but Barry found the strength to hold it at bay. He didn’t want to ravage her, he wanted to taste her.

Slowly.

He moved his lips as he sucked, the touch making Iris’s eyes roll back into her head. Barry moved from one breast to other, repeating his torturous advances and stopping only to mark her chocolate skin. She’d have to keep her cleavage hidden for a few days and that excited him. Her treasures were for his eyes only. His mouth alone.

His grip on her wrists wasn’t all that tight, but his touch left her completely at his mercy. Iris didn’t recognise herself in that moment. She was never one to simply be touched and teased. Never an instrument to be deliciously played as her voice echoed out her pleasure. Yet the man beneath her had a strange power over her. He consumed her in every way possible and the closer they got, the closer to him she wanted to be. She felt an emptiness in her soul and at her core, one she somehow knew only he could fill. It was almost like a magnet lied inside her and the opposite end was in him. So she gravitated towards him naturally. Each touch, kiss, breath, suckle, lick, bite and nibble felt right.

It felt meant to be.

His desire pressed against her middle, making her mouth (and nether regions) water. She found the strength to slip out of his grasp and before he could lock her up again she wrapped her dainty hand around his arousal and he shuddered beneath her. She could feel him pulsing against her palm, vibrating with a need similar to hers. She stroked, once, twice, three times. Slow but forceful and Barry forgot to breathe.

“Breathe Barry,” she whispered in the crook of his neck before lowering her mouth onto his skin to payback his teasing.

“Breathe.”

“Iris,” came the strained cry and she felt the strength drain from her knees. Unable to hold on any longer she lined herself up with him and held her breath for a moment as she tried to find his eyes in the darkness. A flash of lightning cut through the clouds then and she managed a glimpse of his lust glazed stare. Languidly she lowered herself onto him, her head falling back as he pushed the air out of her with every inch she took in. She felt herself move around him, pulling him closer and closer to where she needed him most. It was unlike any other sexual experience she’d ever had. This time it didn’t feel meaningless. It didn’t feel like her body was simply satiating a craving. It felt more than biological.

It felt spiritual.

Like every bit of him that entered her, warmed a ghostly cold spot deep in the trenches of her soul. Like he was filling the emptiness that had been a part of her for so long she hadn’t even realised that it shouldn’t be there until he proved otherwise. Like he’d been guarding the missing piece she’d needed all this time.

Barry moaned as he hit her core and she simply sat there for a second, letting herself adjust to his size. There, starved of breath and buried deep inside her, he could no longer hear the roar of the animal within him. Darkness and light merged and from two separate entities, his soul emerged.

Whole at last.

Iris held the glue that bound his two warring sides. She accepted his darkness and his light and in her affection he found a place for them to coexist without needing to suppress either. She was his centre, his gravity, his balance.

She lifted off of him, slowly, savouring the feel of the friction between them, then sank back down. Barry’s arms found her waist, but she leaned into kiss him then and whispered:

“Lower,”

This time he knew just how low.

Without parting their lips his hands travelled down to her rounded derriere and he took the liberty of squeezing. Surprised by his sudden daring attitude she groaned and bit his lower lip. Barry used his hold to help guide her pace as she began to pick up speed. Her breathing became rhythmic, strained yet sensuous in such a primal manner that it added to the overall passion of the synergy. Iris lost herself in the sensation of no longer being broken. Her heart spoke louder than reason and with an intimately low whisper she confessed what she now had no doubt in her mind was true:

“I love you.”

Barry felt his heart skip a beat as a wave of emotions flooded through him. For so long he’d waited to hear those words with the sincerity worthy of such a declaration. He’d yearned for them before, but a part of him always felt relieved when they were spoken with little truth, they never felt right. Cause the voices that uttered them weren’t his other halves. Their hearts didn’t call out to his.

They weren’t Iris.

“I love you too.” He admitted breathlessly and she stole the declaration from his lips, claiming it with a ravenous kiss. Her back arched and straightened in a wave like motion as she moved on top of him. Each grind saw her taking him deeper inside her and her walls seemed to pulsate with ecstasy around him. Her breathing became more laboured, each breath following the previous one with lightning speed. She picked up her pace, feeling her pleasure build and rediscovering the tell-tale signs of her nearing orgasm like a virgin. She flattened her palms against the headboard, on either side of his head, to gain better leverage. Sensing that she was near her brink, Barry trailed his hands over her body, igniting her a new. Up her back, over her stomach, stopping to massage her sensitive breasts in gentle circles, past her neck and into her hair. He pulled her towards him, attacking her kiss-bruised lips and swallowing her moan as she found her release.

Her soul intertwining with his.

She stilled for a moment as her entire body was swallowed under the current of her pleasure and Barry planted his hands on her waist to keep her moving. Her grip on the headboard slackened and Iris, rested her hands on his shoulders. As she came down from her high she was eager to take him over the edge. She pressed her lips to his neck, loving the scent of his shower gel mixed with the distinct fragrance of their passion that rested on his skin. She started to move again with what strength she managed to gather and peppered his neck with kisses till she reached the sensitive spot behind his ear. Iris nibbled him and Barry came undone.

Their auras blending further.

He shuddered, emptying into her. Filling her with all his love. Trusting her with all his heart. She took all he had to offer. Making a silent promise to keep him safe. To keep him with her always for he completed her. Barry gently brushed his fingers along her face, pushing away the strands of hair that clung to her damp forehead. The darkness made it hard for him to see her eyes, but he could feel her gaze on him. He could sense the emotion reverberating from her stare. Sense the love she willingly showed. Despite the lack of sight, he felt like he was seeing her for the first time.

Unguarded, unworried, completely open to him.

“I love you Iris.” He repeated, wanting her to know that he meant it, that it wasn’t just a heat-of-the-moment confession, that his feelings were true. In the shadows he saw a smile form on her features and she gingerly framed his face in her hands.

“I love you Barry.” She assured him and for the first time she felt those three words in the very core of her bones. Her lips closed over his, sealing their confessions. The beauty in her tamed the beast in him. His light evened out her darkness. Their souls were whole, their bodies spent, their hearts content, their minds at peace.

He was hers and she was his.


	22. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been more than a month since I last updated this AU and I'm sorry for that darlings, I've been bouncing back and forth between fics like a maniac. I hope yall like this one. We're getting into part 2 and this one is going to focus on Barry and Iris's back story as well as the development of their relationships. I've also changed the perspective a little bit just to spice things up. 😉
> 
> Enjoy darlings 😘 
> 
> It's a mild cliffhanger so don't worry too much about it ❤️😉
> 
> XOXO

* * *

[Iris]

**_Central City the next city of love._**   
_How Paris’s golden girl found love in Central City_

I read that headline repeatedly for the first twenty minutes, as I tried to sort through the hurricane of emotions blowing through me. It wasn’t the first time I’d made the cover of a newspaper but it was usually for humanitarian efforts. Topics that involved interviews, where I had some control over what got put out there.

This was the first time I was caught off guard. The first time my face was pictured under a headline with such a gossip like nature.

And I wasn’t alone.

The photo on the article was of an intimate moment between Barry and I. The memory made a smile tickle my lips despite the circumstances…

_“Do you really have to rush off? I mean it’s only seven in the morning. I could make us breakfast.” He offered. His arms were around my waist, pulling me close and being there – wrapped in his arms with his body heat warming me up all over made resisting his offer so much harder than it should be._

_“Tempting,” I chuckled out._

_“But I have to get home. I’ve been away from my affairs for almost a week now so I need to do some damage control.” I answered._

_“So you’re passing on waffles with me for a few conference calls?” he asked, feigning indignation and my heart did a flip at how adorable he looked._

_“Waffles?” I asked, biting the corner of my lip and he nodded, his face lighting up at my hesitation to leave._

_“Yep, I’ll even add some strawberries and ice cream to sweeten the deal.” He drove a hard bargain but I had to go._

_His roommate would probably be home soon and I wanted to keep whatever was going on between us… well, between us._

_“Has anyone ever told you you’re a business woman’s worst nightmare?” I joked and he shook his head._

_“I can’t really say I’ve ever been called a nightmare, but I have been known to feature in people’s dreams.” He answered with a flirty smile, once again surprising me with his confidence. To think that only a week before he was a stuttering mess in my office as I asked him to call me by my first name. But there he was, with a sinner’s smile on his lips and menacing twinkle in his eyes._

_“Oh I have no doubt about that,” I flirted back._

_“In fact I’m hoping you’ll make an appearance on a few of mine.” The blush that spread over his cheeks brought his inner good-boy back out and I chuckled._

_“Tell you what. You let me go and have a great day at work and then later on I’ll cook you dinner.” I propositioned and his brow furrowed in surprise._

_“You cook?” he asked and I playfully slapped his chest in indignation._

_“Yes I cook thank you very much. I wasn’t born into a crib of gold you know.” I clarified and he seemed impressed._

_“Well then, I look forward to it.” He answered then leaned into me and whispered:_

_“Can’t wait to see what you whip up for dessert.”_

_Then he kissed me, slow and heated. I got lost in the moment, consumed by him, ecstatic at our little piece of heaven. Little did we know, we were being watched._

Anger simmered just bellow the surface of my skin as the intimacy of that moment was stripped away from me, tainting a memory I had come to love. The more I analised the situation the more my rage grew. But what irked me most wasn’t the fact that I was the subject of a surprise attack. It was that whatever scum of the earth that wrote the article felt the need to drag Barry into it.

Call me selfish or a spoiled brat but being an only grandchild to a multibillionaire meant that I wanted for nothing and never had to share. So I wasn’t about to start. Especially not when it came to Barry.

He was mine.

"Linda!” I yelled, throwing the covers off of me violently and storming towards my closet. My poor assistant came rushing in with the fear of death blazing in her eyes.

“Oui madame?”  She asked flustered while pushing her glasses further up the bridge of her nose.

“Get Scott at CCPN and Dr Snow at STAR labs on the phone. Let them know to expect me. I'm in the mood to fire someone.” I growled as I threw off the night gown I’d put on earlier to unwind after a morning of conference calls and putting out fires.

Dressed in a nude pencil skirt and a white dress shirt I clicked my way down the stairs, each step sounding out my furry to who ever stood within ear shot.

“CCPN Diggle, and step on it.” I ordered as I got into the back seat and put on my sunglasses.

“Right away Ms West,” he responded and started the car. Under normal circumstances I’d drive myself there, I know I’d get there a lot faster in my A3. But I didn’t know what to expect so I decided that I needed the muscle and I trusted Diggle more than anyone else on my security team. Just as I suspected a collection of vans were haphazardly parked around my gate and as soon as we pulled out of the driveway a group of photographers rushed up to the car, cameras poised and ready.

I rubbed my temples with my thumb and middle finger as a sigh or exhaustion escaped me. I could feel a migraine coming on.

My fingers curled into fists and released continuously as we made our way there, grasping at whatever invisible shreds of control were still available to me.

“We’re here Ms West.” John announced and I shook my head giving him the signal to go ahead and open my door. The stream of camera flashes started off as a drizzle then roared to life like a parasitic tsunami. Diggle positioned himself in front of me and cleared a path for me to walk and I kept my shoulders back and my head held high, ignoring all the…

_“Who’s your mystery guy?”_

And…

_“How long have you been dating?”_

John slammed the door open, no doubt by mistake in his hurry to get me to safety, and the entire room grew quiet.

Perfect.

“What in the name is going o- Ms West.” Scott exclaimed as he came in from his office.

“Scott.” I said sharply and whipped the sunglasses from my face to give him a good look at my pissed state of being.

“Apologies, I hadn’t realised you’d arrived, I-”

I held my hand up, interrupting his word vomit, then pointedly said.

“Save the pleasantries Evans, I want the person responsible for this mornings cover story.”

“That would be me. Spencer Young. Pleased to meet you.” A young lady with auburn curls and big baby eyes approached me from her desk with her hand extended. I took it, willing my touch to melt her on contact but the bitch wouldn’t budge so I smiled instead and stared her down.

Defiance glistened in her eyes.

“Spencer is it? Could I have a word?” I asked, hoping my tone and smile didn’t give away how fake my politeness was.

“Of course Ms West. Lead the way.” She agreed her act a lot more polished than mine. I wanted to scream for Diggle to get me a gun but I swallowed down my furry and lead her to the meeting room.

We walked in and I flung my hand bag down on a chair as she closed the door behind her.

“Alright Young, drop the act. Who the fuck do you work for?” I asked, getting straight to the point.

“Oh, I’m sorry I thought you met my boss, Scott Evans? He’s the blubbering mess outside.” She said sarcastically and I felt the vein on my forehead twitch with annoyance.

“Don’t get smart with me, you know exactly what I want to know. Every reporter around the world knows that my personal life is off limits and I’ve worked my ass off for years to make sure that message got across. So I don’t know who the hell you think you are but consider this your first, last and only warning. If you ever cross me again I will fire your ass." I threatened under my breath but the other woman seemed barely phased.

"Do it.” She answered simply, taking me by surprise.

“I dare you. Fire me and I'll hit you with a wrongful termination suit." She challenged. Indignation streamed out of me in waves and my brows knitted in hatred.

"Two can play at that game you bitch. That little article you posted borders on defamation of character. I have half a mind to sue you for everything your worth." I countered and she laughed, doing little to soothe my anger strained nerves.

"Well that's rich considering the photographic evidence. Owning as many media houses as you do, one would assume you'd understand the concept Freedom of the press Ms. West. You're a public figure and what you do and stop doing is all public interest. You might have been able to buy your image ‘around the world’ but some of us still have journalistic integrity. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got work to do." She pushed past me with an air of arrogance and walked towards the office doors.

"Oh and Ms West?" she called back before she left,

"You have great taste in men. Barry Allen is quite the catch."


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  So it's been a while since I last updated this story and I'm really sorry, been bouncing back and forth like a maniac between fics but here we go. Finally done with this update. Hope yall like it. Yes questions will be asked, always, but don't worry as always they shall be answered soon enough.
> 
> Just a quick update on Tears She Shed. I'm hoping to end the story on 10 chapters and for that to happen I still have alot to cover in the last three chapters I owe you. That being said, I'm going to take a little while to update that one but when I do the chapters will be longer than my usual, please just hang in there! 
> 
> Thanks for the patience and love so far I promise to respond to your comments very soon. 😚❤️
> 
>  
> 
> Have fun!  
> XOXO
> 
> P. S. Cliffhanger warnings apply ❤️

* * *

_[Flashback]_

_The tacky red carpeting beneath my heels silenced the calculated clicks of my determined steps. With shades on my eyes, despite the late hour, and two body guards behind me, I strutted down the mediocre hallway of the three star hotel, suppressing the need to shudder with disgust. With my reputation, I would never be caught dead in that place and yet because of it I found my self standing in front of door 69, trying not to cringe at the coincidence between the number and the cheap porno moans emanating from inside._

_I gestured at the door, with my head, and stood back, taking a deep breath as one of the boys (well men) kicked the door in. The scene that laid before me as I stepped inside would have been almost comical if I weren’t so pissed. The lovers stared at me wide eyed from their soiled bed, grasping onto the sheets to try and preserve some form of dignity as they panted away they’re decency._

_“Gisele, André. Good to see you both again so soon.” I greeted, my French impeccable._

_“Ms. West? What are you doing here?” André asked, his dark hair clinging to his forehead with perspiration. I smiled, amused by the fear in his eyes – I hadn’t even threatened him yet and I already had him squirming, this was going to be easy._

_“Well, a little birdy told me that your little skank somehow crashed my charity event this weekend and stayed long enough for the after party. Now I had one too many drinks so my behaviour was… let’s say questionable, at best, and she recorded the entire show.” I stepped further into the dimly lit room, despite my stomach summersaulting against it, and they sat back against the creased pillows, eyeing me like prey too afraid to blink lest I pounce._

_“So what? Are you here to threaten us with your body guards?” he spat out with disdain._

_“Oh no, no, no, no, no. I’m not a violent woman André, you know that.” I offer him a playful wink, my charm visibly irritating him._

_“I’m a businesswoman so I’m here to negotiate. You call your office now and tell them to remove the scandalous front page spread you have on me and in return I won’t pay your dear wife a much needed visit. I’m not sure she’d particularly like to know that Gisele is more than just your best reporter. So what do you say? Do we have a deal?”_

_“How did you even find me?!” he asks, frustrated, and I know that I have him backed into a corner._

_“Oh you’re not the only one with nosy friends André. Mine are just classier.” I answered, my body dry of nervous sweat._

_“André, this could ruin us.” Gisele speaks up and I’m pleased to see that she’s more than just a fuck doll. Her submissive silence was beginning to annoy me. He stared me down, his eyes daggers of anger, but I could read in his expression that he knew he had no choice. I simply offered him a challenging smile back._

_“Pass me the phone Gisele,” he said finally and I smirked victoriously._

_“I knew you’d see it my way.” I said as he placed the call and changed that weeks front page._

_“Nice doing business with you,” I answered as he hung up and I turned on my heel to walk out._

_“Bitch,” I heard him say under his breath and I stopped mid step and looked over my shoulder at them to answer:_

_“Honey, you haven’t even seen the half of it.”_

_Back in the car I pulled my phone out of my purpose and speed dialed my PI._

_“Well if it isn’t my favourite it-girl,” Amunet’s voice chimed from the other end._

_“Amunet darling, tell me you have good news,” I pleaded._

_“Of course ,I aim to please. My sources tell me that the front page has been put through the shredder and I had my IT guy delete all folders from their computers. It’s like the after party never happened.” She sang and I breathed out a sigh of relief._

_“Thank you honey, I can always count on you.”_

_“The pleasure is mine Ms. West. Any thing else I can do for you?” She asks._

_“Actually, there is one last thing. Email the photos to Marie. She’s always been too good for André anyway, I think I’ll be doing her a favour.”_

* * *

[Present day]

I sighed out frustrated as the city landscape zoomed past me outside my car window. As much as I wanted to call Amunet to get the dirt on that pesky little wannabe reporter, her jurisdiction began and ended in France so that would do me no good. Plus the damage had already been done and no matter how much I wanted to destroy Spencer’s life, the truth was, my only option was to lay low and hope some other celebrity released a sex tape in the next twenty four hours.

I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. Laying low wasn't a problem for me. I could hop onto my private jet and escape to the Bahamas till it all blew over.

But Barry wouldn’t come with me.

Suddenly paradise didn't seem like paradise anymore. Not without him. My heart fluttered at the thought of his smile and I felt a longing to be near him. To let him wrap his arms around me and melt all my worries away with the warmth of his embrace.

_"Barry Allen is quite the catch."_  
Spencer's words rang in my mind making my gut clench into a fist. That was as good a threat as any I'd ever dished out. She knew who he was, which meant that she could use that information at any moment to ruin his life. Right now he was just a pretty face, but once his name got out there - associated with mine - it was game over. He'd lose he's mundane life and I might lose him because of it.

I needed to see him.

“John, change of plans. Take me to STAR labs.” I asked giving in to my need.

“Right away Ms. West.” He answered and advanced on a green light, taking a few quick turns and changing our route. My phone rang and I fished it out of my purse, looking at the caller ID and praying for it not to be another reporter. It wasn't.

“Kurtis. To what do I owe the pleasure?” I asked as I answered the call.

“Ms. West. I finished going through the STAR labs accounts and I know that we had a meeting planned for later this week but this seemed too urgent.”

“I’m listening,” I said sitting up straighter in my seat.

“Well it’s just that some of these numbers don’t add up. Well on paper and in the books they add up, but like in real life-”

“Kurtis,” I cut him off as politely as I could, knowing fairly well how he got once he started rambling.

“Right. Sorry. Getting to the point. See, I noticed that the intern program was responsible for almost thirty percent of the last trimesters expenses and it was all justified as equipment purchases. High end microscopes, top of the line splicers, the best computer system money can buy, etcetera.” He explained and I patiently waited for him to get to the problem.

“Now the only problem is that when I checked the electricity bill things started to look a little fuzzy. You see I have a list of all the equipment in the lab and extensive knowledge on how they all work, as you know, and the power being consumed is way less than what I estimated would be needed to work with all these machines. And I’m saying this after looking at and comparing the expenses for more than one month.”

“So what are you telling me?” I asked, leaning forward in my seat.

“I’m telling you that either your money’s being used to purchase equipment that’s simply collecting dust or the book keeper’s guilty of fraud and you’re being robbed blind.”

Diggle came to a subtle break at the STAR labs parking lot and I took a minute to process all the information I’d just been given.

“These new machines that you say we’ve bought recently, would you be able to recognise them?” I asked.

“Every single one.” He answered.

“Great. I’m relocating our meeting. Meet me at the lab on Thursday 2pm sharp. I think I need to make my own inventory.” I said, glad that I chose someone with a background on science to do the math. It would have made more sense to get an actual accountant but he’d just balance out the books and I needed someone who would tell me what those numbers meant – what my grandfather’s fortune was being used for. Kurtis had been a friend of the family for years so I called in a favour and boy was it paying off.

“Alright then, I’ll see you on Thursday.”

“Thanks Kurtis.” I said and hung up.

“Everything alright Ms. West?” Diggle asked, looking back at me through the rear view mirror.

“Not really John, but it will be.” I said and straightened out my hair before I walked out of the car, leaving him surprised that I’d admitted defeat, even if only for a moment.

* * *

[Barry]

“Dude!” Cisco exclaimed as he playfully slaped my arm. His voice held a hint of pride though I doubted his amusement was due to my microscope skills.

“What?” I asked as I peeled my eyes from the eyepiece and jotted down my observation for further analysis.

“When were you planning on telling me?” he asked.

“Telling you what?” I asked, still not giving him my undivided attention.

“That you’re hitting it with the boss.”

Well that got my attention.

“Wait what?” I asked, snapping my head towards him to find him looking at me with a knowing grin. The implications behind that expression made my cheeks flush. Cisco laid out the day's edition of the Central City Picture News and my eyes widened as they took in the front page.

There I was, sharing an intimate moment with Iris. A goodbye kiss that happened that morning.

“So you gonna keep denying it?” he asked, raising his eyebrows and I snatched the paper off the steel table to read the article. With every word I read, I found myself growing more and more irritated. Not that the article was particularly defamatory (though the journalist could have been kinder) but because I felt like something important had been stolen from me. Like the photographic evidence splattered on the cheap piece of paper for everyone to see, had somehow taken away from the moment, made it less special.

“Yeah remember when I asked you to stop smiling so much last week?” Cisco asked and I looked up at him, subconsciously crumpling the paper in my hands.

“Ignore that piece of advice, scowling does not look good on you man,” he continued.

“Why do you look like someone stepped on your turtle anyway?” he enquired and I sighed as I slouched into my chair.

“Honestly? I don’t like that this got out.” I admitted, confiding in him with an ease that had been growing for the past five years we’d known each other.

“Hold on a second let me get this straight, you’re upset cause your relationship’s gone public?” he asked.

“Why do you say that like it’s so hard to believe?”

“Umm, because it is? I mean come on Barry. You change your status from ‘single’ to ‘in a relationship’ half way through your first date! You post so much I know your ex girlfriends about as well as I know mine.”

“That is not true,” I whined, though in the back of my head I knew he was right.

“Oh yeah? Monica was allergic to stuffed animals, Georgia had a Smarties obsession and Becky was an adrenaline junkie who somehow couldn’t stand horror movies. And don’t get me started on their dating preferences.” He listed.

“Alright, alright you’ve proved your point. Although to be fair you could have gotten that information anywhere.” I gave in.

“It’s not too late for me to list their favourite flowers,” he gave me a pointed look.

“Who’s favourite flowers?” Came Iris’s voice from the door way and I turned to face her like a deer caught in headlights.

“Hey!” I exclaimed , louder than I intended to and somehow the blush on my face made her smirk.

“Hey yourself,” she greeted back, walking towards me. Iris placed her hand bag on one of the steel tables and I stood to greet her as she reached me. Her arms snaked around my neck and she pulled me in for a kiss, Cisco’s presence a non-existent factor. I placed my hands lightly on her sides, trying to keep our little PDA session as PG as possible, but from the fervor with which she attacked my lips I could tell that she had other intentions.

“OK, then.” Cisco said, clearing his throat right after, then adding:

“I’ll give you two a minute.”

As soon as he walked out I peeled myself off of her and looked into her flushed face. She was breathless as she looked up at me and for some reason I could sense that something was wrong. Despite the tingles in my lower body telling me she needed a distraction my mind couldn't help wondering what it was that she was trying to forget.

“Are you OK?” I asked and she smiled but it doesn’t reach her eyes.

“I’m fine, I just wanted to see you.” She said bowing her head slightly and looking at me through her long lashes, like a shy little school girl. She was flirting with me, trying to distract me and as crazy as it might sound, I somehow knew her well enough to see that she was hiding something. I retook my seat and pulled her down onto my lap, wrapping my hands around her with the right amount of intimacy.

“Alright, tell me what’s wrong.” I requested.

“But I-”

“As flattering as it is that you might have come all this way to see me, something tells me that it’s not the whole reason why.” She looked at me, wide eyed with astonishment, then turned her face away from me.

“Hey,” I cood, pinching her chin between my thumb and forefinger and pulling her face gently towards me.

“Let me help.” I asked and she offered me a shaky smile before she wrapped her arms around me again but this time she pulled me in for a hug instead.

“Just hold me. Please.” She whispered and my heart skipped a beat. I was still not used to seeing her that vulnerable, but somehow it made me love her more.

Love. It seemed almost ridiculous. I’d known her for less than a month and yet somehow I knew that if I had to trade my life for hers I would have done it in a heart beat. She completed me somehow. I can’t really explain it but when I’m around her I feel more like myself than I have in a very long time. She brought out a wholeness in me that I couldn't even bring out in myself.

Maybe that’s why I could read her so well. Because I wasn't as preoccupied trying to control my emotions so I could pay attention to the little things. Like the slight droop of her eyes when she got upset, or the way she was clutching on to me like a life line. Like she was scared of losing me. 

“Did you read the article?” She asked, her voice so soft it was almost like she was afraid of the answer.

“Yeah I did. Is that what this is about? The article?” I asked, holding her just as steadily to reassure her that I wasn't going anywhere. To my surprise she was the one that pulled away. She chuckled sadly, her eyes never meeting mine.

“I’m guessing you have some questions for me then?” She asked and my brow furrowed in confusion.

“Questions?”

“Yeah. About my life, my past.” She explained and finally the penny dropped. She was afraid I was going to hate her because the article labelled her as a “mysterious play girl”.

“I do have one question,” I said and she looked up at me this time.

“Is there anything in your past that’s stopping you from building a future with me?” I asked and her eyes widened as they bounced between mine. A small smile played on her lips before she answered:

“No. There isn’t.”

“That’s all I need to know,” I reassured her.

“The rest you can share with me if and when you want to. OK?”

She nodded, a single tear escaping her eyes and I cupped her face with the palm of my hand then use my thumb to swipe it away.

“Now, where were we?” I asked, and pulled her down to me, pressing my lips to hers in a slow kiss that told her that I wasn't going anywhere.

* * *

[Iris]

I left with a smile permanently plastered onto my face and only because I promised I’d cook dinner. Or else I would have stayed with him till his shift was over. Admiring his purposeful movements as he worked around the lab and picturing his reaction to me in nothing but a lab coat.

As much as I hated to admit it, I was like a school girl with a teenage crush and the sexual appetite of a porn star. I barely recognised the grinning goofball that starred back at me when I looked in the mirror!

“John I need to make a quick shop at the grocery store,” I warned as I realise we were getting close to it.

His brows furrowed in the rear view mirror, but he didn't question me despite his tone of uncertainty when he answered:

“Yes ma’am.”

“I could have had one of the girls do it for me but, I’m cooking tonight so I prefer to pick out my own ingredients.” I admitted to him, surprising us both.

“That sounds like a good plan of action ma’am.” He responded while trying to figure out how to maintain his professionalism in the face of that strange new dynamic.

“Thank you Digg.” I smiled at him and his expression of confusion deepened.

I couldn't remember the last time I had to pick out a tomato or decide on a type of cheese but somehow it all came back to me the minute I wrapped my fingers around the shopping cart’s handle. Thankfully without flashbacks of the circumstances that forced me to learn those skills.

I believed Barry might have had something to do with that.

Somehow being with him, knowing that he cared for me, that he wanted a future with me, it made me feel worthy of happiness. Like happiness was attainable after all. Like love wasn't just some fairytale meant to keep girls in their rooms waiting for prince charming. He didn't feel like he completed me exactly but like he brought out the best in me. He awakened apart of me that I put to sleep in order to protect myself. But now there was no reason to be guarded. There wasn't a reason for me to suppress the part of me that wanted to smile for no reason, or sing along to a song on the radio, or have a conversation about family recipes with the family chauffer.

“Thanks for the tips Digg. I’m definitely adding sweet basil to my sauce.” I said as I got out of the car and walked to the trunk to get my groceries.

“Trust me Ms. West, you’ll never cook without it again.” He assured me with a smile, the initial awkwardness of our exchange now a distant memory.

“Please let me help with those.” He offered kindly and I split my load with him as we walked inside.

“Where the hell have you been?” came Eddie’s voice and I turned my head in the direction of the sound, my smile slipping from my face when my eyes met his.   
  
  
  



	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello shippers! 
> 
> So this one has been a very long time coming and I'm sorry about that, had to work through a writers block, not the most fun😢 but here's an update and I'll will try my absolute best to make the next update a quick one!
> 
> Hope we're all staying safe and keeping the hope up ❤️ we'll make it through this ❤️❤️❤️
> 
> XOXO - cliffhanger warnings apply 💋

[Iris]

Diggle takes a protective step in front of me and as he speaks to me his eyes never leave Eddie’s fuming figure.

“Would you like me to escort him out Ms West?”

“No, that’s alright John. Please just take these to the kitchen for me and see if you can find Linda. Ask her to contact Mr Wells and have him here as soon as possible.”

“Are you sure?” He asks while already following my orders, though with a certain level of hesitation.

“Yes I am, I’ll be fine thank you,” I assure him and with a final warning glance at the other man in the room he takes his leave. Eddie eyes me with an unmistakable mix of emotions, the most pronounced of them being anger and annoyance. Though, the longer he looks at me the more apparent his hurt becomes.

“Well?” he spits out with the righteousness of a person deserving an explanation.

“Let’s talk in my office.” My tone is polite yet authoritative. Just ’cause he’s caught me in a good mood, in no way means I’m not the one calling the shots.

“I’m alright here thanks. Can’t stand that place anyway. Too many memories.”

An unplanned scoff leaves my throat and I smile, amused by his assumption that he holds some form of bargaining power in this situation. Without a word I make my way to my office, unbothered by the animosity in his voice as he shouts out my name.

“If you could keep your voice down I’d appreciate it. Now, you barged into my house unannounced-”

“Unannounced?! I’ve been trying to get a hold of you since you got back home from the hospital!”

“Would you shut the hell up and let me finish!” My anger gets the best of me cause nothing pisses me off more than being cut off mid argument.

“Yes, I’ve seen your calls. Yes I rejected every single one of them. And by definition unannounced means that you didn’t inform me that you were stopping by. Whether that was because of your incompetence or my lack of interest in speaking to you is beside the point.”

He opens his mouth to speak and I simply raise my brow pointedly. He reads me loud and clear and remains silent.

“Since you’re here, I’ll be a decent human being and let you say your piece, so you don’t feel like you’ve wasted your time but it’s going to be in my office. Or else you can see yourself out. I trust you know the way?”

His eyes are as good as flames as he stares me down, but ultimately he caves, to my egos satisfaction.

“Fine,” he spits and stomps his way after me.

I let him enter first and close the doors behind us.

“What’s going on Iris?” he asks as I walk towards my table and turn to face him.

“Why have you been ignoring my calls?”

“Why does anyone ignore anyone’s call Eddie? I don’t want to talk to you.” I cross arms, leaning back against the smooth wood of the front of my desk and look at him. Our history making me soften slightly. I know he cares for me, I’ve known for a little while, which is why I’ve tried my best not to blur the lines all these years.

Guess he didn’t get the memo.

“I just wanted to know that you’re alright. What’s so wrong about that?”

“There’s nothing wrong about that. What’s wrong is you forcing your tongue down my throat in my hallway. Or showing up at the hospital and starting a brawl with my guest.”   
At the mention of Barry, Eddie rolls his eyes.

“You’re acting like a jealous boyfriend Eddie, and I’m sorry if I somehow haven’t made this clear before but that’s not your position to fill.”

“Why?” He asks after a minute of thoughtfull reprieve.

“Why?” I repeat, confused.

“Yeah, why? Why can’t I fill that spot in your life? What’s missing for you to admit that whatever this is between us is more than just sex?”

I simply stare at him, stunned.

_Whatever this is between us._

My mind races through all our interactions, the ones I can still remember that is, and there isn’t a single moment that highlights my behaving towards him in a manner that might have triggered such a response. 

“Eddie I don’t know what exactly it is that you’re on but there is nothing between us. There isn’t even an _us_ to begin with. We just had some great physical chemistry, that’s it.” 

His eyes widen. He can’t believe what I’m saying, and for the first time ever, I find myself hesitating before speaking. My conscious, that’s been partially dormant for the past few years, seems to be awakening and telling me that I used him. 

Which is true. 

I gave my body whole heartedly to him without the promise of an emotional connection and somehow in my “I don’t give a fuck” haze I missed all the signs that he was growing attached. I realised the truth too late. I used him like a toy, I played him like a carefully crafted instrument and now I have no use for him anymore. His time has ended, but the hurt shining through his bloodshot eyes is weaving a knot in my throat that’s making it hard to speak. 

“Maybe it would be best if we-”

“Don’t say it. Please don’t say it.” He whispers casting his glance on the floor. I see a teardrop fall to the ground and my heart constricts. 

“Eddie,” I sigh compassionately as I make my way to him but he takes a step back. 

“Don’t come any closer. Don’t do that. Don’t act like you give a fuck about me!” He sniffles, turning away from me to wipe away the evidence of his pain. 

“Eddie please.”

“No Iris! I love you OK? I’ve given you everything I had for the past three years! I’ve cancelled meetings, booked unplanned flights, I’ve been at your beck and call any time you needed to blow off steam or shut out whatever pain it was that you were in! I’ve worshipped you from a far and held you like you meant everything to me and all for what? Huh? So that you can replace me with the next idiot who sees your put-together exterior?” 

His outburst paralyses me and its all I can do to breathe, blink and swallow. Eddie let’s out a pained chuckle and passes his fingers through his mess of blonde hair. 

“I’ve never fucked you a single day in the past year. Maybe in the beginning but not this past year. I made love to you Iris. I declared myself over and over again to you in a way that I thought you’d understand. A way that wasn’t direct and wouldn’t just force you to face reality because I knew how fragile you were. I left my heart in your hand every single time, trusting, _hoping_ , that someday you’d open your eyes long enough to realise that I was yours. That I’d do anything for you. But you never did. You just let me give in. You’d whisper out my name like a song and let me get addicted. You’d play at my heart strings, calling me ‘babe’ and making me feel like your fucking hero when you needed me most. You’d open yourself up to me and let me believe that your heart was part of the package. But it was a fake. Just like you. Too bad it took me this long to realise it.” 

My eyes sting at his insult and my mouth grows dry. Still I don’t move, I simply watch as he tears me apart. 

“I’m done, West. I can’t do this anymore and I hope to God that the next idiot realises sooner than I did. Word of advice, don’t string the new kid along. His not apart of our cut throat world and if I could fall for you so will he. It’ll kill him when he realises who you really are. That you’re just using him as some form of physical therapy dummy to forget your pain.” 

He walks towards the door, pausing with his hand on the handle and turning to me with a pained expression to say:

“You don’t deserve him.” 

His words hit me like a blow to the gut and my vision blurs with my tears that grow increasingly difficult to hold back. He opens the door to leave, only to find Joe on the other side. 

“I’m sorry, Wells called and said…” his voice trails off once he locks his eyes with mine. A film of worry coats his gaze and he steps past Eddie towards me.

“Iris what’s wrong?” He asks.

“Someone finally placed a mirror in front of her and showed her, her own ugly truth.” Eddie spits out before slamming the door behind him.

I stare blankly at the closed door, un sure what to say. Unsure what to feel. 

“Iris?” Joe asks drawing my attention to him and when my eyes meet his worried one’s the guilt inside me finally breaks me and I crumble to the floor, a mess of tears. He rushes to my side and kneels beside me, drawing me to him and hushing me as he rocks me gently. 

“It’s alright baby girl. Its alright.” He whispers and I don’t pull away. I let him hold me, let him comfort me. I let his suit jacket soak up my tears, while Eddie’s words replay in my mind. 

_But it was a fake, just like you…_

_Showed her, her own ugly truth…_

_You don’t deserve him._

It hurts. It all hurts. Because somewhere inside me I know that it’s all true. I don’t deserve Barry, I don’t deserve Joe. I don’t deserve the kind of happiness human emotion can provide because I’ve pledged my loyalty to the material life and hurt more people than I care to admit.

“I’m, I’m so sorry,” I cry into his shoulder and he caresses my hair with the gentleness of a father comforting his child. 

“It’s OK baby girl. Just let it all out, its OK.” He says. I feel Joe plant a kiss on my forehead and my sobs become more violent. All at once the pains of my life come crashing down on me. Being and orphan, learning the ruthlessness of the lavish life, losing my grandfather, finding out his betrayal and, the one that hurts most of all:

The thought of a possible future without Barry. 

 

* * *

[Barry]

Iris’s visit leaves me walking on air for the rest of the day and the article barely grazes my mind as I busy myself testing and recording samples. It’s about an hour before I have to go when Patty pops into the lab. 

“Hey Barry,” she says, looking visibly uneasy. 

“Hi Patty. Is… everything OK?” I ask noting her discomfort. She quickly nods her head. 

“Yeah, everything’s fine. Sorry to bother you but, um, Dr Snow wants to see you. She’s in her office.” She says shyly. She’s been on edge around me lately. More than usual that is. 

“Does she know we have an intercom system especially for this?” I ask and Patty simply looks down at the floor, her cheeks growing red. 

“I’ll be right there.” I sigh, rolling out my chair and taking my chemical laced gloves off. 

“Alright I’ll let her know to expect you.” Patty answers, her eyes still trained on the floor. 

“Thanks Pat,” I call out as she walks away. 

“Oh and Patty?”

Her head pops back in. 

“You really shouldn’t let her use you as her errand girl. That’s not your job.”

She reddens, nods quickly and disappears. 

A minute or two later I make my way to Caitlin Snow’s office. 

“You wanted to see me Dr Snow?” I ask, peeking my head in. 

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t S. T. A. R. Labs’ very own superstar?” She chimes. 

“Come on in Mr Allen and close the door.” She commands, but in a tone so sweet that my stomach clenches with the feeling that I might be walking into a trap. I sit across from her, my fingers drumming on the arm rests beside me. On her desk, splayed out (almost as if on purpose) I see it, the infamous front page article. 

I freeze. 

After what feels like an eternity but is actually just a few seconds of tense silence, she finally speaks. 

“Alright Barry, I’ll get straight to the point.” 

I straighten in my chair at the casually intimate way in which she addresses me. 

“Is there something going on between you and Ms West?”

My pulse stills and my eyes widen and yet, I don’t validate the question with an answer.

“Because you do know we have an in lab policy right? Relationships of such an, um, intimate nature are frowned upon.” 

My brow wrinkles with confusion. That’s never been a rule. 

“I don’t mean to impose it’s just… it would be such a shame for such a brilliant mind to go to waist for something as mundane as a little crush.” She coos but I can hear the venom dripping from every last word. She can’t hide her satisfaction at my squirming behind the little “protective mother” act she’s got going on. Caitlin blinks and a smirk creeps onto her lips for a millisecond, but it’s enough for something inside me to snap. Before I can stop myself I find myself answering:

“Funny, I don’t remember that policy. Tell me are there exceptions to the rule?” she looks at me confused so I elaborate, speaking with the confidence of a person who knows they’re right. 

“Where was this rule when you and Ronnie took, longer than usual lunch breaks in your locked office? I mean, really Dr Snow, we’re all adults here, we all know what went on in here.” Her pale skin reddens and instead of taking that as my cue to apologise, I continue, almost like a dam inside me has suddenly been broken, leaving me with only two options: speak or drown. 

“Not to burst your bubble but these walls aren’t as sound proof as you’d hoped and you’re not all the silent a lov-”

“That’s enough!” She stands, slamming her fists on her desk.

“This is completely inappropriate! My personal life is not up for discussion!”

“Great, and neither is mine.” I rise to address her, taking advantage of my extra height to tower over her.

“So let’s make a deal, for the sake of both our careers. You keep your eyes on your own life and I’ll erase your dying-cat climax moan from my mind.”

Lord knows I’ve been trying but somethings just can’t be unheard. The colour drains from her cheeks and her eyes widen in shock. She’s not used to being addressed in this manner, much less by me. Normally I’d give her exactly what she wants, eating every last crumb from the palm of her hand but not this time. Not after she looked down at my relationship with Iris and trivialised my love for her. 

 _Love_ , I know it’s insane but it’s the truth. Two weeks or not, I love her and I won’t sit idly as someone spits on that. We deserve better. Iris deserves better. She deserves someone who can take charge and stand up for what they believe in. Someone brave and willing to fight for her. Someone like her. 

“Get out!” Snow finally screams as the colour returns to her cheeks just as suddenly as it left. 

“Gladly.” I chirp with a smile and make my way out, stopping at the door to call over my shoulder:

“Oh and Caitlin? If you’re planning on firing me don’t forget the decision has to be run by Ms West first. If what you’re presuming about my love life is true, I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” 

 


End file.
